第12章

类别:其他 作者:Henry, Jr.James字数:11560更新时间:19/01/07 14:51:50
Icouldn’thelpjumpingstraightup——Istoodbeforehim。\"SothatwhoevermayhaveBEENtheman,themanNOW,theactualman——\" \"Oh,\"saidObert,looking,luminousandstraight,upatmefromhisseat,\"themannow,theactualman——!\"Buthestoppedshort,withhiseyessuddenlyquittingmeandhiswordsbecomingaformlessejaculation。Thedooroftheroom,towhichmybackwasturned,hadopened,andIquicklylookedround。ItwasBrissendenhimselfwho,tomysupremesurprise,stoodthere,withrapidinquiryinhisattitudeandface。Isaw,assoonashecaughtmine,thatIwaswhathewanted,and,immediatelyexcusingmyselfforaninstanttoObert,Ianticipated,bymovingacrosstheroom,theneed,onpoorBriss’spart,ofmyfurtherdemonstration。Mywholesenseofthesituationblazedupatthetouchofhispresence,andevenbeforeIreachedhimithadrolledovermeinaprodigiouswavethatIhadlostnothingwhatever。Ican’tbegintosayhowthefactofhisappearancecrownedthecommunicationmyinterlocutorhadjustmademe,norinwhatabrightconfusionofmanythingsIfoundmyselffacingpoorBriss。OneofthesethingswaspreciselythathehadneverbeensomuchpoorBrissasatthismoment。Thatministeredtotheconfusionaswellastothebrightness,forifhisbeingthereatallrenewedmysourcesandreplenishedmycurrent——spokeall,inshort,formygain——so,ontheotherhand,inthelightofwhatIhadjusthadfromObert,hisparticularaspectwassomethingofashock。 Ican’tpresentthisespecialimpressionbetterthanbythementionofmyinstantcertitudethatwhathehadcomeforwastobringmeamessageandthatsomehow——yes,indubitably——thiscircumstanceseemedtohaveplacedhimagainattheverybottomofhishole。Itwasdowninthatdepththatheletmeseehim——itwasoutofitthathedeliveredhimself。PoorBriss! poorBriss!——IhadaskedmyselfbeforehespokewithwhatkindnessenoughIcouldmeethim。PoorBriss!poorBriss!——IamnotevennowsurethatIdidn’tfirstmeethimbyTHATirrepressiblemurmur。Itwasinitallformethat,thus,atmidnight,hehadtraversedonhiserrandthelengthofthegreatdarkhouse。Itrodwithhim,overthevelvetandthemarble,throughthetwistsandturns,amongthegloomsandglimmersandechoes,everyinchoftheway,andIdon’tknowwhathumiliation,forhim,wasconstitutedthere,betweenus,byhislongpilgrimage。Itwasthefinalexpressionofhissacrifice。 \"Mywifehassomethingtosaytoyou。\" \"Mrs。Briss?Good!\"——andIcouldonlyhopethecandourofmysurprisewasallItriedtomakeit。\"Isshewithyouthere?\" \"No,butshehasaskedmetosaytoyouthatifyou’llpresentlybeinthedrawing—roomshe’llcome。\" Whocoulddoubt,asIlaidmyhandonhisshoulder,fairlypattingit,inspiteofmyself,forapplause——whocoulddoubtwhereIwouldpresentlybe?\"It’smostuncommonlygoodofbothofyou。\" Therewassomethinginhisinscrutableservicethat,makinghimalmostaugust,gavemydissimulatedeagernessthesoundofaheartlesscompliment。 Istoodforthehollowchatterofthevulgarworld,andhe——oh,hewasasseriousashewasconscious;whichwasenough。\"Shesaysyou’llknowwhatshewishes——andshewassureI’dfindyouhere。SoImaytellheryou’llcome?\" Hiscourtesyhalfbrokemyheart。\"Why,mydearman,withallthepleasure——! Somanythousandthanks。I’llbewithher。\" \"ThankstoYOU。She’llbedown。Good—night。\"Helookedroundtheroom——atthetwoorthreeclustersofmen,smoking,engaged,contented,ontheireasyseatsandamongtheirpoppedcorks;helookedoveraninstantatFordObert,whoseeyes,Ithought,hemomentarilyheld。Itwasabsolutelyasif,forme,hewereseekingsuchthings——outofwhatwasclosingoverhim——forthelasttime。Thenheturnedagaintothedoor,which,justnottofailhumanlytoaccompanyhimastep,Ihadopened。OntheothersideofitItookleaveofhim。Thepassage,thoughtherewasalightinthedistance,wasdarkerthanthesmoking—room,andIhaddrawnthedoorto。 \"Good—night,Brissenden。Ishallbegonetomorrowbeforeyoushow。\" Ishallneverforgetthewaythat,struckbymyword,helethiswhitefacefixmeinthedusk。\"’Show’?WHATdoIshow?\" Ihadtakenhishandforfarewell,and,inevitablylaughing,butasthefalsestofnotes,Igaveitashake。\"Youshownothing!You’remagnificent。\" Heletmekeephishandwhilethingsunspokenanduntouched,unspeakableanduntouchable,everythingthathadbeenbetweenusinthewoodafewhoursbefore,werebetweenusagain。Butsowecouldonlyleavethem,and,withashort,sharp\"Good—bye!\"hecompletelyreleasedhimself。WithmyhandonthelatchofthecloseddoorIwatchedaminutehisretreatalongthepassage,andIrememberthereflectionthat,beforerejoiningObert,Imadeonit。Iseemedperpetually,atNewmarch,tobetakinghismeasurefrombehind。 FordOberthassincetoldmethatwhenIcamebacktohimthereweretearsinmyeyes,andIdidn’tknowatthemomenthowmuchthewordswithwhichhemetmetookforgrantedmyconsciousnessofthem。\"Helooksahundredyearsold!\" \"Oh,butyoushouldseehisshoulders,always,ashegoesoff!TWOcenturies——ten! Isn’titamazing?\" Itwassoamazingthat,foralittle,itmadeusreciprocallystare。 \"Ishouldhavethought,\"hesaid,\"thathewouldhavebeenonthecontrary——\" \"Visiblyrejuvenated?SoshouldI。Imustmakeitout,\"Iadded。\"I SHALL。\" ButObert,withlesstogoupon,couldn’twait。Itwaswonderful,forthatmatter——andforallIhadtogoupon——howImyselfcould。Ididso,atthismoment,inmyrefreshedintensity,bythehelpofconfusedlylightinganothercigarette,whichIshouldhavenotimetosmoke。\"Ishouldhavethought,\"myfriendcontinued,\"thathetoomighthavechangedback。\" Itookin,formyself,somuchmoreofitthanIcouldsay!\"Certainly。 Youwouldn’thavethoughthewouldhavechangedforward。\"ThenwithanimpulsethatbridgedoveranabyssofconnectionsIjumpedtoanotherplace。 \"WaswhatyoumostsawwhileyouweretherewithHER——wasthisthathermisery,themiseryyoufirstphrasedtome,hasdropped?\" \"Dropped,yes。\"Hewasclearaboutit。\"IcalledherbeastlyunhappytoyouthoughIeventhenknewthatbeastlyunhappinesswasn’tquiteallofit。Itwaspartofit,itwasenoughofit;forshewas——well,nodoubtyoucouldtellME。Justnow,atallevents\"——andrecalling,reflecting,deciding,heused,withthestrongesteffect,ashesooftendidinpainting,thesimplestterm——\"justnowshe’sallright。\" \"Allright?\" Hecouldn’tknowhowmuchmorethanwaspossiblemyquestiongavehimtoanswer。Butheanswereditonwhathehad;herepeated:\"Allright。\" Iwondered,inspiteofthecomfortItook,asIhadmorethanonceinlifehadoccasiontotakeitbefore,atthesightofthepainter—sensedeeplyapplied。MywondercamefromthefactthatLadyJohnhadalsofoundMrs。Serverallright,andLadyJohnhadavisionasclosedasObert’swasopen。Itdidn’tsuitmybookforboththeseobserverstohavebeenaffectedinthesameway。\"Youmeanyousawnothingwhateverinherthatwastheleastbitstrange?\" \"Oh,Iwon’tsayasmuchasthat。ButnothingthatwasmorestrangethanthatsheSHOULDbe——well,afterall,allright。\" \"Allthere,eh?\"Iafteraninstantrisked。 Icouldn’tputittohimmoredefinitelythanthat,thoughtherewasatemptationtotrytodoso。ForOberttohavefoundherallthereanhourortwoafterIhadfoundherallabsent,mademeagain,inmynervousness,feelevennowatriflemenaced。ThingsHAD,fromsteptostep,tohangtogether,andjustheretheyseemed——withallallowances——tohangalittleapart。Mywholesuperstructure,Icouldonlyremember,reareditselfonmyviewofMrs。Server’scondition;butitwaspartofmypredicament——reallyequalinitswaytoherown——thatIcouldn’twithoutdishonouringmyselfgivemyinterlocutorapracticallead。Thequestionofherhappinesswasessentiallysubordinate;whatIstoodorfellbywasthatofherfaculty。 ButIcouldn’t,ontheotherhand——andremain\"straight\"——insisttomyfriendonthewhereaboutsofthisstolenproperty。Ifhehadn’tmisseditinherforhimselfImightn’tputhimonthetrackofit;since,withthedemonstrationhehadbeforemyeyesreceivedoftherateatwhichLongwas,asonehadtocallit,intellectuallyliving,nothingwouldbemorenaturalthanthatheshouldmakethecasesfit。Nowmypersonalproblem,unalteredintheleastparticularbyanything,wasformetohaveworkedtotheendwithoutbreathinginanotherearthatLonghadbeenherlover。 Thatwastheonlythinginthewholebusinessthatwassimple。Itmademeclinganinstantthemore,bothforblissandbale,tothebearingofthisfactofObert’sinsistence。Evenasasequeltohisvisionofherchange,almosteverythingwaswrongforherbeingallrightexcepttheonefactofmyrecentview,fromthewindow,ofthemanunnamed。Isawhimagainsharplyintheseseconds,andtonoticehowhestillkeptclearofourcompanywasalmosttoaddcertitudetothepresumptionofhisrarereasons。Mrs。Server’sbeingnow,byawonderfulturn,allrightwouldatleastdecidedlyoffertothesereasonsabasis。ItwouldbesomethingLong’sabsencewouldfit。Itwouldsupplyground,inshort,forthepossibilitythat,byaprocessnotlesswonderful,hehimselfwasallwrong。IfheWASallwrongmylastimpressionofhimwouldbeamplyaccountedfor。Ifhewasallwrong——ifhe,inanycase,felthimselfgoingso——whatmoreconsequentthanthatheshouldhavewishedtohideit,andthatthemostimmediatewayforthisshouldhaveseemedtohim,markedlygregariousasheusuallywas,tokeepawayfromthesmokers?ItcametomeunspeakablythatheWASstillhidingitandWASkeepingaway。How,accordingly,musthenot——andmustnotMrs。Briss——havebeeninthespiritofthisfromthemomentthat,whileItalkedwithLadyJohn,thesightofthesetwoseatedtogetherhadgivenmeitsmessage!ButObert’sanswertomyguardedchallengehadmeanwhilecome。\"Oh,whenawoman’ssoclever——!\" Thatwasall,withitstouchofexperienceanditshintofphilosophy; butitwasstupefying。Shewasalreadythenpositivelyagain\"soclever?\" ThiswasreallymorethanIcouldasyetprovideanexplanationfor,butIwaspressed;Brissendenwouldhavereachedhiswife’sroomagain,andItemporised。\"ItwasherclevernessthatheldyousothatwhenIpassedyoucouldn’tlookatme?\" Helookedatmeatpresentwellenough。\"Iknewyouwerepassing,butIwantedpreciselytomarkforyouthedifference。Ifyoureallywanttoknow,\"thepoormanconfessed,\"Iwasalittleashamedofmyself。Ihadgivenherawaytoyou,youknow,rather,before。\" \"Andyouwereboundyouwouldn’tdoitagain?\" Hesmiledinhisnowcompletecandour。\"Ah,therewasnoreason。\"Thenheused,happily,torighthimself,myownexpression。\"Shewasallthere。\" \"Isee——Isee。\"YetIreallydidn’tseeenoughnottohaveforaninstanttoturnaway。 \"Whereareyougoing?\"heasked。 \"TodowhatBrissendencametomefor。\" \"ButIdon’tKNOW,yousee,whatBrissendencametoyoufor。\" \"Well,withamessage。Shewastohaveseenmethisevening,but,asshegavemenochance,IwasafraidIhadlostitandthat,soratherawkwardlylate,shedidn’tventure。Butwhathearrivedforjustnow,atherrequest,wastosayshedoesventure。\" Mycompanionstared。\"Atthisextraordinaryhour?\" \"Ah,thehour,\"Ilaughed,\"isnomoreextraordinarythananyotherpartofthebusiness:nomoreso,forinstance,thanthispresenttalkofyoursandmine。Whatpartofthebusinessisn’textraordinary?Ifitis,atallevents,remarkablylate,that’sHERfault。\" Yethenotunnaturally,inspiteofmyexplanation,continuedtowonder。 \"And——a——whereisitthenyoumeet?\" \"Oh,inthedrawing—roomorthehall。Sogood—night。\" Hegotuptoit,movingwithmetothedoor;buthismystification,littleasIcould,onthewhole,sootheit,stillkeptme。\"Thehouseholdsitsupforyou?\" Iwonderedmyself,butfoundanassurance。\"Shemusthavesquaredthehousehold!Anditwon’tprobablytakeusverylong。\" Hismystificationfranklyconfesseditself,atthis,plaincuriosity。 Thegroundofsuchaconference,forallthepointIhadgivenhisingenuity,simplybaffledhim。\"Doyoumeanyouproposetodiscusswithher——?\" \"Mydearfellow,\"Ismiledwithmyhandonthedoor,\"it’sSHE——don’tyousee?——whoproposes。\" \"Butwhatintheworld——?\" \"Oh,THATIshallhavetowaittotellyou。\" \"Withalltheotherthings?\"Hisface,whilehesoundedmine,seemedtosaythatImustthentakehisexpectationasserious。Butitseemedtosayalsothathewas——definitely,yes——moreatalossthanconsortedwithbeingquitesureofme。\"Well,itwillmakealot,really——!\"Buthebrokeoff。\"Youdo,\"hesighedwithaneffortatresignation,\"knowmorethanI!\" \"Andhaven’tIadmittedthat?\" \"I’llbehangedifyouDON’Tknowwhoheis!\"thepoorfellow,forallanswer,nowproduced。 HesaiditasifIhad,afterall,notbeenplayingfair,anditmademeforaninstanthesitate。\"No,Ireallydon’tknow。Butit’sexactlywhatIshallperhapsnowlearn。\" \"YoumeanthatwhatshehasproposedistoTELLyou?\" HisdarknesshadsodeepenedthatIsawonlynowwhatIshouldhaveseensooner——themisconceptionthat,inmyexcessiveestimateofthedistancehehadcomewithme,Ihadnotatfirstcaught。Butitwasamisconceptionthatonlyenrichedhistestimony;itinvolvedsuchaconvictionofthenewlinkbetweenourtwosacrificedfriendsthatitimmediatelyconstitutedformethestrongestlighthewould,inourwholetalk,havethrown。Yes,hehadnotyetthrownsomuchasinthiserroneoussuppositionofthesourceofmysummons。Ittookmeofcourse,atthesametime,butafewsecondstoremindmyselfagainoftheinnumerablestepshehadnecessarilymissed。 Hisquestionmeanwhile,rightlyappliedbymyownthought,broughtbacktothatthought,bywayofanswer,animmensesuggestion,whichmoreover,forhimtoo,wastemporarilyanswerenough。\"She’lltellmewhoheWON’T havebeen!\" Helookedvague。\"Ah,butTHAT——\" \"That,\"Ideclared,\"willbeluminous。\" Hemadeitout。\"Asasign,youthink,thathemustbetheveryoneshedenies?\" \"Theveryone!\"Ilaughed;andIlefthimunderthissimpleandsecureimpressionthatmyappointmentwaswithMrs。Server。 Chapter12 Iwentfromoneroomtotheother,buttofindonly,atfirst,asonmypreviouscircuit,adesertonwhichthesunhadstillnotset。Mrs。 Brissendenwasnowhere,butthewholeplacewaitedaswehadleftit,withseatsdisplacedandflowersdispetalled,afanforgottenonatable,abooklaiddownuponachair。ItcameovermeasIlookedaboutthatifsheHAD\"squared\"thehousehold,solargeanorder,astheysaid,wasasignsufficientofwhatIwastohavefromher。Ihadquiteratheritwereherdoing——notmine;butitshowedwitheloquencethatshehadafteralljudgedsomeeffortorothertobeworthherwhile。Herreneweddelaymoreoveraddedtomyimpatienceofmindinrespecttothenatureofthiseffortbystrikingmeasalreadypartofit。What,Iaskedmyself,couldbesomuchworthherwhileastohavetobepaidforbysomuchapparentreluctance? ButatlastIsawherthroughavistaofopendoors,andasIforthwithwenttoher——shetooknosteptomeetme——Iwasdoubtlessimpressedafreshwiththe\"pull\"thatinsocialintercourseawomanalwayshas。Shewasabletoassumeonthespotbymereattitudeandairtheappearanceofhavingbeenreadyandthereforeinconvenienced。Oh,Isawsoonenoughthatshewasreadyandthatoneoftheformsofherreadinesswouldbepreciselytoofferherselfashavingactedentirelytoobligeme——togiveme,asasequeltowhathadalreadypassedbetweenus,theopportunityforwhichshehadassuredmeIshouldthankherbeforeIhaddonewithher。Yet,asIfeltsure,atthesametime,thatshehadtakenaline,Iwascuriousastohow,inherinterest,oursituationcouldbeworked。WhatithadoriginallyleftuswithwasherknowingIwaswrong。Ihadpromisedher,onmyhonour,tobecandid,butevenifIweredisposedtoceasetocontestheridentificationofMrs。ServerIwasscarcetobelookedtoforsuchanexhibitionofgratitudeasmightbeheldtorepayherforstayingsolongoutofbed。TherewereinshortelementsinthebusinessthatIcouldn’tquiteclearlyseehandledasfavourstome。Herdressgave,withfelicity,nosignwhateverofpreparationforthenight,andif,sinceourlastwords,shehadstoodwithanyanxietywhateverbeforeherglass,ithadnotbeentoremoveajewelortoaltertheplaceofaflower。Shewasasmuchunderarmsasshehadbeenondescendingtodinner——asfreshinherarrayasifthatbanquetwerestilltocome。Shemetmeinfactasadmirably——thatwasthetruththatcoveredeveryother——asifshehadbeenabletoguessthemostparticularcuriositywithwhich,frommyendoftheseriesofrooms,Iadvanceduponher。 Apartofthemixtureofmythoughtsduringthesesecondshadbeenthepossibility——absurd,preposterousthoughitlookswhenphrasedhere——ofsomechangeinherpersonthatwouldcorrespond,formetotheotherchangesIhadhadsuchkeenmomentsofflatteringmyselfIhadmadeout。Ihadjusthadthemoverinthesmoking—room,someofthesedifferences,andthenhadhadtimetoaskmyselfifIwerenotnowtobetreatedtothevisionofthegreatest,themostwonderful,ofall。Ihadalready,onfacingher,aftermylastmomentswithLadyJohn,seendifferencepeepoutatme,andIhadseentheimpressionofitconfirmedbywhathadafterwardshappened。Ithadbeeninherwayofturningfrommeafterthatbriefpassage; ithadbeeninhergoinguptobedwithoutseeingmeagain;ithadbeenoncemoreinherthinking,forreasonsofherown,betterofthat;andithadbeenmostofallinhersendingherhusbanddowntome。Well,wouldn’titfinallybe,stillmorethanmostofall——?ButIscarcehadknown,atthispoint,whatgrossnessorwhatfinenessofmaterialcorrespondencetoforecast。Ionlyhadwaitedtherewiththesegeneralsymptomssopresentthatalmostanyfurtherdevelopmentofthemoccurredtomeasconceivable。 Somuchasthiswastrue,butIwasafteramomenttobecomeawareofsomethingbywhichIwasasstronglyaffectedasifIhadbeenquiteunprepared。 Yes,literally,thatfinalnote,inthesmoking—room,thenotestruckinObert’sejaculationonpoorBriss’shundredyears,hadfailedtoachieveformeaworthyimplication。Iwasforced,afterlookingatGraceBrissendenaminute,torecognisethatmyimaginationhadnotrisentoitsopportunity。 Thefullimpressiontookaminute——aminuteduringwhichshesaidnothing; thenitleftmedeeplyandaboveall,asIfelt,discerniblyconsciousoftheprodigiousthing,thething,Ihadnotthoughtof。Thisitwasthatgavehersuchabeautifulchancenottospeak:shewassoquitesufficientlyoccupiedwithseeingwhatIhadn’tthoughtof,andwithseeingme,tomakeupforlosttime,breathlesslythinkofitwhileshewatchedme。 AllIhadatfirsttakeninwas,asIsay,heruntouchedsplendour; Idon’tknowwhythatshouldhaveimpressedme——asifithadbeenprobableshewouldhaveappearedinherdressing—gown;itwastheonlythingtohaveexpected。Anditinfactplumedandenhancedherassurance,sustainedherpropriety,lentourbelatedinterviewthenaturalandcasualnote。 Buttherewasanotherserviceitstillmorerenderedher:itsocovered,atthefirstblush,therealmessageofheraspect,thatsheenjoyedtheluxury——andIfeltherenjoyit——ofseeingmyperceptioninarrest。Amazing,whenIthinkofit,thenumberofthingsthatoccurredinthesestayedsecondsofoursilence;buttheyareperhapsbestrepresentedbythetwomostmarkedintensitiesofmyownsensation:thefirstthecertitudethatshehadatnomomentsincehermarriagesotriumphantlyassertedherdefeatoftime,andthesecondtheconvictionthatI,losingwithherwhile,asitwere,weclosed,acertainadvantageIshouldneverrecover,hadatnomomentsincethedaybeforemadesopoorafigureonmyownground。 Ah,itmayhavebeenonlyforsixsecondsthatshecaughtmegapingatherrenewedbeauty;butsixseconds,itwasinevitabletofeel,werequiteenoughforeverypurposewithwhichshehadcomedowntome。Shemighthavebeenalarge,fair,rich,prosperouspersonoftwenty—five;shewasatanyratenearenoughtoittoputmeforeverinmyplace。Itwasasuccess,onherpart,that,thoughIcouldn’tasyetfullymeasureit,therecouldbenodoubtofwhatever,anymorethanofmysomehowpayingforit。Herbeingthereatall,atsuchanhour,insuchconditions,became,eachmoment,onthewholebusiness,moreandmoreapartofheradvantage; thecaseforherwasreallyinalmostanyaspectshecouldnowmakeitweartomyimagination。Mywealthofthatfaculty,neversostimulated,wasthus,inamanner,herstrength;bywhichImeantheimpossibilityofmyindifferencetothemereimmensesuggestivenessofourcircumstances。 HowcanItellnowtowhattunethesenseofalltheseplayedintomymind?——thehugeoddityofthenamelessideaonwhichweforegathered,theabsenceandhushofeverythingexceptthatidea,somagnifiedinconsequenceandyetstill,afterall,altogetherfantastic。Thereremainedforher,therespokeforhertoo,hervividly\"unconventional\"step,thebraveryofherrustling,onanunderstandingsodifficulttogiveanaccountof,throughplacesandtimesonlymadesafebythesleepoftheunsuspecting。Myimagination,inshort,sinceIhavespokenofit,couldn’tdootherthanworkforherfromthemomentshehad,sosimplyyetsowonderfully,notfailedme。Thereforeitwasallwithmeagain,thevisionofherreasons。Theywereinfactsufficientlyinthesoundofwhatshepresentlysaid。\"Perhapsyoudon’tknow——butImentionedintheproperquarterthatIshouldsitupalittle。 They’reofakindnesshere,luckily——!Soit’sallright。\"Itwasallright,obviously——shemadeitso;butshemadeitsoaswellthat,inspiteofthesplendoursheshowedme,sheshouldbealittlenervous。\"Weshallonlytakemoreover,\"sheadded,\"aminute。\" IshouldperhapshavewonderedmorewhatsheproposedtodoinaminutehadInotfeltitasalreadymoreorlessdone。Yes,shemighthavebeentwenty—five,anditwasashorttimeforTHATtohavetaken。However,whatIclutchedat,whatIclungto,wasthatitwasanervoustwenty—five。 Imightpayforherassurance,butwasn’ttheresomethingofmineforwhichSHEmightpay?Iwasnervousalso,but,asItookinagain,withaglancethroughourgreatchainofchambers,thewonderfulconditionsthatprotectedus,IdidmybesttofeelsurethatitwasonlybecauseIwassoamused。 That——insohighaform——waswhatitcametointheend。\"Isupposed,\" Ireplied,\"thatyou’dhavearranged;for,inspiteofthewaythingsweregoing,Ihadn’tgivenyouup。Ihaven’tunderstood,Iconfess,\"Iwenton,\"whyyou’vepreferredaconferencesointenselynocturnal——ofwhichIquitefeel,however,that,ifithashappenedtosuityou,itisn’tformetocomplain。ButIfeltsureofyou——thatwasthegreatthing——fromthemoment,halfanhourago,yousokindlyspoketome。Igaveyou,yousee,\"Ilaughed,\"what’scalled’rope。’\" \"Idon’tsupposeyoumean,\"sheexclaimed,\"formetohangmyself!——forthat,Iassureyou,isnotatallwhatI’mpreparedfor。\"Thensheseemedagaintogivemethemagnificenceofheryouth。Itwasn’t,throughout,Iwastofeel,thatsheatallhadabyssesofirony,forsheinfacthappilyneedednone。Hertriumphwasinitselfironicenough,andallherpointinhersenseofherfreshness。\"Wereyoureallysoimpatient?\"ButasI inevitablyhungfirealittleshecontinuedbeforeIcouldanswer;whichsomewhathelpedmeindeedbyshowingtheoneflawinherconfidence。Moreextraordinaryperhapsthananythingelse,moreover,wasjustmyperceptionofthis;whichgivesthevalueofallthateachofussovisiblyfelttheothertohaveputtogether,tohavebeenmakingoutandgatheringin,sinceweparted,ontheterrace,afterseeingMrs。ServerandBrisscomeupfromundertheirtree。WeHAD,ofatruth,arrivedatourresults——thoughminewerenaturallytheonesformetobelievein;anditwasprodigiousthatweopenlymetnotatallwherewehadlastlefteachother,butexactlyonwhatoursubsequentsuppressedprocesseshadachieved。Wehadn’tnamedthem——hadn’talludedtothem,andwecouldn’t,nodoubt,havedoneeither; buttheywerenonethelessintenselytherebetweenus,withthewholebright,emptyscenegivenuptothem。Onlyshehadhershrewdsensethatmine,forreasons,mighthavebeenstillmoreoccultthanherown。Hadn’tIpossiblyburrowedthedeeper——tocomeoutinsomeuncalculatedplacebehindherback?Thatwastheflawinherconfidence。Shehadinspiteofitherfirmground,andIcouldfeel,todoherjustice,howdifferentacomplacencyitwasfromsuchsmugignoranceasLadyJohn’s。IfIdidn’tfeartoseemtodrivelaboutmyownknowledgeIshouldsaythatshehad,inadditiontoalltherestofher\"pull,\"thebenefitofstrikingmeasworthyofme。ShewasINthemysticcircle——notoneofusmore;sheknewthesizeofit;anditwasournowbeinginitalonetogether,witheveryoneelseoutandwiththesizegreaterthanithadyetbeenatall——itwasthisthatgavethehour,infine,sosharpastamp。 Butshehadmeanwhiletakenupmyallusiontoherhavingpreferredsotowait。\"Iwantedtoseeyouquietly;whichwaswhatItried——notaltogethersuccessfully,itratherstruckmeatthemoment——tomakeyouunderstandwhenIletyouknowaboutit。YoustaredsothatIdidn’tquiteknowwhatwasthematter。Nothingcouldbequiet,Isaw,tillthegoingtobedwasover,andIfeltitcomingoffthenfromoneminutetotheother。Ididn’twishpubliclytobecalledawayforitfromthisputtingofourheadstogether,and,thoughyoumaythinkmeabsurd,IhadadisliketohavingourquestionofMayupsolongasshewashangingabout。Iknewofcoursethatshewouldhangabouttilltheverylastmoment,andthatwaswhatIperhapsalittleclumsily——ifitwasmyownfault!——madetheefforttoconveytoyou。Shemaybehangingaboutstill,\"Mrs。Brisscontinued,withherlargerlookround——herlooksroundwerenowimmense;\"butatanyrateIshallhavedonewhatIcould。Ihadafeeling——perfectlypreposterous,Iadmit!——againstherseeingustogether;butifshecomesdownagain,asI’vesoboldlydone,andfindsus,she’llhavenoonebutherselftothank。It’safunnyhouse,forthatmatter,\"myfriendrambledon,\"andI’mnotsurethatanyoneHASgonetobed。Onedoeswhatonelikes;I’manoldwoman,atanyrate,andido!\"Sheexplainednow,sheexplainedtoomuch,sheabounded,talkingherselfstoutlyintoanyassurancethatfailedher。Ihadmeanwhilewitheverywordsheutteredasharpersenseofthepressure,behindthemall,ofanewconsciousness。Itwasfullofeverythingshedidn’tsay,andwhatshesaidwasnorepresentationwhateverofwhatwasmostinhermind。Wehadindeedtakenajumpsincenoon——wehadindeedcomeoutfurtheron。