第13章

类别:其他 作者:Henry, Jr.James字数:12038更新时间:19/01/07 14:51:50
Justthisfinedishonestyofhereyes,moreover——thelightofaparttoplay,theexcitement(heavenknowswhatitstruckmeasbeing!)ofahappyduplicity——maywellhavebeenwhatcontributedmosttoherpresentgrandair。 Itwasinanycasewhatevokedformemostthecontrastedimage,sofreshwithme,oftheother,thetragiclady——theimagethathadsoembodiedtheunutterableoppositeofeverythingactuallybeforeme。Whatwasactuallybeforemewasthepositiveprideoflifeandexpansion,theamplitudeofconsciousactionanddesign;notthearidchannelforsakenbythestream,butthefull—fedriversweepingtothesea,thevolumeofwater,thestatelycurrent,thefloodedbanksintowhichthesourcehadswelled。TherewasnothingMrs。Serverhadbeenabletorisk,buttherewasarichindifferencetoriskinthemerecarriageofGraceBrissenden’shead。Herreference,forthatmatter,toourdiscussedsubjecthadtheeffectofrelegatingtotherealmofdimshadestheladyrepresentingit,andtherewassmallsoundnessinherglanceatthepossibilityonthepartofthispersonofananxiousprowlback。Therewasindeed——therecouldbe——smallsincerityinanyimmediatedemonstrationfromawomansomarkedlygainingtimeandgettingheradvantagesinhand。Theconnectionsbetweenthetwo,certainly,wereindirectandintricate,butitwaspositivetomethat,forthespiritualear,mycompanion’swordshadthesoundofahardbump,acontactfromtheforceofwhichtheweakervesselmighthavebeenfelttocrack。Atlast,mercifulpowers,itwasinpieces!Theshockofthebrasshadtoldupontheporcelain,andIfanciedmyselfforaninstantfacingMrs。Brissoverthedamage——adamagefromwhichIwasnever,asIknew,toseethepoorbanishedghostrecover。Asstrangeasanythingwasthiseffectalmostofsurpriseformeinthefreedomofhermentionof\"May。\"Forwhathadshecometome,ifforanything,buttoinsistonherviewofMay,andwhataccordinglywasmoretothepointthantomentionher?Yetitwasalmostalreadyasiftomentionherhadbeentogetridofher。Shewasmentioned,however,inevitablyandnonethelesspromptly,anew——evenasifsimplytoreceiveafinalshakebeforebeingquitedropped。Myfriendkeptitup。\"IfyouweresobentonnotlosingwhatImighthavetogiveyouthatyoufortunatelystucktotheship,forpoorBrisstopickyouup,wasn’tthisalso\"——sheroundlyputittome——\"agooddealbecauseyou’vebeennursingalldaythegrievancewithwhichIthismorningsocomfortablyfurnishedyou?\" Ijustwaited,butfairlyforadmiration。\"Oh,Icertainlyhadmyreasons——asI’venolesscertainlyhadmyluck——fornotindeeddesertingourdearlittlebattered,butstilljustsufficientlybuoyantvessel,fromwhicheveryoneelseappears,Irecognise;tos’etresauve。She’llfloatafewminutesmore!But(beforeshesinks!)doyoumeanbymygrievance——\" \"Oh,youknowwhatImeanbyyourgrievance!\"SHEhadnointention,Mrs。Briss,ofsinking。\"IwastogiveyoutimetomakeupyourmindthatMrs。Serverwasourlady。Yousoresented,forsomereason,mysuggestingitthatIscarcelybelievedyou’dconsideritatall;onlyIhadn’tforgotten,whenIspoketoyouawhilesince,thatyouhadneverthelesshandsomelypromisedmethatyouwoulddoyourbest。\" \"Yes,and,stillmorehandsomely,thatifIchangedmymind,Iwouldeat,inyourpresence,formyerror,thelargestpossiblesliceofhumblepie。Ifyoudidn’tseethismorning,\"Icontinued,\"quitewhyIshouldhavecaredsomuch,soIdon’tquiteseewhy,inyourdifferentway,youshould;atthesametimethatIdofulljusticetothegoodfaithwithwhichyou’vegivenmemychance。PleasebelievethatifICOULDcandidlyembracethatchanceIshouldfeelallthejoyintheworldinrepayingyou。It’sonly,alas!becauseIclingtomycandourthatIventuretodisappointyou。IfIcaredthismorningitwasreallysimpleenough。Youdidn’tconvinceme,butIshouldhavecaredjustasmuchifyouhad。Ionlydidn’tseewhatyousaw。Ineededmorethanyoucouldthengiveme。Iknew,yousee,whatIneeded——ImeanbeforeIstruck!Itwastheelementofcollateralsupportthatwebothlacked。Icouldn’tdowithoutitasyoucould。ThiswaswhatI,clumsilyenough,triedtoshowyouIfelt。You,onyourside,\" Ipursued,\"graspedadmirablytheevidenttruththatthatelementCOULD bepresentonlyinsuchdosesaspracticallytoescapedetection。\"Ikeptitupasshehaddone,andIrememberstrikingmyselfasscarcelessexcitedlyvoluble。IwasconsciousofbeingatapointatwhichIshouldhavetogostraight,togofast,togoit,asthephraseis,blind,inordertogoatall。Iwasalsoconscious——anditcamefromthelookwithwhichshelistenedtomeandthattoldmemorethanshewished——Ifeltsharply,thoughbutinstinctively,infine,thatIshouldstill,whateverIpracticallyhadlost,makemypersonalexperiencemostrichandmostcompletebyputtingitdefinitelytoherthat,sorryasImightbenottoobligeher,Ihad,evenatthishour,nosubmissiontomake。IdoubtedinfactwhethermymakingoneWOULDhaveobligedher;butIfeltthat,forallsomuchhadcomeandgone,Iwasnottheretotake,forherpossibleprofit,anynewtonewithher。Shewouldsufficientlyprofit,attheworst,bytheold。 Myoldmotive——oldwiththeprodigiousantiquitythefewhourshadgivenit——hadquiteleftme;Iseemedtomyselftoknowlittlenowofmydesireto\"protect\"Mrs。Server。Shewascertainly,withMrs。Brissatleast,pastallprotection;andtheconvictionhadgrownwithme,inthesefewminutes,thattherewasnownoragofthequeertruththatMrs。Brisshadn’tsecretly——bywhichImeantmorally——handled。ButInonetheless,onaperfectlysimplereasoning,stoodtomyguns,andwithnosensewhatever,Imustadd,ofnowbreakingmyvowofthemorning。Ihadmadeanothervowsincethen——madeittothepoorladyherselfaswesattogetherinthewood;passedmywordtoHERthattherewasnoapproximationIpretendedeventomyselftohavemade。HowthenwasItopretendtoMrs。Briss,andwhatfactsHADIcollectedonwhichIcouldrespectablygroundanacknowledgmenttoherthatIhadcomeroundtoherbelief?IfIhad\"caught\"ourincriminatedpairtogether——reallytogether——evenforthreeminutes,Iwould,Isincerelyconsidered,havecomeround。ButIwastohaveperformedthisrevolutiononnothingless,asInowwentontoexplaintoher。\"Ofcourseifyou’vegotnewevidenceIshallbedelightedtohearit;andofcourseIcan’thelpwonderingwhetherthepossessionofitandthedesiretooverwhelmmewithitaren’t,together,theonethingyou’vebeennursingtillnow。\" Oh,howintenselyshedidn’tlikesuchatone!Ifshehadn’tlookedsohandsomeIwouldsayshemadeawryfaceoverit,thoughIdidn’tevenyetseewhereherdislikewouldmakehercomeout。Beforeshecameout,infact,shewaitedasifitwereaquestionofdashingherheadatawall。 Then,atlast,shecharged。\"It’snonsense。I’venothingtotellyou。I feelthere’snothinginitandI’vegivenitup。\" Ialmostgaped——bywhichImeanthatIlookedasifIdid——forsurprise。 \"Youagreethatit’snotshe——?\"Then,assheagainwaited,\"It’sYOUwho’vecomeround?\"Iinsisted。 \"ToyourdoubtofitsbeingMay?Yes——I’vecomeround。\" \"Ah,pardonme,\"Ireturned;\"whatIexpressedthismorningwas,ifIrememberrightly,notatalla’doubt,’butapositive,intimateconvictionthatwasinconsistentwithANYdoubt。Iwasemphatic——purelyandsimply——thatIdidn’tseeit。\" Shelooked,however,asifshecaughtmeinaweaknesshere。\"Thenwhydidyousaytomethatifyoushouldreconsider——\" \"Youshouldhandsomelyhaveitfromme,andmygrounds?Why,asI’vejustremindedyou,asaformofcourtesytoyou——magnanimouslytohelpyou,asitwere,tofeelascomfortableasIconceivedyounaturallywoulddesiretofeelinyourownconviction。Onlyforthat。Andnow,\"Ismiled,\"I’mtounderstandfromyouthat,inspiteofthatimmenseallowance,youHAVEN’T,allthiswhile,feltcomfortable?\" Shegave,onthis,inawonderful,beautifulway,aslow,simplifyingheadshake。\"Mrs。Serverisn’tinit!\" Theonlywaythentotakeitfromherwasthatherconcessionwasapreludetosomethingstillbetter;andwhenIhadgivenhertimetoseethisdawnuponmeIhadmyeagernessandIjumpedintothebreathless。 \"You’vemadeoutthenwhoIS?\" \"Oh,Idon’tmakeout,youknow,\"shelaughed,\"somuchasyou!SHE isn’t,\"shesimplyrepeated。 Ilookedatit,onmyinspiration,quiteruefully——almostasifInowwished,afterall,shewere。\"Ah,but,doyouknow?itreallystrikesmeyoumakeoutmarvels。YoumadeoutthismorningquitewhatIcouldn’t。 Ihadn’tputtogetheranythingsoextraordinaryasthat——inthetotalabsenceofeverything——itSHOULDhavebeenourfriend。\" Mrs。Brissappeared,onherside,totakeintheintentionofthis。 \"Whatdoyoumeanbythetotalabsence?WhenImademymistake,\"shedeclaredasifintheinterestofherdignity,\"Ididn’tthinkeverythingabsent。\" \"Isee,\"Iadmitted。\"Isee,\"Ithoughtfullyrepeated。\"Anddoyou,then,thinkeverythingnow?\" \"Ihadmyhonestimpressionofthemoment,\"shepursuedasifshehadnotheardme。\"Therewereappearancesthat,asitatthetimestruckme,fitted。\" \"Precisely\"——andIrecalledforhertheoneshehadmademostof。\"TherewasinespecialtheappearancethatshewasataparticularmomentusingBrissendentoshowwhomshewasnotusing。YoufeltTHEN,\"Iventuredtoobserve,\"theforceofthat。\" Iventuredlessthan,already,Ishouldhavelikedtoventure;yetI nonethelessseemedtoseehertryonmetheeffectoftheintimationthatIwasgoingfar。\"Isityourwish,\"sheinquiredwithmuchnobleness,\"toconfrontme,tomyconfusion,withmyinconsistency?\"Hernoblenessoffereditselfsomehowassucharebuketomymerelogicthat,inmymomentaryirritation,Imighthavebeenonthepointofassentingtoherquestion。 Thisimminenceofmyassent,justifiedbymyhorrorofherhugeegotism,butjustifiedbynothingelseandprecipitatingeverything,seemedasmarkedforthesefewsecondsasifweeachhadoureyesonit。ButIsatsotightthatthedangerpassed,leavingmysilencetodowhatitcouldformymanners。 Sheproceededmeanwhiletoaddaveryhandsomeaccountofherown。\"YoushoulddomethejusticetorecognisehowlittleIneedhavespokenanotherwordtoyou,andhowlittle,also,thisamiableexplanationtoyouisintheinterestofone’snaturalpride。ItseemstomeI’vecometoyouherealtogetherintheinterestofYOURS。Youtalkabouthumblepie,butIthinkthat,uponmyword——withallI’vesaidtoyou——it’sIwhohavehadtoeatit。Themagnanimityyouspeakof,\"shecontinuedwithallhergrandeur——\"I reallydon’tsee,either,whoseitisbutmine。Idon’tseewhataccountofanythingI’minanywayobligedtogive。\" Igranteditquicklyandwithoutreserve。\"You’renotobligedtogiveany——you’requiteright:youdoitonlybecauseyou’resuchalarge,splendidcreature。Iquitefeelthat,besideyou\"——Idid,atleast,treatmyselftotheamusementofsaying——\"Imoveinatinycircle。Still,Iwon’thaveit\"——Icouldalso,again,keepitup——\"thatouroccasionhasnothingforyoubutthetasteofabasement。Yougulpyourmouthfuldown,buthasn’titbeenservedongoldplate?You’vehadamagnificentday——abrimmingcupoftriumph,andyou’remorebeautifulandfresh,afteritall,andatanhourwhenfatiguewouldbealmostpositivelygraceful,thanyouwereeventhismorning,whenyoumetmeasadaughterofthedawn。That’sthesortofsense,\"Ilaughed,\"thatmustsustainawoman!\"AndIwounduponacompleterecoveryofmygood—humour。\"No,no。Ithankyou——thankyouimmensely。ButIdon’tpityyou。Youcanaffordtolose。\"Iwantedherperplexity——thepropersharpdoseofit——toresultbothfromherknowingandhernotknowingsufficientlywhatImeant;andwhenIinfactsawhowperplexedshecouldbeandhowlittle,again,shecouldenjoyit,Ifeltanewmyprivatewonderatherhavingcaredanddaredtomeetme。WhereWASenjoyment,forher,wheretheinsolenceofsuccess,ifthebreathofironycouldchillthem?Why,sinceshewasbold,shouldshebesusceptible,andhow,sinceshewassusceptible,couldshebebold?Iscarceknowwhat,atthismoment,determinedthedivination;buteverything,thedistinctandthedimalike,hadclearedupthenextinstantatthetouchoftherealtruth。Thecertitudeofthesourceofmypresentopportunityhadrolledovermebeforeweexchangedanotherword。ThesourcewassimplyGilbertLong,andshewastherebecausehehaddirectedit。Thisconnectionhookeditself,likeasuddenpictureandwithaclickthatfairlyresoundedthroughouremptyrooms,intothearrayoftheotherconnections,totheimmenseenrichment,asitwaseasytofeel,oftheoccasion,andtotheimmenseconfirmationoftheveryideathat,inthecourseoftheevening,Ihadcomeneardismissingfrommymindastoofantasticevenfortherestofthecompanyitshouldenjoythere。WhatInowwassureofflashedback,atanyrate,everysyllableofsenseIcouldhavedesiredintothesuggestionIhad,afterthemusic,caughtfromthejuxtapositionofthesetwo。Thussolidified,thisconviction,itspreadandspreadtoadistancegreaterthanIcouldjustthentraverseunderMrs。Briss’seyes,butwhich,exactlyforthatreasonperhaps,quickenedmyprideinthekingdomofthoughtI hadwon。Iwasreallynottohavefeltmore,inthewholebusiness,thanIfeltatthismomentthatbymyownrighthandIhadgainedthekingdom。 Longandsheweretogether,andIwasalonethusinfaceofthem,buttherewasnonethelessnotasingleflowerofthegardenthatmywovenwreathshouldlack。 ImusthavelookedqueertomyfriendasIgrinnedtomyselfoverthisvow;butmyrelishofthewayIwaskeepingthingstogethermademeperhapsfortheinstantundulyrash。Icautionedmyself,however,fortunately,beforeitcouldleaveher——scaredalittle,allthesame,evenwithLongbehindher——anadvantagetotake,and,ininfinitelylesstimethanIhaveneededtotellit,Ihadachievedmyflightintoluminousetherand,alightinggracefullyonmyfeet,reportedmyselfatmypost。IhadinotherwordstakeninboththefullprodigyoftheententebetweenMrs。Server’sloverandpoorBriss’swife,andthefinerstrengthitgavethelast—namedastherepresentativeoftheirinterest。ImayaddtoothatIhadeventakentimefairlynottodecidewhichofthesetwobranchesofmyvision——thatofthetermsoftheirintercourse,orthatoftheirneedofit——waslikelytoprove,indelectableretrospect,themoreexquisite。Allthis,Iadmit,wasagooddealtohavecomeandgonewhilemyprivilegetrembled,initsveryessence,inthescale。Mrs。Brisshadbutabacktoturn,andeverythingwasover。Shehad,instrictness,alreadyutteredwhatsavedherhonour,andherrevengeonimpertinencemighteasilybeherwithdrawingwithoneofhersweeps。Icouldn’tcertainlyinthatcasehurryafterherwithoutspillingmycards。Asmyaccumulationsoflucidity,however,werenowsuchastodefyallleakage,Ipromptlyrecognisedthefacilitiesinvolvedinasuperficialsacrifice;andwithonemoreglanceatthebeautifulfactthatsheknewthestrengthofLong’shand,Iagainwentsteadilyandstraight。 Shewasactingnotonlyforherself,andsinceshehadanotheralsotoserveand,asIwassure,reportto,Ishouldsufficientlyholdher。I knewmoreoverthatIheldherassoonasIhadbegunafresh。\"Idon’tmeanthatanythingaltersthefactthatyoulosegracefully。ItISawfullycharming,yourthusgivingyourselfup,andyet,justifiedasIambyit,Ican’thelpregrettingalittletheexcitementIfounditthismorningtopulladifferentwayfromyou。ShallItellyou,\"itsuddenlycametometoputtoher,\"what,forsomereason,amanfeelsawareof?\"Andthenas,guarded,stilluneasy,shewouldcommitherselftonopermission:\"Thatpullingagainstyoualsohaditsthrill。Youdefendedyourcause。Oh,\" Iquicklyadded,\"Iknow——whoshouldknowbetter?——thatitwasbad。Only——whatshallIsay?——YOUweren’tbad,andonehadtofight。Andthentherewaswhatonewasfightingfor!Well,you’renotbadnow,either;sothatyoumayaskme,ofcourse,whatmoreIwant。\"Itriedtothinkamoment。\"Itisn’tthat,thrownbackonthecomparativedullnessofsecurity,Ifind——aspeoplehavebeenknownto——myowncauselessgood:no,itisn’tthat。\" AfterwhichIhadmyillumination。\"I’lltellyouwhatitis:it’sthecome—downofceasingtoworkwithyou!\" Shelookedasifshewerequiteexcusablefornotfollowingme。\"To’work’?\" Iimmediatelyexplained。\"Evenfightingwasworking,forwestruck,you’llremember,sparks,andsparkswerewhatwewanted。Therewearethen,\" Icheerfullywenton。\"Sparksarewhatwestillwant,andyou’venotcometome,Itrust,withamerespentmatch。Idependuponitthatyou’veanothertostrike。\"IshowedherwithoutfearallItookforgranted。\"Who,then,HAS?\" Shewassuperbinhercoldness,butherstarewaspartlyblank。\"Whothenhaswhat?\" \"Why,doneit。\"Andasevenatthisshedidn’tlightIgavehersomethingofajog。\"Youhaven’t,withtheforceofyourrevulsion,Ihope,literallylostourthread。\"Butas,inspiteofmythuswaitingforhertopickitupshedidnothing,Iofferedmyselfasfairlystoopingtothecarpetforitandputtingitbackinherhand。\"Donewhatwespentthemorningwonderingat。Whothen,ifitisn’t,certainly,Mrs。Server,ISthewomanwhohasmadeGilbertLong——well,whatyouknow?\" Ihadneededthemomenttotakeinthespecialshadeofinnocenceshewasbythistimepreparedtoshowme。Itwasaninnocence,inparticular,inrespecttotherelationofanyone,inallthevastimproprietyofthings,toanyone。\"I’mafraidIknownothing。\" Ireallywonderedaninstanthowshecouldexpecthelpfromsuchextravagance。 \"ButIthoughtyoujustrecognisedthatyoudoenjoythesenseofyourpardonablemistake。Youknewsomethingwhenyouknewenoughtoseeyouhadmadeit。\" Shefacedmeaswiththefrankperceptionthat,ofwhateverelseonemightbeaware,Iaboundedintraps,andthatthiswouldprobablybeoneofmyworst。\"Oh,Ithinkonegenerallyknowswhenonehasmadeamistake。\" \"That’sallthenIinviteyou——Amistake,asyouproperlycallit——toallowmetoimputetoyou。I’mnotaccusingyouofhavingmadefifty。Youmadenonewhatever,Ihold,whenyouagreedwithmewithsucheagernessaboutthestrikingchangeinhim。\" Sheaffectedmeasaskingherselfalittle,onthis,whethervagueness,thefailureofmemory,therejectionofnonsense,mightn’tstillserveher。Butshesawthenextmomentabetterway。Itallcamebacktoher,butfromsoveryfaroff。\"Thechange,doyoumean,inpoorMr。Long?\" \"Ofwhatotherchange——except,asyoumaysay,yourown——haveyoumetmeheretospeakof?Yourown,Ineedn’tremindyou,ispartandparcelofLong’s。\" \"Oh,myown,\"shepresentlyreturned,\"isamuchsimplermattereventhanthat。MyownistherecognitionthatIjustexpressedtoyouandthatIcan’tconsent,ifyouplease,toyourtwistingintotherecognitionofanythingelse。It’stherecognitionthatIknownothingofanyotherchange。 Istick,ifyou’llallowme,tomyignorance。\" \"I’llallowyouwithjoy,\"Ilaughed,\"ifyou’llletmesticktoitWITHyou。Yourownchangeisquitesufficient——itgivesusallweneed。 Itwillgiveus,ifweretracethestepsofit,everything,everything!\" Mrs。Brissconsidered。\"Idon’tquitesee,doI?why,atthishourofthenight,weshouldbegintoretracesteps。\" \"Simplybecauseit’sthehourofthenightyou’vehappened,inyourgenerosityandyourdiscretion,tochoose。I’mstruck,Iconfess,\"Ideclaredwithastillsharperconviction,\"withthewonderfulcharmofitforourpurpose。\" \"And,pray,whatdoyoucallwithsuchsolemnity,\"sheinquired,\"ourpurpose?\" Ihadfairlyrecoveredatlast——sofarfrombeingsolemn——anappropriategaiety。\"Icanonly,withpositiveness,answerformine!Thathasremainedalldaythesame——togetatthetruth:not,thatis,torelaxmygraspofthattipofthetailofitwhichyousohelpedmethismorningtofastento。Ifyou’veceasedtoCAREtohelpme,\"Ipursued,\"that’sadifferenceindeed。Butwhy,\"Icandidly,pleadinglyasked,\"SHOULDyouceasetocare?\" Itwasmoreandmoreofacomforttofeelherimprisonedinherinabilityreallytoexplainherbeingthere。Toshowherselfasshewasexplaineditonlysofarasshecouldexpressthat;whichwasjustthefreedomshecouldleasttake。\"Whatonearthisbetweenus,anyhow,\"Iinsisted,\"butourconfoundedinterest?That’sonlyquickened,forme,don’tyousee? bythecharmingwayyou’vecomeround;andIdon’tseehowitcanlogicallybeanythinglessthanquickenedforyourself。We’relikethemessengersandheraldsinthetaleofCinderella,andIprotest,Iassureyou,againstanysacrificeofourdenoument。We’vestilltheglassshoetofit。\" Itookpleasureatthemomentinmymetaphor;butthiswasnotthecase,Isoonenoughperceived,withmycompanion。\"HowcanItell,please,\"shedemanded,\"whatyouconsideryou’retalkingabout?\" Ismiled;itwassoquitethequestionFordObert,inthesmoking—room,hadbegunbyputtingme。Ihadn’ttotaketimetoremindmyselfhowIhaddealtwithHIM。\"Andyouknew,\"Isighed,\"sobeautifully,youglowedoveritso,thismorning!\"Shecontinuedtogiveme,ineveryway,herdisconnectionfromthismorning,sothatIhadonlytoproceed:\"You’venotavailedyourselfofthisoccasiontopretendtomethatpoorMr。Long,asyoucallhim,is,afterall,thesamelimitedperson——\" \"Thathealwayswas,andthatyou,yesterday,sosuddenlydiscoveredhimtohaveceasedtobe?\"——forwiththisshehadwakedup。Butshewasstillthinkinghowshecouldturnit。\"Youseetoomuch。\" \"Oh,IknowIdo——eversomuchtoomuch。AndmuchasIsee,Iexpressonlyhalfofit——soyoumayjudge!\"Ilaughed。\"Butwhatwillyouhave? IseewhatIsee,andthismorning,foragoodbit,youdidmethehonourtodothesame。Ireturned,also,thecompliment,didn’tI?byseeingsomethingofwhatYOUsaw。Weputit,thewholething,together,andweshookthebottlehard。I’mtotakefromyou,afterthis,\"Iwoundup,\"thatwhatitcontainsisaperfectlycolourlessfluid?\" Ipausedforareply,butitwasnottocomesohappilyasfromObert。 \"Youtalktoomuch!\"saidMrs。Briss。 Imetitwithamazement。\"Why,whomhaveItold?\" Ilookedathersohardwithitthathercolourbegantorise,whichmademepromptlyfeelthatshewouldn’tpressthatpoint。\"Imeanyou’recarriedaway——you’reabusedbyafinefancy:sothat,withyourartofputtingthings,onedoesn’tknowwhereoneis——nor,ifyou’llallowmetosayso,doIquitethinkYOUalwaysdo。OfcourseIdon’tdenyyou’reawfullyclever。Butyoubuildup,\"shebroughtoutwitharegretsoindulgentandareluctancesomarkedthatsheforsomesecondsfairlyheldtheblow——\"youbuilduphousesofcards。\" Ihadbeenimpatienttolearnwhat,and,frankly,Iwasdisappointed。 Thisbrokefromme,afteraninstant,doubtless,withabitternessnottobemistaken。\"LongISN’Twhatheseems?\" \"Seemstowhom?\"sheaskedsturdily。 \"Well,callit——forsimplicity——toME。Foryousee\"——andIspokeastoshowWHATitwastosee——\"itallstandsorfallsbythat。\" Theexplanationpresentlyappearedalittletohavesoftenedher。IfitallstoodorfellonlybyTHAT,itstoodorfellbysomethingthat,forhercomfort,mightbenotsounsuccessfullydisposedof。Sheexhaled,withtheswellofherfineperson,acomparativeblandness——seemedtoplaywiththeideaofasmile。Shehad,inshort,herownexplanation。\"Thetroublewithyouisthatyouover—estimatethepenetrationofothers。Howcanitapproachyourown?\" \"Well,yourshadforawhile,Ishouldsay,distinctmomentsofkeepingupwithit。Nothingismorepossible,\"Iwenton,\"thanthatIdotalktoomuch;butI’vedoneso——aboutthequestionindisputebetweenus——onlytoYOU。Ihaven’t,asIconceivedwewereabsolutelynottodo,mentionedittoanyoneelse,norgivenanyoneaglimpseofourdifference。Ifyou’venotunderstoodyourselfaspledgedtothesamereserve,andhaveconsequently,\" Iwenton,\"appealedtothelightofotherwisdom,itshowsatleastthat,inspiteofmyintellectualpace,youmustmoreorlesshavefollowedme。 WhatamINOT,infine,tothinkofyourintelligence,\"Iasked,\"if,decidingforaresorttoheadquarters,you’veputthequestiontoLonghimself?\" \"Thequestion?\"Shewasstraightouttoseaagain。 \"Oftheidentityofthelady。\" Sheslowly,atthis,headedabout。\"ToLonghimself?\" Chapter13 IhadfeltIcouldrisksuchdirectnessonlybymakingitextravagant——bysuggestingitasbarelyimaginablethatshecouldsohaveplayedourgame; andduringtheinstantforwhichIhadnowpulledherupIcouldjudgeIhadbeenright。Itwasaninstantthatsettledeverything,forIsawher,withintensity,withgallantrytoo,surprisedbutnotreallyembarrassed,recognisethatofcourseshemustsimplylie。Ihadbeenjustifiedbymakingitsopossibleforhertolie。\"Itwouldhavebeenashortcut,\"Isaid,\"andevenmorestrikinglyperhaps——todoitjustice——abolddeed。Butitwouldhavebeen,instrictness,adeparture——wouldn’tit?——fromoursodistinguishedlittlecompact。YetwhileIlookatyou,\"Iwenton,\"Iwonder。 Bolddeedsare,afterall,quiteinyourline;andI’mnotsureIdon’tratherwantnottohavemissedsomuchpossiblecomedy。’IhaveitforyoufromMr。Longhimselfthat,everyappearancetothecontrarynotwithstanding,hisstupidityisunimpaired’——isn’tthat,forthebeautyofit,afterall,whatyou’veveraciouslytogiveme?\"Westoodfacetofaceamoment,andIlaughedout。\"Thebeautyofitwouldbegreat!\" Ihadgivenhertime;Ihadseenhersafelytoshore。ItwasquitewhatIhadmeanttodo,butshenowtookstillbetteradvantagethanIhadexpectedofheropportunity。Shenotonlyscrambledupthebank,sherecoveredbreathandturnedround。\"Doyouimaginehewouldhavetoldme?\" Itwasmagnificent,butIfeltshewasstilltobetteritshouldIgiveheranewchance。\"Whotheladyreallyis?Well,hardly;andthat’swhy,asyousoacutelysee,thequestionofyourhavingriskedsuchastephasoccurredtomeonlyasajest。Fancyindeed\"——Ipileditup——\"yoursayingtohim:’We’reallnoticingthatyou’resomuchlessofanidiotthanyouusedtobe,andwe’vedifferentviewsofthemiracle’!\" Ihadbeengoingon,butIwascheckedwithoutawordfromher。Herlookalonediditfor,thoughitwasalookthatpartlyspoiledherlie,it——bythatveryfact——sufficedtomyconfidence。\"I’venotspokentoacreature。\" Itwasbeautifullysaid,butIfeltagaintheabyssesthatthemeresayingofitcovered,andthesenseofthesewonderfulthingswasnotalittle,nodoubt,inmyimmediatecheer。\"Ah,then,we’reallright!\"I couldhaverubbedmyhandsoverit。\"Imean,however,\"Iquicklyadded,\"onlyasfarasthat。Idon’tatallfeelcomfortableaboutyournewtheoryitself,whichputsmesowretchedlyinthewrong。\" \"Rather!\"saidMrs。Brissalmostgaily。\"Wretchedlyindeedinthewrong!\" \"Yetonly——equallyofcourse,\"Ireturnedafterabriefbrooding,\"ifIcomewithinaconceivabilityofacceptingit。Areyouconsciousthat,indefaultofLong’sownwordequivocalasthatwordwouldbe——youpressituponmewithouttheleastotherguarantee?\" \"Andpray,\"sheasked,\"whatguaranteehadYOU?\" \"Forthetheorywithwhichwestarted?Why,ourrecognisedfact。Thechangeintheman。Youmaysay,\"Ipursued,\"thatIwasthefirsttospeakforhim;butbeingthefirstdidn’t,inyourview,constituteaweaknesswhenitcametoyourspeakingyourselfforMrs。Server。BywhichImean,\" Iadded,\"speakingagainsther。\" Sheremembered,butnotformybenefit。\"Well,youthenaskedmemywarrant。AndasregardsMr。LongandyourspeakingagainstHIM——\" \"DoyoudescribewhatIsayas’against’him?\"Iimmediatelybrokein。 Ittookherbutaninstant。\"Surely——tohavemadehimouthorrid。\" Icouldonlywanttofixit。\"’Horrid’——?\"