Myeyeshadbeenmeetingherswithout,asitwere,hersquitemeetingmine。Butatthistherehadtobeintercourse。\"Bymyhusband。\"
ItpulledMEupatrifle。\"Brissendenknows?\"
Shehesitated;then,asifatmytone,gavealaugh。\"Don’tyousupposeI’vetoldhim?\"
Ireallycouldn’tbutadmireher。\"Ah——soyouHAVEtalked!\"
Itdidn’tconfoundher。\"One’shusbandisn’ttalk。You’recruelmoreover,\"
shecontinued,\"tomyjoke。ItwasBriss,poordear,whotalked——though,Imean,onlytome。HEknows。\"
Icastabout。\"Sincewhen?\"
Butshehaditready。\"Sincethisevening。\"
OncemoreIcouldn’tbutsmile。\"Justintimethen!AndtheWAYheknows——?\"
\"Oh,theway!\"——shehadatthisaslightdrop。Butshecameupagain。
\"Itakehisword。\"
\"Youhaven’tthenaskedhim?\"
\"Thebeautyofitwas——halfanhourago,upstairs——thatIHADN’Ttoask。Hecameoutwithithimself,andTHAT——togiveyouthewholething——was,ifyoulike,mymoment。Hedroppeditonme,\"shecontinuedtoexplain,\"withoutintheleast,sweetinnocent,knowingwhathewasdoing;more,atleast,thatis,thangiveheraway。\"
\"Which,\"Iconcurred,\"wascomparativelynothing!\"
Butshehadnoearforirony,andshemadeoutstillmoreofherstory。
\"He’ssimple——buthesees。\"
\"Andwhenhesees\"——Icompletedthepicture——\"heluckilytells。\"
Shequiteagreedwithmethatitwaslucky,butwithoutprejudicetohisacutenessandtowhathadbeeninhimmoreoveranaturalrevulsion。
\"Hehasseen,inshort;therecomessomechancewhenonedoes。His,asluckilyasyouplease,camethisevening。IfyouaskmewhatitshowedhimyouaskmorethanI’VEeithercaredorhadtimetoask。Doyouconsider,forthatmatter\"——sheputittome——\"thatonedoesask?\"Asherhighsmoothness——suchwasthewonderofthisreascendancy——almostdeprivedmeofmymeans,shewaswiseandgentlewithme。\"Letusleaveitalone。\"
Ifairly,whilemylookatherturnedrueful,scratchedmyhead。\"Don’tyouthinkitalittlelateforthat?\"
\"Lateforeverything!\"sheimpatientlysaid。\"Butthereyouare。\"
Ifixedthefloor。ThereindeedIwas。ButItriedtostaythere——justthereonly——asshortatimeaspossible。Something,moreover,afterall,caughtmeup。\"ButifBrissendenalreadyknew——?\"
\"Ifheknew?\"Shestillgaveme,withoutprejudicetoheringenuity——andindeeditwasapartofthis——alltheworkshecould。
\"Why,thatLongandLadyJohnwerethick?\"
\"Ah,then,\"shecried,\"youadmittheyARE!\"
\"AmInotadmittingeverythingyoutellme?ButthemoreIadmit,\"I
explained,\"themoreImustunderstand。It’sTOadmit,yousee,thatI
inquire。IfBrisscamedownwithLadyJohnyesterdaytoobligeMr。Long——\"
\"Hedidn’tcome,\"sheinterrupted,\"toobligeMr。Long!\"
\"Well,then,toobligeLadyJohnherself——\"
\"Hedidn’tcometoobligeLadyJohnherself!\"
\"Well,then,toobligehiscleverwife——\"
\"Hedidn’tcometoobligehiscleverwife!Hecame,\"saidMrs。Briss,\"justtoamusehimself。HeHAShisamusements,andit’sodd,\"sheremarkablylaughed,\"thatyoushouldgrudgethemtohim!\"
\"ItwouldbeoddindeedifIdid!Butputhisproceeding,\"Icontinued,\"onanygroundyoulike;youdescribedtomethepurposeofitasascreeningofthepair。\"
\"Idescribedtoyouthepurposeofitasnothingofthesort。Ididn’tdescribetoyouthepurposeofit,\"saidMrs。Briss,\"atall。Idescribedtoyou,\"shetriumphantlysetforth,\"theEFFECTofit——whichisaverydifferentthing。\"
Icouldonlymeetherwithadmiration。\"You’reofanastuteness——!\"
\"OfcourseI’mofanastuteness!ISEEeffects。AndIsawthatone。
HowmuchBrisshimselfhadseenitis,asI’vetoldyou,anothermatter;
andwhathehad,atanyrate,quitetakentheaffairforwasthesortofflirtationinwhich,ifoneisafriendtoeitherparty,andone’sownfeelingsarenotatstake,onemaynowandthengivepeoplealift。Haven’tIaskedyoubefore,\"shedemanded,\"ifyousupposehewouldhavegivenonehadhehadanideawherethesepeopleARE?\"
\"Iscarceknowwhatyouhaveaskedmebefore!\"Isighed;\"and’wheretheyare’isjustwhatyouhaven’ttoldme。\"
\"It’swheremyhusbandwassoannoyedunmistakablytodiscoverthem。\"
Andasifshehadquitefixedthepointshepassedtoanother。\"He’speculiar,dearoldBriss,butinawaybywhich,ifoneuseshim——bywhich,Imean,ifonedependsonhim——atall,onegains,Ithink,morethanoneloses。
Uptoacertainpoint,inanycasethat’stheleastacaseforsubtlety,heseesnothingatall;butbeyondit——whenoncehedoeswakeup——he’llgothroughahouse。Nothingthenescapeshim,andwhathedragstolightissometimesappalling。\"
\"Rather,\"Ithoughtfullyresponded——\"sincewitnessthisoccasion!\"
\"Butisn’ttheinterestofthisoccasion,asI’vealreadysuggested,\"
shepropounded,\"simplythatitmakesanend,burstsabubble,ridsusofanincubusandpermitsustogotobedinpeace?IthankGod,\"shemoralised,\"fordearoldBrissto—night。\"
\"SodoI,\"Iafteramomentreturned;\"butIshalldosowithstillgreaterfervourifyou’llhaveforthespaceofanotherquestionastillgreaterpatience。\"Withwhich,asafinalmovementfromherseemedtosayhowmuchthiswastoask,IhadonmyownsideacertainexasperationofsorenessforallIhadtoacknowledge——evenwereitmereacknowledgment——thatshehadbroughtrattlingdown。\"Remember,\"Ipleaded,\"thatyou’recostingmeaperfectpalaceofthought!\"
Icouldseetoothat,heldunexpectedlybysomethinginmytone,shereallytookitin。Couldn’tIevenalmostseethat,foranoddinstant,sheregrettedtheblightedpleasureofthepursuitoftruthwithme?I
needed,atallevents,nobetterproofeitherofthesweetorofthebitterinhercomprehensionthantheaccentwithwhichshereplied:\"Oh,thosewholiveinglasshouses——\"
\"Shouldn’t——no,Iknowtheyshouldn’t——throwstones;andthat’spreciselywhyIdon’t。\"Ihadtakenherimmediatelyup,andIheldherbyitandbysomethingbetterstill。\"You,fromyourfortressofgranite,canchuckthemaboutasyouwill!Allthemorereason,however,\"Iquicklyadded,\"that,beforemyfrail,but,asImaintain,quitesublimestructure,youhonourme,forafewseconds,withanintelligentlookatit。Iseemmyselftoseeitagain,perfectineverypart,\"Ipursued,\"evenwhileIthusspeaktoyou,andtofeelafreshthat,weren’tthewretchedaccidentofitsweakfoundation,itwouldn’thavetheshadowofaflaw。I’vespokenofitinmyconceivableregret,\"Iconceded,\"asalreadyamereheapofdisfiguredfragments;butthatwastheextravaganceofmyvexation,mydespair。It’sinpointoffactsobeautifullyfittedthatitcomesapartpiecebypiece——which,sofarasthatgoes,you’veseenitdointhelastquarterofanhouratyourowntouch,quitehandingmethepieces,onebyone,yourselfandwatchingmestackthemalongtheground。They’renoteveninthisstate——see!\"Iwoundup——\"apileofruins!\"Iwoundup,asIsay,butonlyforlongenoughtohave,withthevibration,theexaltation,ofmyeloquence,mysmalltriumphasagainsthergreatone。\"Ishouldalmostlike,piecebypiece,tohandthembacktoyou。\"AndthistimeIcompletedmyfigure。\"Ibelievethat,fortheverycharmofit,you’dfindyourselfplacingthembyyourownsenseintheirorderandrearingoncemorethesplendidpile。WillyoutakejustONEofthemfrommeagain,\"Iinsisted,\"andletmeseeifonlytohaveitinyourhandsdoesn’tpositivelystartyouoff?That’swhatImeantjustnowbyaskingyouforanotheranswer。\"
Shehadremainedsilent,asifreallyinthepresenceoftherisingmagnificenceofmymetaphor,anditwasnottoolatefortheonechanceleftme。\"Therewasnothing,youknow,IhadsofittedasyouraccountofpoorMrs。Serverwhen,onourseeingthem,fromtheterrace,togetherbelow,youstruckoffyourexplanationthatoldBrisswasHERscreenforLong。\"
\"Fitted?\"——andtherewassincerityinhersurprise。\"Ithoughtmystupidideatheoneforwhichyouhadexactlynouse!\"
\"Ihadnouse,\"Iinstantlyconcurred,\"foryourstupididea,butI
hadgreatuseforyourstupidly,alas!havingit。THATfittedbeautifully,\"
Ismiled,\"tillthepiececameout。Andevennow,\"Iadded,\"Idon’tfeelitquiteaccountedfor。\"
\"Theirbeingtheretogether?\"
\"No。Yournotlikingitthattheywere。\"
Shestared。\"Notlikingit?\"
Icouldseehowlittleindeedshemindednow,butIalsokeptthethreadofmyownintellectualhistory。\"Yes。YournotlikingitiswhatIspeakofasthepiece。Iholdit,yousee,upbeforeyou。What,artistically,wouldyoudowithit?\"
Butonemighttakeahorsetowater——!Ihelditupbeforeher,butIcouldn’tmakeherlookatit。\"HowdoyouknowwhatImayn’t,ormay,haveliked?\"
Itdidbringmeto。\"Becauseyouwereconsciousofnottellingme?Well,evenifyoudidn’t——!\"
\"Thatmadenodifference,\"sheinquiredwithagenerousderision,\"becauseyoucouldalwaysimagine?Ofcourseyoucouldalwaysimagine——whichispreciselywhatisthematterwithyou!ButI’msurprisedatyourcomingtomewithitoncemoreasevidenceofanything。\"
Istoodrebuked,andevenmoresothanIshowedher,forsheneed,obviously,onlydeclinetotakeoneofmycounterstodepriveitofallvalueascoin。
WhenshepusheditacrossIhadbuttopocketitagain。\"ItIStheweaknessofmycase,\"IfeeblyandIdaresayawkwardlymusedather,\"thatanyparticularthingyoudon’tgrantmebecomesstraightwaythestrengthofyours。Ofcourse,however\"——andIgavemyselfashake——\"I’mabsolutelyrejoicing(amInot?)inthestrengthofyours。Theweaknessofmyowniswhat,underyourinstruction,I’mnowgoinginto;butdon’tyouseehowmuchweakeritwillshowifIdrawfromyouthefullexpressionofyourindifference?
HowCOULDyouinfactcarewhenwhatyouwereattheverymomenturgingonmesohardwastheextravaganceofMrs。Server’sconduct?Thatextravagancethenprovedher,toyoureyes,thewomanwhohadaconnectionwithLongtokeeptheworldoffthescentof——thoughyoumaintainedthatinspiteofthedustshekickedupbyitshewas,atapinch,nowandthentobecaughtwithhim。ThatinsteadofbeingcaughtwithhimshewascaughtonlywithBrissendenannoyedyounaturallyforthemoment;butwhatwasthatannoyancecomparedtoyourappreciationofhershowing——byundertakingyourhusband,ofallpeople!——justthemoremarkedlyASextravagant?\"
Shehadbeensufficientlyinterestedthistimetofollowme。\"Whatwasitindeed?\"
Igreetedheracquiescence,butIinsisted。\"Andyetifsheisextravagant——whatdoyoudowithit?\"
\"Ithoughtyouwouldn’thearofit!\"sheexclaimed。
Isoughttocombinefirmnesswithmymildness。\"Whatdoyoudowithit?\"
Butshecouldmatchmeatthis。\"Ithoughtyouwouldn’thearofit!\"
\"It’snotaquestionofmydispositions。It’saquestionofherhavingbeen,ornotbeen,foryou’allovertheplace,’andofeveryone’salsobeing,foryou,onthechatteraboutit。YougobythatinrespecttoLong——byyourholding,thatis,thatnothinghasbeennoticed;thereforemustn’tyougobyitinrespecttoHER——sinceIunderstandfromyouthateverythinghas?\"
\"Everythingalwaysis,\"Mrs。Brissagreeablyreplied,\"inaplaceandapartylikethis;butsolittle——anythinginparticular——that,withpeoplemoving’everywhich’way,itcomestothesameasifnothingwas。Thingsarenot,also,gougedouttoYOURtune,anditdepends,stillfurther,onwhatyoumeanby’extravagant。\"’
\"Imeanwhateveryouyourselfmeant。\"
\"Well,Imyselfmeannolonger,youknow,whatIdidmean。\"
\"Sheisn’tthen——?\"
Butsuddenlyshewasalmostsharpwithme。\"Isn’twhat?\"
\"Whatthewomanwesoearnestlylookedforwouldhavetobe。\"
\"Allgone?\"Shehadhesitated,butshewentonwithdecision。\"No,sheisn’tallgone,sincetherewasenoughofherlefttomakeuptopoorBriss。\"
\"Precisely——andit’sjustwhatwesaw,andjustwhat,withherotherdashesofthesamesort,ledustohavetofacethequestionofherbeing——well,whatIsay。Orrather,\"Iadded,\"whatYOUsay。Thatis,\"Iamended,tokeepperfectlystraight,\"whatyousayyouDON’Tsay。\"
Itookindeedtoomanyprecautionsformyfriendnottohavetolookatthem。\"Extravagant?\"Theirritationofthewordhadgrownforher,yetIriskedrepeatingit,andwiththeeffectofitsgivingheranotherpause。
\"ItellyousheISN’Tthat!\"
\"Exactly;andit’sonlytoaskyouwhatintheworldthensheIS。\"
\"She’shorrid!\"saidMrs。Briss。
\"’Horrid’?\"Igloomilyechoed。
\"Horrid。Itwasn’t,\"shethendevelopedwithdecision,\"a’dash,’asyousay,’ofthesamesort’——thoughgoodnessknowsofwhatsortyoumean:
itwasn’t,tobeplain,a’dash’atall。\"MycompanionWASplain。\"Shesettled。Shestuck。\"Andfinally,asIcouldbutechoheragain:\"Shemadelovetohim。\"
\"But——a——really?\"
\"Really。That’showIknew。\"
Iwasatsea。\"’Knew’?Butyousaw。\"
\"Iknew——thatisIlearnt——morethanIsaw。Iknewshecouldn’tbegone。\"
Itinfactbroughtlight。\"KnewitbyHIM?\"
\"Hetoldme,\"saidMrs。Briss。
Itbroughtlight,butitbroughtalso,Ifear,forme,anotherqueergrimace。\"Doeshethenregularlytell?\"
\"Regularly。Butwhathetells,\"shedidherselfthejusticetodeclare,\"isnotalwayssomuchtothepointasthetwothingsI’verepeatedtoyou。\"
TheirweightthensuggestedthatIshouldhavethemoveragain。\"Hisrevelation,inthefirstplace,ofLongandLadyJohn?\"
\"Andhisrevelationinthesecond\"——shespokeofitasabroadjoke——\"ofMayServerandhimself。\"
Therewassomethinginherjokethatwasachilltomymind;butIneverthelessplayedup。\"Andwhatdoeshesaythat’sfurtherinterestingaboutTHAT?\"
\"Why,thatshe’sawfullysharp。\"
Igasped——sheturneditoutso。\"SHE——Mrs。Server?\"
Itmadeher,however,equallystare。\"Why,isn’tittheverythingyoumaintained?\"
Ifeltherdreadfullogic,butIcouldn’t——withmyexquisiteimageallcontrasted,asinaflashfromflint,withthismonstrosity——somuchasentertainherquestion。Icouldonlystupidlyagainsoundit。\"Awfullysharp?\"
\"Youafterallthennowdon’t?\"Itwassheherselfwhomthewordsatpresentdescribed!\"ThenwhatonearthDOyouthink?\"Thestrangemixtureinmyfacenaturallymadeheraskit,buteverything,withinaminute,hadsomehowsogivenwayunderthetouchofhersupremeassurance,thepresentationofherownnowfinishedsystem,thatIdaresayIcouldn’tatthemomenthaveintheleasttrustedmyselftotellher。Sheleftme,however,infact,smalltime——sheonlytookenough,withhernegationsarrayedandherinsolencerecaptured,tojudgemeafresh,whichshedidasshegatheredherselfupintothestrengthoftwenty—five。Ididn’tafterall——itappearedpartofmysmash——knowtheweightofherhusband’syears,butIknewtheweightofmyown。Theymighthavebeenathousand,andnothingbutthesenseofthemwouldinamoment,Isaw,beleftme。\"Mypoordear,youAREcrazy,andIbidyougood—night!\"
Nothingbutthesenseofthem——onmytakingitfromherwithoutasoundandwatchingher,throughthelightedrooms,retreatanddisappear——WAS
atfirstleftme;butafteraminutesomethingelsecame,andIgrewconsciousthatherverdictlingered。Shehadsohadthelastwordthat,togetoutofitsplantedpresence,Ishookmyself,asIhaddonebefore,frommythought。WhenonceIhadstartedtomyroomindeed——andtopreparationforalivelierstartassoonasthehouseshouldstiragain——Ialmostbreathlesslyhurried。Suchalastword——thewordthatputmealtogethernowhere——wastoounacceptablenottoprescribeafreshthatprompttestofescapetootherairforwhichIhadearlierintheeveningseensomuchreason。I
SHOULDcertainlyneveragain,onthespot,quitehangtogether,eventhoughitwasn’treallythatIhadn’tthreetimeshermethod。WhatItoofatallylackedwashertone。