第16章

类别:其他 作者:Henry, Jr.James字数:6660更新时间:19/01/07 14:51:50
Myeyeshadbeenmeetingherswithout,asitwere,hersquitemeetingmine。Butatthistherehadtobeintercourse。\"Bymyhusband。\" ItpulledMEupatrifle。\"Brissendenknows?\" Shehesitated;then,asifatmytone,gavealaugh。\"Don’tyousupposeI’vetoldhim?\" Ireallycouldn’tbutadmireher。\"Ah——soyouHAVEtalked!\" Itdidn’tconfoundher。\"One’shusbandisn’ttalk。You’recruelmoreover,\" shecontinued,\"tomyjoke。ItwasBriss,poordear,whotalked——though,Imean,onlytome。HEknows。\" Icastabout。\"Sincewhen?\" Butshehaditready。\"Sincethisevening。\" OncemoreIcouldn’tbutsmile。\"Justintimethen!AndtheWAYheknows——?\" \"Oh,theway!\"——shehadatthisaslightdrop。Butshecameupagain。 \"Itakehisword。\" \"Youhaven’tthenaskedhim?\" \"Thebeautyofitwas——halfanhourago,upstairs——thatIHADN’Ttoask。Hecameoutwithithimself,andTHAT——togiveyouthewholething——was,ifyoulike,mymoment。Hedroppeditonme,\"shecontinuedtoexplain,\"withoutintheleast,sweetinnocent,knowingwhathewasdoing;more,atleast,thatis,thangiveheraway。\" \"Which,\"Iconcurred,\"wascomparativelynothing!\" Butshehadnoearforirony,andshemadeoutstillmoreofherstory。 \"He’ssimple——buthesees。\" \"Andwhenhesees\"——Icompletedthepicture——\"heluckilytells。\" Shequiteagreedwithmethatitwaslucky,butwithoutprejudicetohisacutenessandtowhathadbeeninhimmoreoveranaturalrevulsion。 \"Hehasseen,inshort;therecomessomechancewhenonedoes。His,asluckilyasyouplease,camethisevening。IfyouaskmewhatitshowedhimyouaskmorethanI’VEeithercaredorhadtimetoask。Doyouconsider,forthatmatter\"——sheputittome——\"thatonedoesask?\"Asherhighsmoothness——suchwasthewonderofthisreascendancy——almostdeprivedmeofmymeans,shewaswiseandgentlewithme。\"Letusleaveitalone。\" Ifairly,whilemylookatherturnedrueful,scratchedmyhead。\"Don’tyouthinkitalittlelateforthat?\" \"Lateforeverything!\"sheimpatientlysaid。\"Butthereyouare。\" Ifixedthefloor。ThereindeedIwas。ButItriedtostaythere——justthereonly——asshortatimeaspossible。Something,moreover,afterall,caughtmeup。\"ButifBrissendenalreadyknew——?\" \"Ifheknew?\"Shestillgaveme,withoutprejudicetoheringenuity——andindeeditwasapartofthis——alltheworkshecould。 \"Why,thatLongandLadyJohnwerethick?\" \"Ah,then,\"shecried,\"youadmittheyARE!\" \"AmInotadmittingeverythingyoutellme?ButthemoreIadmit,\"I explained,\"themoreImustunderstand。It’sTOadmit,yousee,thatI inquire。IfBrisscamedownwithLadyJohnyesterdaytoobligeMr。Long——\" \"Hedidn’tcome,\"sheinterrupted,\"toobligeMr。Long!\" \"Well,then,toobligeLadyJohnherself——\" \"Hedidn’tcometoobligeLadyJohnherself!\" \"Well,then,toobligehiscleverwife——\" \"Hedidn’tcometoobligehiscleverwife!Hecame,\"saidMrs。Briss,\"justtoamusehimself。HeHAShisamusements,andit’sodd,\"sheremarkablylaughed,\"thatyoushouldgrudgethemtohim!\" \"ItwouldbeoddindeedifIdid!Butputhisproceeding,\"Icontinued,\"onanygroundyoulike;youdescribedtomethepurposeofitasascreeningofthepair。\" \"Idescribedtoyouthepurposeofitasnothingofthesort。Ididn’tdescribetoyouthepurposeofit,\"saidMrs。Briss,\"atall。Idescribedtoyou,\"shetriumphantlysetforth,\"theEFFECTofit——whichisaverydifferentthing。\" Icouldonlymeetherwithadmiration。\"You’reofanastuteness——!\" \"OfcourseI’mofanastuteness!ISEEeffects。AndIsawthatone。 HowmuchBrisshimselfhadseenitis,asI’vetoldyou,anothermatter; andwhathehad,atanyrate,quitetakentheaffairforwasthesortofflirtationinwhich,ifoneisafriendtoeitherparty,andone’sownfeelingsarenotatstake,onemaynowandthengivepeoplealift。Haven’tIaskedyoubefore,\"shedemanded,\"ifyousupposehewouldhavegivenonehadhehadanideawherethesepeopleARE?\" \"Iscarceknowwhatyouhaveaskedmebefore!\"Isighed;\"and’wheretheyare’isjustwhatyouhaven’ttoldme。\" \"It’swheremyhusbandwassoannoyedunmistakablytodiscoverthem。\" Andasifshehadquitefixedthepointshepassedtoanother。\"He’speculiar,dearoldBriss,butinawaybywhich,ifoneuseshim——bywhich,Imean,ifonedependsonhim——atall,onegains,Ithink,morethanoneloses。 Uptoacertainpoint,inanycasethat’stheleastacaseforsubtlety,heseesnothingatall;butbeyondit——whenoncehedoeswakeup——he’llgothroughahouse。Nothingthenescapeshim,andwhathedragstolightissometimesappalling。\" \"Rather,\"Ithoughtfullyresponded——\"sincewitnessthisoccasion!\" \"Butisn’ttheinterestofthisoccasion,asI’vealreadysuggested,\" shepropounded,\"simplythatitmakesanend,burstsabubble,ridsusofanincubusandpermitsustogotobedinpeace?IthankGod,\"shemoralised,\"fordearoldBrissto—night。\" \"SodoI,\"Iafteramomentreturned;\"butIshalldosowithstillgreaterfervourifyou’llhaveforthespaceofanotherquestionastillgreaterpatience。\"Withwhich,asafinalmovementfromherseemedtosayhowmuchthiswastoask,IhadonmyownsideacertainexasperationofsorenessforallIhadtoacknowledge——evenwereitmereacknowledgment——thatshehadbroughtrattlingdown。\"Remember,\"Ipleaded,\"thatyou’recostingmeaperfectpalaceofthought!\" Icouldseetoothat,heldunexpectedlybysomethinginmytone,shereallytookitin。Couldn’tIevenalmostseethat,foranoddinstant,sheregrettedtheblightedpleasureofthepursuitoftruthwithme?I needed,atallevents,nobetterproofeitherofthesweetorofthebitterinhercomprehensionthantheaccentwithwhichshereplied:\"Oh,thosewholiveinglasshouses——\" \"Shouldn’t——no,Iknowtheyshouldn’t——throwstones;andthat’spreciselywhyIdon’t。\"Ihadtakenherimmediatelyup,andIheldherbyitandbysomethingbetterstill。\"You,fromyourfortressofgranite,canchuckthemaboutasyouwill!Allthemorereason,however,\"Iquicklyadded,\"that,beforemyfrail,but,asImaintain,quitesublimestructure,youhonourme,forafewseconds,withanintelligentlookatit。Iseemmyselftoseeitagain,perfectineverypart,\"Ipursued,\"evenwhileIthusspeaktoyou,andtofeelafreshthat,weren’tthewretchedaccidentofitsweakfoundation,itwouldn’thavetheshadowofaflaw。I’vespokenofitinmyconceivableregret,\"Iconceded,\"asalreadyamereheapofdisfiguredfragments;butthatwastheextravaganceofmyvexation,mydespair。It’sinpointoffactsobeautifullyfittedthatitcomesapartpiecebypiece——which,sofarasthatgoes,you’veseenitdointhelastquarterofanhouratyourowntouch,quitehandingmethepieces,onebyone,yourselfandwatchingmestackthemalongtheground。They’renoteveninthisstate——see!\"Iwoundup——\"apileofruins!\"Iwoundup,asIsay,butonlyforlongenoughtohave,withthevibration,theexaltation,ofmyeloquence,mysmalltriumphasagainsthergreatone。\"Ishouldalmostlike,piecebypiece,tohandthembacktoyou。\"AndthistimeIcompletedmyfigure。\"Ibelievethat,fortheverycharmofit,you’dfindyourselfplacingthembyyourownsenseintheirorderandrearingoncemorethesplendidpile。WillyoutakejustONEofthemfrommeagain,\"Iinsisted,\"andletmeseeifonlytohaveitinyourhandsdoesn’tpositivelystartyouoff?That’swhatImeantjustnowbyaskingyouforanotheranswer。\" Shehadremainedsilent,asifreallyinthepresenceoftherisingmagnificenceofmymetaphor,anditwasnottoolatefortheonechanceleftme。\"Therewasnothing,youknow,IhadsofittedasyouraccountofpoorMrs。Serverwhen,onourseeingthem,fromtheterrace,togetherbelow,youstruckoffyourexplanationthatoldBrisswasHERscreenforLong。\" \"Fitted?\"——andtherewassincerityinhersurprise。\"Ithoughtmystupidideatheoneforwhichyouhadexactlynouse!\" \"Ihadnouse,\"Iinstantlyconcurred,\"foryourstupididea,butI hadgreatuseforyourstupidly,alas!havingit。THATfittedbeautifully,\" Ismiled,\"tillthepiececameout。Andevennow,\"Iadded,\"Idon’tfeelitquiteaccountedfor。\" \"Theirbeingtheretogether?\" \"No。Yournotlikingitthattheywere。\" Shestared。\"Notlikingit?\" Icouldseehowlittleindeedshemindednow,butIalsokeptthethreadofmyownintellectualhistory。\"Yes。YournotlikingitiswhatIspeakofasthepiece。Iholdit,yousee,upbeforeyou。What,artistically,wouldyoudowithit?\" Butonemighttakeahorsetowater——!Ihelditupbeforeher,butIcouldn’tmakeherlookatit。\"HowdoyouknowwhatImayn’t,ormay,haveliked?\" Itdidbringmeto。\"Becauseyouwereconsciousofnottellingme?Well,evenifyoudidn’t——!\" \"Thatmadenodifference,\"sheinquiredwithagenerousderision,\"becauseyoucouldalwaysimagine?Ofcourseyoucouldalwaysimagine——whichispreciselywhatisthematterwithyou!ButI’msurprisedatyourcomingtomewithitoncemoreasevidenceofanything。\" Istoodrebuked,andevenmoresothanIshowedher,forsheneed,obviously,onlydeclinetotakeoneofmycounterstodepriveitofallvalueascoin。 WhenshepusheditacrossIhadbuttopocketitagain。\"ItIStheweaknessofmycase,\"IfeeblyandIdaresayawkwardlymusedather,\"thatanyparticularthingyoudon’tgrantmebecomesstraightwaythestrengthofyours。Ofcourse,however\"——andIgavemyselfashake——\"I’mabsolutelyrejoicing(amInot?)inthestrengthofyours。Theweaknessofmyowniswhat,underyourinstruction,I’mnowgoinginto;butdon’tyouseehowmuchweakeritwillshowifIdrawfromyouthefullexpressionofyourindifference? HowCOULDyouinfactcarewhenwhatyouwereattheverymomenturgingonmesohardwastheextravaganceofMrs。Server’sconduct?Thatextravagancethenprovedher,toyoureyes,thewomanwhohadaconnectionwithLongtokeeptheworldoffthescentof——thoughyoumaintainedthatinspiteofthedustshekickedupbyitshewas,atapinch,nowandthentobecaughtwithhim。ThatinsteadofbeingcaughtwithhimshewascaughtonlywithBrissendenannoyedyounaturallyforthemoment;butwhatwasthatannoyancecomparedtoyourappreciationofhershowing——byundertakingyourhusband,ofallpeople!——justthemoremarkedlyASextravagant?\" Shehadbeensufficientlyinterestedthistimetofollowme。\"Whatwasitindeed?\" Igreetedheracquiescence,butIinsisted。\"Andyetifsheisextravagant——whatdoyoudowithit?\" \"Ithoughtyouwouldn’thearofit!\"sheexclaimed。 Isoughttocombinefirmnesswithmymildness。\"Whatdoyoudowithit?\" Butshecouldmatchmeatthis。\"Ithoughtyouwouldn’thearofit!\" \"It’snotaquestionofmydispositions。It’saquestionofherhavingbeen,ornotbeen,foryou’allovertheplace,’andofeveryone’salsobeing,foryou,onthechatteraboutit。YougobythatinrespecttoLong——byyourholding,thatis,thatnothinghasbeennoticed;thereforemustn’tyougobyitinrespecttoHER——sinceIunderstandfromyouthateverythinghas?\" \"Everythingalwaysis,\"Mrs。Brissagreeablyreplied,\"inaplaceandapartylikethis;butsolittle——anythinginparticular——that,withpeoplemoving’everywhich’way,itcomestothesameasifnothingwas。Thingsarenot,also,gougedouttoYOURtune,anditdepends,stillfurther,onwhatyoumeanby’extravagant。\"’ \"Imeanwhateveryouyourselfmeant。\" \"Well,Imyselfmeannolonger,youknow,whatIdidmean。\" \"Sheisn’tthen——?\" Butsuddenlyshewasalmostsharpwithme。\"Isn’twhat?\" \"Whatthewomanwesoearnestlylookedforwouldhavetobe。\" \"Allgone?\"Shehadhesitated,butshewentonwithdecision。\"No,sheisn’tallgone,sincetherewasenoughofherlefttomakeuptopoorBriss。\" \"Precisely——andit’sjustwhatwesaw,andjustwhat,withherotherdashesofthesamesort,ledustohavetofacethequestionofherbeing——well,whatIsay。Orrather,\"Iadded,\"whatYOUsay。Thatis,\"Iamended,tokeepperfectlystraight,\"whatyousayyouDON’Tsay。\" Itookindeedtoomanyprecautionsformyfriendnottohavetolookatthem。\"Extravagant?\"Theirritationofthewordhadgrownforher,yetIriskedrepeatingit,andwiththeeffectofitsgivingheranotherpause。 \"ItellyousheISN’Tthat!\" \"Exactly;andit’sonlytoaskyouwhatintheworldthensheIS。\" \"She’shorrid!\"saidMrs。Briss。 \"’Horrid’?\"Igloomilyechoed。 \"Horrid。Itwasn’t,\"shethendevelopedwithdecision,\"a’dash,’asyousay,’ofthesamesort’——thoughgoodnessknowsofwhatsortyoumean: itwasn’t,tobeplain,a’dash’atall。\"MycompanionWASplain。\"Shesettled。Shestuck。\"Andfinally,asIcouldbutechoheragain:\"Shemadelovetohim。\" \"But——a——really?\" \"Really。That’showIknew。\" Iwasatsea。\"’Knew’?Butyousaw。\" \"Iknew——thatisIlearnt——morethanIsaw。Iknewshecouldn’tbegone。\" Itinfactbroughtlight。\"KnewitbyHIM?\" \"Hetoldme,\"saidMrs。Briss。 Itbroughtlight,butitbroughtalso,Ifear,forme,anotherqueergrimace。\"Doeshethenregularlytell?\" \"Regularly。Butwhathetells,\"shedidherselfthejusticetodeclare,\"isnotalwayssomuchtothepointasthetwothingsI’verepeatedtoyou。\" TheirweightthensuggestedthatIshouldhavethemoveragain。\"Hisrevelation,inthefirstplace,ofLongandLadyJohn?\" \"Andhisrevelationinthesecond\"——shespokeofitasabroadjoke——\"ofMayServerandhimself。\" Therewassomethinginherjokethatwasachilltomymind;butIneverthelessplayedup。\"Andwhatdoeshesaythat’sfurtherinterestingaboutTHAT?\" \"Why,thatshe’sawfullysharp。\" Igasped——sheturneditoutso。\"SHE——Mrs。Server?\" Itmadeher,however,equallystare。\"Why,isn’tittheverythingyoumaintained?\" Ifeltherdreadfullogic,butIcouldn’t——withmyexquisiteimageallcontrasted,asinaflashfromflint,withthismonstrosity——somuchasentertainherquestion。Icouldonlystupidlyagainsoundit。\"Awfullysharp?\" \"Youafterallthennowdon’t?\"Itwassheherselfwhomthewordsatpresentdescribed!\"ThenwhatonearthDOyouthink?\"Thestrangemixtureinmyfacenaturallymadeheraskit,buteverything,withinaminute,hadsomehowsogivenwayunderthetouchofhersupremeassurance,thepresentationofherownnowfinishedsystem,thatIdaresayIcouldn’tatthemomenthaveintheleasttrustedmyselftotellher。Sheleftme,however,infact,smalltime——sheonlytookenough,withhernegationsarrayedandherinsolencerecaptured,tojudgemeafresh,whichshedidasshegatheredherselfupintothestrengthoftwenty—five。Ididn’tafterall——itappearedpartofmysmash——knowtheweightofherhusband’syears,butIknewtheweightofmyown。Theymighthavebeenathousand,andnothingbutthesenseofthemwouldinamoment,Isaw,beleftme。\"Mypoordear,youAREcrazy,andIbidyougood—night!\" Nothingbutthesenseofthem——onmytakingitfromherwithoutasoundandwatchingher,throughthelightedrooms,retreatanddisappear——WAS atfirstleftme;butafteraminutesomethingelsecame,andIgrewconsciousthatherverdictlingered。Shehadsohadthelastwordthat,togetoutofitsplantedpresence,Ishookmyself,asIhaddonebefore,frommythought。WhenonceIhadstartedtomyroomindeed——andtopreparationforalivelierstartassoonasthehouseshouldstiragain——Ialmostbreathlesslyhurried。Suchalastword——thewordthatputmealtogethernowhere——wastoounacceptablenottoprescribeafreshthatprompttestofescapetootherairforwhichIhadearlierintheeveningseensomuchreason。I SHOULDcertainlyneveragain,onthespot,quitehangtogether,eventhoughitwasn’treallythatIhadn’tthreetimeshermethod。WhatItoofatallylackedwashertone。