\"Callitthen,ifyoudon’tliketheword,yoursympathy。\"
Ihadgivenhertime,however,toproduceatlastsomethingthat,itvisiblyoccurredtoher,mightpass。\"AssoonasIwasnotwithyou——I
meanwithyoupersonally——youNEVERhadmysympathy。\"
\"Ismypersonthensoirresistible?\"
Well,shewasbrave。\"ItWAS。Butit’snot,thankGod,now!\"
\"Thenthereweareagainatourmystery!Idon’tthink,youknow,\"I
madeoutforher,\"itwasmyperson,really,thatgaveitscharmtomytheory;Ithinkitwasmuchmoremytheorythatgaveitscharmtomyperson。
Myperson,Iflattermyself,hasremainedthroughthesefewhours——hoursoftension,butofatension,yousee,purelyintellectual——asgoodasever;sothatifwe’renot,eveninouranomaloussituation,indangerfromanysuchsource,it’ssimplythatmytheoryisdeadandthattheblightoftherestisinvolved。\"
Mywordswereindeedmany,butsheplumpedstraightthroughthem。\"AssoonasIwasawayfromyouIhatedyou。\"
\"HatedME?\"
\"Well,hatedwhatyoucall’therest’——hatedyourtheory。\"
\"Isee。Yet,\"Ireflected,\"you’renotatpresent——thoughyouwishtogoodness,nodoubt,youWERE——awayfromme。\"
\"Oh,Idon’tcarenow,\"shesaidwithcourage;\"since——foryouseeI
believeyou——we’reawayfromyourdelusions。\"
\"Youwouldn’t,inspiteofyourbelief,\"——Ismiledather——\"liketobealittlefurtheroffyet?\"Butbeforeshecouldanswer,andbecausealso,doubtless,thequestionhadtoomuchthesoundofataunt,Icameup,asifforherrealconvenience,quiteinanotherplace。\"Perhapsmyidea——mytiming,thatis,ofyourcrisis——istheresult,inmymind,ofmyownassociationwiththatparticularinstant。ItcomesbacktomethatwhatIwasmostfullofwhileyourfacesignedtomeandyourvoicethensograciouslyconfirmedit,andwhiletoo,asI’vesaid,Longwalkedaway——whatIwasmostfullof,asaconsequenceofanothergo,justended,atLadyJohn,was,oncemore,thissameLadyJohn’swantofadjustabilitytothecharacteryouandI,inourassociatedspeculationofthemorning,hadsocandidlytriedtofitherwith。Iwasstilleventhen,yousee,speculating——allonmyownhook,alas!——andithadjustrolledovermewithrenewedforcethatshewasnothingwhatever,nottheleastlittlebit,toourpurpose。
Themoment,inotherwords,ifyouunderstand,happenedtobeoneofMY
moments;sothat,bythesametoken,Isimplywonderedifitmightn’tlikewisehavehappenedtobeoneofyours。\"
\"ItWASoneofmine,\"Mrs。BrissrepliedaspromptlyasIcouldreasonablyhaveexpected;\"inthesensethat——asyou’veonlytoconsider——itwastoleadmoreorlessdirectlytothesepresentwordsofours。\"
IfIhadonlytoconsider,nothingwasmoreeasy;buteachtimeIconsidered,Iwasreadytoshow,thelessthereseemedleftbytheact。\"Ah,butyouhadthenALREADYbackedout。Won’tyouunderstand——foryou’realittlediscouraging——thatIwanttocatchyouattheearlierstage?\"
\"To’catch’me?\"Ihadindeedexpressions!
\"Absolutelycatch!Focusyouunderthefirstshockoftheobservationthatwastomakeeverythingfalltopiecesforyou。\"
\"ButI’vetoldyou,\"shestoutlyresisted,\"thattherewasno’first’
shock。\"
\"Well,then,thesecondorthethird。\"
\"Therewasnoshock,\"Mrs。Brissmagnificentlysaid,\"atall。\"
Itmademesomehowbreakintolaughter。\"Youfounditsonaturalthen——andyousoratherlikedit——tomakeupyourmindofasuddenthatyouhadbeensteepedinthelastintellectualintimacywithamaniac?\"
Shethoughtoncemore,andthen,asImyselfhadjustpreviouslydone,cameupinanotherplace。\"IhadatthemomentyouspeakofwhollygivenupanyideaofLadyJohn。\"
Butitwassofeebleitmademesmile。\"Ofcourseyouhad,youpoorinnocent!Youcouldn’totherwise,hoursbefore,havestrappedthesaddlesotightonanotherwoman。\"
\"Ihadgivenupeverything,\"shestubbornlycontinued。
\"It’sexactlywhat,inreferencetothatjuncture,Iperfectlyembrace。\"
\"Well,eveninreferencetothatjuncture,\"sheresumed,\"youmaycatchmeasmuchasyoulike。\"Withwhich,suddenly,duringsomeseconds,Isawherholdherselfforaleap。\"Youtalkof’focussing,’butwhatelse,eveninthoseminutes,wereyouinfactengagedin?\"
\"Ah,then,youdorecognisethem,\"Icried——\"thoseminutes?\"
Shetookherjump,thoughwithsomethingofaflop。\"Yes——as,consentingthustobecatechised,Icudgelmybrainforyouramusement——Idorecognisethem。IrememberwhatIthought。Youfocussed——Ifeltyoufocus。Isawyouwonderwhereabouts,inwhatyoucallourassociatedspeculation,I
wouldbythattimebe。Iaskedmyselfwhetheryou’dunderstandifIshouldtrytoconveytoyousimplybymyexpressionsuchalookaswouldtellyouall。By’all’Imeantthefactthat,sorryasIwasforyou——orperhapsformyself——ithadstruckmeasonlyfairtoletyouknowasstraightaspossiblethatIwasnowhere。ThatwaswhyIstaredso,andIofcoursecouldn’texplaintoyou,\"shelucidlypursued,\"towhommystarehadreference。\"
Ihungonherlips。\"ButyoucanNOW?\"
\"Perfectly。ToMr。Long。\"
Iremainedsuspended。\"Ah,butthisislovely!It’swhatIwant。\"
IsawIshouldhavemoreofit,andmoreinfactcame。\"Youweresayingjustnowwhatyouwerefullof,andIcandothesame。IwasfullofHIM。\"
I,onmyside,wasnowfullofeagerness。\"Yes?Hehadleftyoufullashewalkedaway?\"
Shewincedalittleatthisrenewedevocationofhisretreat,butshetookitasshehadnotdonebefore,andIfeltthatwithanotherpushshewouldbefairlyafloat。\"Hehadreasontowalk!\"
Iwondered。\"Whathadyousaidtohim?\"
Shepieceditout。\"Nothing——orverylittle。ButIhadlistened。\"
\"AndtoWHAT?\"
\"Towhathesays。Tohisplatitudes。\"
\"Hisplatitudes?\"Istared。\"Long’s?\"
\"Why,don’tyouknowhe’saprizefool?\"
Imused,scepticalbutreasonable。\"HeWAS。\"
\"HeIS!\"
Mrs。Brisswassuperb,but,asIquicklyfeltImightremindher,therewasherpossiblyweakjudgment。\"Yourconfidenceissplendid;onlymustn’tIrememberthatyoursenseofthefinerkindsofclevernessisn’tperhapsabsolutelysecure?Don’tyouknow?——youalso,tilljustnow,thoughtME
aprizefool。\"
IfIhadhoped,however,heretotripherup,Ihadreckonedwithouttheimpulse,andevenperhapstheexample,thatsheproperlyowedtome。
\"Oh,no——notanythingofthatsort,you,atall。Onlyanintelligentmangonewrong。\"
Ifollowed,butbeforeIcaughtup,\"WhereasLong’sonlyastupidmangoneright?\"Ithrewout。
Itcheckedhertoobriefly,andtherewasindeedsomethingofmyownitbroughtstraightback。\"Ithoughtthatjustwhatyoutoldme,thismorningoryesterday,wasthatyouhadneverknownacaseoftheconversionofanidiot。\"
Ilaughedatherreadiness。Well,Ihadwantedtomakeherfight!\"It’strueitwouldhavebeentheonlyone。\"
\"Ah,you’llhavetodowithoutit!\"Oh,shewasbrisknow。\"AndifyouknowwhatIthinkofhim,youknownomorethanHEdoes。\"
\"Youmeanyoutoldhim?\"
Shehungfirebutaninstant。\"Itoldhim,practically——anditwasinfactallIdidhavetosaytohim。Itwasenough,however,andhedisgustedlyleftmeonit。Thenitwasthat,asyougavemethechance,Itriedtotelegraphyou——tosaytoyouonthespotandunderthesharpimpression:
’Whatonearthdoyoumeanbyyournonsense?Itdoesn’tholdwater!’It’sapityIdidn’tsucceed!\"shecontinued——forshehadbecomealmostvoluble。
\"Itwouldhavesettledthequestion,andIshouldhavegonetobed。\"
Iweigheditwiththegrimacethat,Ifeared,hadbecomealmostasfixedasMrs。Server’s。\"Itwouldhavesettledthequestionperhaps;butIshouldhavelostthisimpressionofyou。\"
\"Oh,thisimpressionofme!\"
\"Ah,butdon’tundervalueit:it’swhatIwant!WhatwasitthenLonghadsaid?\"
Shehaditmoreandmore,butshehaditasnothingatall。\"Notawordtorepeat——youwouldn’tbelieve!Hedoessaynothingatall。Onecan’tremember。It’swhatImean。Itriedhimonpurpose,whileIthoughtofyou。Buthe’sperfectlystupid。Idon’tseehowwecanhavefancied——!\"
Ihadinterruptedherbythemovementwithwhichagain,uncontrollablytossedononeofmysurgesofcertitude,Iturnedaway。HOWdeeptheymusthavebeenintogetherforhertohavesoatlastgatheredherselfup,andinhowdoublyinterestingalight,aboveall,itseemedtopresentLongforthefuture!Thatwas,whileIwarnedmyself,whatImostreadin——literallyanimplicationoftheenhancementofthislattersideoftheprodigy。Ifhiscleverness,underthealarmthat,firststirringtheirconsciousnessbutdimly,hadsoswiftlydevelopedastomakenextofeachamirrorfortheother,andthentoprecipitateforthem,insomesilencedeeperthandarkness,theexchangeofrecognitions,admissionsand,astheycertainlywouldhavephrasedit,tips——ifhisexcitedacutenesswashenceforthtoprotectitselfbydissimulation,whatwouldn’tperhaps,forone’sdiversion,bethenewspectacleandwonder?IcouldinamanneralreadymeasurethislargerplaybytheamplitudefreshlydeterminedinMrs。Briss,andIwasforamomentactuallyheldbythethoughtofthepossiblefinishourfriendwouldfinditinhimtogivetoarepresented,afictiveineptitude。Thesharpestjostletomythought,inthisrush,mightwellhavebeen,Iconfess,thereflectionthatasitwasIwhohadarrested,whohadspoiledtheirunconsciousness,soitwasnaturaltheyshouldfightagainstmeforapossiblelifeinthestateIhadgiventheminstead。Ihadspoiledtheirunconsciousness,Ihaddestroyedit,anditwasconsciousnessalonethatcouldmakethemeffectivelycruel。Therefore,iftheywerecruel,itwasIwhohaddeterminedit,inasmuchas,consciously,theycouldonlywant,theycouldonlyintend,tolive。Wouldn’tthatquestionhavebeen,Imanagedevennowtoaskmyself,theverybasisonwhichtheyhadinscrutablycometogether?\"It’slife,youknow,\"eachhadsaidtotheother,\"andI,accordingly,canonlyclingtomine。Butyou,poordear——shallYOUgiveup?\"\"Giveup?\"theotherhadreplied:\"forwhatdoyoutakeme?Ishallfightbyyourside,please,andwecancompareandexchangeweaponsandmanoeuvres,andyoumayineverywaycountuponme。\"
Thatwaswhat,withgreatervividness,wasfortherestoftheoccasionbeforeme,orbehindme;andthatIhaddoneitallandhadonlymyselftothankforitwaswhat,fromthisminute,bythesametoken,wasmoreandmoreformetheinneressenceofMrs。Briss’sattitude。Iknownotwhatheavyadmonitionofmyresponsibilityhadthussuddenlydescendedonme;butnothing,underit,wasindeedmoresensiblethanthatpracticallyitparalysedme。AndIcouldonlysaytomyselfthatthiswastheprice——thepriceofthesecretsuccess,thelonelylibertyandtheintellectualjoy。
Therewerethingsthatforsoprivateandsplendidarevel——thatoftheexclusivekingwithhisWagneropera——Icouldonlyletgo,andthespecialtormentofmycasewasthattheconditionoflight,ofthesatisfactionofcuriosityandoftheattestationoftriumph,wasinthisdirectwaythesacrificeoffeeling。Therewasnopointatwhichmyassurancecould,bythescientificmethod,judgeitselfcompleteenoughnottoregardfeelingasaninterferenceand,inconsequence,asapossiblecheck。IfithadtogoIknewwellwhowentwithit,butIwasn’ttheretosaveTHEM。I
wastheretosavemypricelesspearlofaninquiryandtoharden,tothatend,myheart。Ishouldneedindeedallmyhardness,aswellasmybrightness,moreover,tomeetMrs。BrissonthehighleveltowhichIhadatlastinducedhertomount,and,evenwhileIprolongedthemovementbywhichIhadmomentarilystayedher,theintermissionofherspeechbecameitselfformeahintofthepeculiarpertinenceofcaution。Itlastedlongenough,thisdrop,tosuggestthatherattentionwasthesharperformyhavingturnedawayfromit,andIshouldhavefearedarenewedchallengeifshehadn’t,bygoodluck,presentlygoneon:\"There’sreallynothinginhimatall!\"
Chapter14
Ihadfacedheragainjustintimetotakeit,andIimmediatelymadeupmymindhowbesttodoso。\"ThenIgoutterlytopieces!\"
\"Youshouldn’thaveperchedyourself,\"shelaughed——shecouldbythistimealmostcoarselylaugh——\"insuchapreposterousplace!\"
\"Ah,that’smyaffair,\"Ireturned,\"andifIaccepttheconsequencesIdon’tquiteseewhatyou’vetosaytoit。ThatIdoacceptthem——sofarasImakethemoutasnottoointolerableandyouasnotintendingthemtobe——thatIdoacceptthemiswhatI’vebeentryingtosignifytoyou。
Onlymyfall,\"Iadded,\"isaninevitableshock。Youremarkedtomeafewminutessincethatyoudidn’trecoveryourselfinaflash。Idifferfromyou,yousee,inthatido;Itakemycollapseallatonce。HerethenI
am。I’msmashed。Idon’tsee,asIlookaboutme,apieceIcanpickup。
Idon’tattempttoaccountformygoingwrong;Idon’tattempttoaccountforyourswithme;Idon’tattempttoaccountforanything。IfLongIS
justwhathealwayswasitsettlesthematter,andthespecialclincherforuscanbebutyourhonestfinalimpression,madepreciselymoreawareofitselfbyrepentanceforthelevitywithwhichyouhadoriginallyyieldedtomycontagion。\"
Shedidn’tinsistonherrepentance;shewastootakenupwiththefactsthemselves。\"Oh,butaddtomyimpressioneveryoneelse’simpression!Hasanyonenoticedanything?\"
\"Ah,Idon’tknowwhatanyonehasnoticed。Ihaven’t,\"Ibrooded,\"ventured——asyouknow——toaskanyone。\"
\"Well,ifyouhadyou’dhaveseen——seen,Imean,alltheydon’tsee。
Iftheyhadbeenconsciousthey’dhavetalked。\"
Ithought。\"Tome?\"
\"Well,I’mnotsuretoyou;peoplehavesuchanotionofwhatyouembroideronthingsthatthey’reratherafraidtocommitthemselvesortoleadyouon:they’resometimesin,youknow,\"sheluminouslyremindedme,\"formorethantheybargainfor,thantheyquiteknowwhattodowith,orthantheycaretohaveontheirhands。\"
Itriedtodojusticetothisaccountofmyself。\"YoumeanIseesomuch?\"
Itwasadelicatematter,butsheriskedit。\"Don’tyousometimesseehorrors?\"
Iwondered。\"Well,namesareaconvenience。Peoplecatchmeintheact?\"
\"Theycertainlythinkyoucritical。\"
\"Andiscriticismthevisionofhorrors?\"
Shecouldn’tquitebesurewhereIwastakingher。\"Itisn’t,perhaps,somuchthatyouseethem——\"
Istarted。\"AsthatIperpetratethem?\"
Shewassurenow,however,andwouldn’thaveit,forshewasserious。
\"Dearno——youdon’tperpetrateanything。Perhapsitwouldbebetterifyoudid!\"shetossedoffwithanoddlaugh。\"But——alwaysbypeople’sidea——youlikethem。\"
Ifollowed。\"Horrors?\"
\"Well,youdon’t——\"
\"Yes——?\"
Butshewouldn’tbehurriednow。\"Youtakethemtoomuchforwhattheyare。Youdon’tseemtowant——\"
\"Tocomedownonthemstrong?Oh,butIoftendo!\"
\"Somuchthebetterthen。\"
\"ThoughIdolike——whetherforthatornot,\"Ihastenedtoconfess,\"tolookthemfirstwellintheface。\"
Oureyesmet,withthis,foraminute,butshemadenothingofthat。
\"WhentheyHAVEnoface,then,youcan’tdoit!Itisn’tatalleventsnowaquestion,\"shewenton,\"ofpeople’skeepinganythingback,andyou’reperhapsinanycasenotthepersontowhomitwouldfirsthavecome。\"
Itriedtothinkthenwhothepersonwouldbe。\"ItwouldhavecometoLonghimself?\"
Butshewasimpatientofthis。\"Oh,onedoesn’tknowwhatcomes——orwhatdoesn’t——toLonghimself!I’mnotsurehe’stoomodesttomisrepresent——ifhehadtheintelligencetoplayapart。\"
\"Whichhehasn’t!\"Iconcluded。
\"Whichhehasn’t。It’stoMEtheymighthavespoken——ortoeachother。\"
\"ButIthoughtyouexactlyheldtheyHADchatteredinaccountingforhisstatebytheinfluenceofLadyJohn。\"
Shegotthematterinstantlystraight。\"Notabit。Thatchatterwasmineonly——andproducedtomeetyours。Therehadso,byyourtheory,tobeawoman——\"
\"That,toobligeme,youinventedHER?Precisely。ButIthought——\"
\"Youneedn’thavethought!\"Mrs。Brissbrokein。\"Ididn’tinventher。\"
\"Thenwhatareyoutalkingabout?\"
\"Ididn’tinventher,\"sherepeated,lookingatmehard。\"She’strue。\"
Iechoeditinvagueness,thoughinstinctivelyagaininprotest;yetI
heldmybreath,forthiswasreallythepointatwhichIfeltmycompanion’sforcesmosttohavemustered。Hermannernowmoreovergavemeagreatideaofthem,andherwholeairwasoftakingimmediateadvantageofmyimpression。
\"Well,seehere:sinceyou’vewantedit,I’mafraidthat,howeverlittleyoumaylikeit,you’llhavetotakeit。You’vepressedmeforexplanationsanddrivenmemuchharderthanyoumusthaveseenIfoundconvenient。IfI’veseemedtobeataboutthebushit’sbecauseIhadn’tonlymyselftothinkof。Onecanbesimpleforone’sself——onecan’tbe,always,forothers。\"
\"Ah,towhomdoyousayit?\"Iencouraginglysighed;notevenyetquiteseeingforwhatissueshewasheading。
Shecontinuedtomakeforthespot,whateveritwas,withacertainmajesty。\"IshouldhavepreferredtotellyounothingmorethanwhatI
HAVEtoldyou。Ishouldhavepreferredtocloseourconversationonthesimpleannouncementofmyrecoveredsenseofproportion。ButyouHAVE,Isee,gotmeintoodeep。\"
\"O—oh!\"Icourteouslyattenuated。
\"You’vemadeofme,\"shelucidlyinsisted,\"toobigatalker,toobigathinker,ofnonsense。\"
\"Thankyou,\"Ilaughed,\"forintimatingthatItriflesoagreeably。\"
\"Oh,YOU’VEappearednottomind!Butletmethenatlastnotfailoftheluxuryofadmittingthatimind。Yes,Imindparticularly。Imay,bebad,butI’veagrainofgumption。\"
\"’Bad’?\"Itseemedmorecloselytoconcernme。
\"BadImaybe。Infact,\"shepursuedatthishighpitchandpressure;
\"there’snodoubtwhateverIAM。\"
\"I’mdelightedtohearit,\"Icried,\"foritwasexactlysomethingstrongIwantedofyou!\"
\"ItISthenstrong\"——andIcouldseeindeedshewasreadytosatisfyme。\"You’veworriedmeformymotiveandharassedmeformy’moment,’andI’vehadtoprotectothersand,atthecostofadecentappearance,topretendtobemyselfhalfanidiot。I’vehadeven,forthesamepurpose——ifyoumusthaveit——todepartfromthetruth;togiveyou,thatis,afalseaccountofthemannerofmyescapefromyourtangle。Butnowthetruthshallbetold,andotherscantakecareofthemselves!\"Shehadsowoundherselfupwiththis,reachedsothepointoffairlyheavingwithcourageandcandour,thatIforaninstantalmostmiscalculatedherdirectionandbelievedshewasreallythrowinguphercards。Itwasasifshehaddecided,onsomestillfinerlines,justtorubmynoseintowhatIhadbeenspellingout;whichwouldhavebeenananticipationofmyownjourney’scrownofthemostdisconcertingsort。Iwantedmypersonalconfidence,butIwantednobody’sconfession,andwithoutthejourney’scrownwhereWASthepersonalconfidence?Withoutthepersonalconfidence,moreover,wherewasthepersonalhonour?ThatwouldbereallythesinglethingtowhichIcouldattachauthority,foraconfessionmight,afterall,beitselfalie。Anybody,atallevents,couldfittheshoetoone。Myfriend’sintention,however,remainedbutbrieflyequivocal;mydangerpassed,andIrecognisedinitsplaceastillricherassurance。Itwasnottheunnamed,inshort,whoweretobenamed。
\"LadyJohnISthewoman。\"
Yeteventhiswasprodigious。\"ButIthoughtyourpresentpositionwasjustthatshe’sNOT!\"
\"LadyJohnISthewoman,\"Mrs。Brissagainannounced。
\"ButIthoughtyourpresentpositionwasjustthatnobodyis!\"
\"LadyJohnISthewoman,\"sheathirdtimedeclared。
Itnaturallyleftmegaping。\"ThenthereISone?\"Icriedbetweenbewildermentandjoy。
\"Awoman?There’sHER!\"Mrs。Brissrepliedwithmoreforcethangrammar。
\"Iknow,\"shebriskly,almostbreezilyadded,\"thatIsaidshewouldn’tdo(asIhadoriginallysaidshewoulddobetterthananyone),whenyouawhileagomentionedher。Butthatwastosaveher。\"
\"Andyoudon’tcarenow,\"Ismiled,\"ifshe’slost!\"
Shehesitated。\"SheISlost。Butshecantakecareofherself。\"
Icouldbuthelplesslythinkofher。\"I’mafraidindeedthat,withwhatyou’vedonewithher,ican’ttakecareofher。Butwhyisshenowtothepurpose,\"Iarticulatelywondered,\"anymorethanshewas?\"
\"Why?Ontheverysystemyouyourselflaiddown。Whenwetookhimforbrilliant,shecouldn’tbe。Butnowthatweseehimasheis——\"
\"WecanonlyseeheralsoasSHEis?\"Well,Itried,asfarasmyamusementwouldpermit,sotoseeher;butstillthereweredifficulties。\"Possibly!\"
Iatmostconceded。\"Doyouoweyourdiscovery,however,whollytomysystem?
Mysystem,wheresomuchmadeforprotection,\"Iexplained,\"wasn’tintendedtohavetheeffectofexposure。\"
\"Itappearstohavebeenatalleventsintended,\"mycompanionreturned,\"tohavetheeffectofdrivingmetothewall;andtheconsequenceofthateffectisnobody’sfaultbutyourown。\"
Shewasalllogicnow,andIcouldeasilysee,betweenmylightandmydarkness,howshewouldremainso。YetIwasscarcesatisfied。\"Andit’sonlyon’thateffect’——?\"
\"ThatI’vemadeupmymind?\"Shewaspositivelyfreeatlasttoenjoymydiscomfort。\"Wouldn’titbesurely,ifyourideaswereworthanything,enough?Butitisn’t,\"sheadded,\"onlyonthat。It’sonsomethingelse。\"
Ihadafteraninstantextractedfromthisthesinglemeaningitcouldappeartoyield。\"I’mtounderstandthatyouKNOW?\"
\"Thatthey’reintimateenoughforanything?\"Shefaltered,butshebroughtitout。\"Iknow。\"
Itwastheoddestthingintheworldforalittle,thewaythisaffectedmewithoutmyatallbelievingit。Itwaspreposterous,hangthoughitwouldwithhersomersault,andshehadquitesucceededingivingitthenoteofsincerity。Itwasthemeresoundofitthat,asIfeltevenatthetime,madeitalittleofablow——ablowofthesmartofwhichIwasconsciousjustlongenoughinwardlytomurmur:\"WhatifsheSHOULDberight?\"
Shehadforthesesecondstheadvantageofstirringwithinmethememoryofherhavingindeed,thedayprevious,atPaddington,\"known\"asIhadn’t。
IthadbeenreallyonwhatsheTHENknewthatweoriginallystarted,andanelementofourstarthadbeenthatIadmiredherfreedom。Theformofit,atleast——sobeautifullyhadsherecoveredherself——wasalltherenow。
Well,Iatanyratereflected,itwasn’ttheformthatneedtroubleme,andIquicklyenoughputheraquestionthatrelatedonlytothematter。
\"Ofcourseifsheis——itISsmash!\"
\"Andhaven’tyouyetgotusedtoitsbeing?\"
Ikeptmyeyesonher;Itracedtheburiedfigureintheruins。\"She’sgoodenoughforafool;andso\"——Imadeitout——\"ishe!IfheISthesameass——yes——theyMIGHTbe。\"
\"ANDheis,\"saidMrs。Briss,\"thesameass!\"
Icontinuedtolookather。\"Hewouldhavenoneedthenofherhavingtransformedandinspiredhim。\"
\"OrofherhavingDEformedandidiotisedherself,\"myfriendsubjoined。
Oh,howitsharpenedmylook!\"No,no——shewouldn’tneedthat。\"
\"ThegreatpointisthatHEwouldn’t!\"Mrs。Brisslaughed。
Ikeptitup。\"Shewoulddoperfectly。\"
Mrs。Brisswasnotbehind。\"Mydearman,shehasgottodo!\"
Thiswasbriskerstill,butIheldmyway。\"Almostanyonewoulddo。\"
Itseemedforalittle,betweenhumourandsadness,tostrikeher。\"AlmostanyoneWOULD。Still,\"shelesspensivelydeclared,\"wewanttherightone。\"
\"Surely;therightone\"——Icouldonlyechoit。\"Buthow,\"Ithenproceeded,\"hasithappilybeenconfirmedtoyou?\"
Itpulledherupatrifle。\"’Confirmed’——?\"
\"Thathe’sherlover。\"