第46章

类别:其他 作者:Frances Hodgson Burnett字数:9505更新时间:19/01/07 14:57:26
\"Youwon’twantyourhorseto—night,becauseyoucan’tusehim,\"hesaid。\"IshallputMissVanderpoel’ssaddleuponhimandridewithherbacktoStornham。Youthinkyouarecuttopieces,butyouarenot,andyou’llgetoverit。I’llaskyoutomark,however,thatifyouopenyourfoulmouthtoinsinuateliesconcerningeitherLadyAnstruthersorhersisterIwilldothisthingagaininpublicsomeday——onthestepsofyourclub——anddoitmorethoroughly。\" Hewalkedintothecottagesoonafterwardslooking,toBettyVanderpoel’seyes,paleandexceptionallybig,andalsomoreamanthanitisoftengiveneventothemostvirilemalecreaturetolook——andhewalkedtothesideofherrestingplaceandstoodtherelookingdown。 \"IthoughtIheardadoghowl,\"shesaid。 \"Youdidhearadoghowl,\"heanswered。Hesaidnootherword,andsheaskednofurtherquestion。Sheknewwhathehaddone,andhewaswellawarethatsheknewit。 Therewasalong,strangelytensesilence。Thelightofthemoonwasgrowing。Shemadeatfirstnoefforttorise,butlaystillandlookedupathimfromundersplendidliftedlashes,whilehisowngazefellintothedepthofherslikeaplummetintoadeeppool。Thiscontinuedforalmostafullminute,whenheturnedquicklyawayandwalkedtothehearth,indrawingaheavybreath。 Hecouldnotendurethatwhichbesethim;itwasunbearable,becausehereyeshadmaddeninglyseemedtoaskhimsomewistfulquestion。Whydidsheletherlovelinesssocalltohim。Shewasnotatriflerwhocouldplaywithmeanings。 Perhapsshedidnotknowwhatherpowerwas。Sometimeshecouldbelievethatbeautifulwomendidnot。 Inafewmoments,almostbeforehecouldreachher,shewasrising,andwhenshegotupshesupportedherselfagainsttheopendoor,standinginthemoonlight。Ifhewaspale,shewaspalealso,andherlargeeyeswouldnotmovefromhisface,sodrawinghimthathecouldnotkeepawayfromher。 \"Listen,\"hebrokeoutsuddenly。\"Penzancetoldme—— warnedme——thatsometimeamomentwouldcomewhichwouldbestrongerthanallelseinaman——thanallelseintheworld。Ithascomenow。Letmetakeyouhome。\" \"Thanwhatelse?\"shesaidslowly,andbecameevenpalerthanbefore。 Hestrovetoreleasehimselffromthepossessionofthemoment,andinhisstruggleansweredwithasortofsavagery。 \"Thanscruple——thanpower——eventhanaman’sdeterminationanddecentpride。\" \"Areyouproud?\"shehalfwhisperedquitebrokenly。\"I amnot——sinceIwaitedfortheringingofthechurchbell—— sinceIheardittoll。Afterthattheworldwasempty——anditwasasemptyofdecentprideasofeverythingelse。Therewasnothingleft。Iwasthehumblestbrokenthingonearth。\" \"You!\"hegasped。\"DoyouknowIthinkIshallgomaddirectlyperhapsitishappeningnow。YOUwerehumbleandbroken——yourworldwasempty!Because————?\" \"Lookatme,LordMountDunstan,\"andthesweetestvoiceintheworldwasatender,wildlittlecrytohim。\"OhLOOKatme!\" Hecaughtherout—thrownhandsandlookeddownintothebeautifulpassionatesoulofher。Themomenthadcome,andthetidalwaverisingtoitsheightsweptallthecommonearthawaywhen,withasavagesob,hecaughtandheldhercloseandhardagainstthatwhichthuddedracinginhisbreast。 Andtheystoodandswayedtogether,foldedineachother’sarms,whilethewindfromthemarsheslifteditsvoicelikeanexultinghumanthingasitsweptaboutthem。 CHAPTERXLIX ATSTORNHAMANDATBROADMORLANDS Theexultingwindhadsweptthecloudsaway,andthemoonrodeinadarkblueseaofsky,makingthenightlightpurelyclear,whentheydrewalittleapart,thattheymightbetterseethewonderfulnessineachother’sfaces。Itwassomysteriouslygreatathingthattheyfeltneartoawe。 \"Ifoughttoolong。Iworeoutmybody’sendurance,andnowIamquakinglikeaboy。RedGodwyndidnotbeginhiswooinglikethis。Forgiveme,\"MountDunstansaidatlast。 \"Doyouknow,\"withlovelytremblinglipsandvoice,\"thatforlong——long——youhavebeenunkindtome?\" Itwasmerelyhumanthatheshouldswiftlyenfoldheragain,andanswerwithhislipsagainsthercheek。 \"Unkind!Unkind!Oh,theheavenlywoman’ssweetnessofyourtellingmeso——theheavenlysweetnessofit!\"heexclaimedpassionatelyandlow。\"AndIwasoneofthosewhoare`bytheroadsideeverywhere,’anunkempt,ragingbeggar,whomightnotdecentlyaskyouforacrust。\" \"Itwasallwrong——wrong!\"shewhisperedbacktohim,andhepouredforththetenderest,fiercewordsofconfessionandprayer,andshelistened,drinkingthemin,withnowandthenasoftsobpressedagainsttheroughnessoftheenrapturingtweed。Foraspacetheyhadbothforgottenherhurt,becausethereareotherthingsthanterrorwhichhypnotisepain。MountDunstanwastobepraisedforrememberingitfirst。HemusttakeherbacktoStornhamandhersisterwithoutfurtherdelay。 \"IwillputyoursaddleonAnstruthers’horse,ormine,andliftyoutoyourseat。Thereisafarmhouseabouttwomilesaway,whereIwilltakeyoufirstforfoodandwarmth。Perhapsitwouldbewellforyoutostaytheretorestforanhourorso,andIwillsendamessagetoLadyAnstruthers。\" \"Iwillgototheplace,andeatanddrinkwhatyouadvise,\"sheanswered。\"ButIbegyoutotakemebacktoRosaliewithoutdelay。IfeelthatImustseeher。\" \"IfeelthatImustseeher,too,\"hesaid。\"Butforher——Godblessher!\"headded,afterhissuddenpause。 Bettyknewthattheexclamationmeantstrongfeeling,andthatsomehowinthepasthoursRosaliehadawakenedit。Butitwasonlywhen,aftertheirrefreshmentatthefarm,theyhadtakenhorseagainandwereridinghomewardtogether,thatsheheardfromhimwhathadpassedbetweenthem。 \"Allthathasledtothismayseemthemerestchance,\" hesaid。\"Butsurelyastrangethinghascomeabout。I knowthatwithoutunderstandingit。\"Heleanedoverandtouchedherhand。\"You,whoareLife——withoutunderstandingIrideherebesideyou,believingthatyoubroughtmeback。\" \"Itried——Itried!Withallmystrength,Itried。\" \"AfterIhadseenyoursisterto—day,Iguessed——Iknew。 Butnotatfirst。Iwasnotillofthefever,asexcitedrumourhadit;butIwasill,andthedoctorsandthevicarwerealarmed。Ihadfoughttoolong,andIwasgivingup,asI haveseenthepoorfellowsintheballroomgiveup。Iftheywerenotdraggedbacktheyslippedoutofone’shands。Ifthefeverhaddeveloped,allwouldhavebeenoverquickly。 Iknewthedoctorsfearedthat,andIamashamedtosayI wasgladofit。But,yesterday,inthemorning,whenIwaslettingmyselfgowithamorbidpleasureintheluxuriousreliefofit——somethingreachedme——someslowrisingcalltoeffortandlife。\" Sheturnedtowardshiminhersaddle,listening,herlipsparted。 \"Ididnotevenaskmyselfwhatwashappening,butI begantobeconsciousofbeingdrawnback,andtolongintenselytoseeyouagain。Iwasgraduallyfilledwitharestlessfeelingthatyouwerenearme,andthat,thoughIcouldnotphysicallyhearyourvoice,youweresurelyCALLINGtome。Itwasthethingwhichcouldnotbe——butitwas——andbecauseofitIcouldnotletmyselfdrift。\" \"Ididcallyou!IwasonmykneesinthechurchaskingtobeforgivenifIprayedmadprayers——butprayingthesamethingoverandover。Thevillagerswerekneelingthere,too。 Theycrowdedin,leavingeverythingelse。Youaretheirhero,andtheywereindeepearnest。\" Hislookwasgravelypondering。Hislifehadnotmadeamysticofhim——itwasPenzancewhowasthemystic——buthefelthimselfperplexedbymysteriouslysuggestivethought。 \"Iwasbroughtback——Iwasbroughtback,\"hesaid。\"IntheafternoonIfellasleepandsleptprofoundlyuntilthemorning。WhenIawoke,IrealisedthatIwasaremademan。 ThedoctorswerealmostawedwhenIfirstspoketothem。 OldDr。Fenwickdiedlater,and,afterIhadheardaboutit,thechurchbellwastolled。ItwasheardatWeaver’sfarm— house,and,aseverybodyhadbeenexcitedlywaitingforthesound,itconveyedbutoneideatothem——andtheboywassentracingacrossthefieldstoStornhamvillage。Dearest! Dearest!\"heexclaimed。 Shehadbowedherheadandburstintopassionatesobbing。 Becauseshewasnotofthewomenwhowept,hermoment’spassionwasstrongandbitter。 \"Itneednothavebeen!\"sheshuddered。\"Onecannotbearit——becauseitneednothavebeen!\" \"Stopyourhorseamoment,\"hesaid,reininginhisown,while,withburningeyesandswellingthroat,heheldandsteadiedher。Buthedidnotknowthatneitherhersisternorherfatherhadeverseenherinsuchmood,andthatshehadneversoseenherself。 \"Youshallnotrememberit,\"hesaidtoher。 \"Iwillnot,\"sheanswered,recoveringherself。\"Butforonemomentalltheawfulhoursrushedback。Tellmetherest。\" \"WedidnotknowthattheblunderhadbeenmadeuntilamessengerfromDolerodeovertoinquireandbringmessagesofcondolence。ThenweunderstoodwhathadoccurredandIownasortoffrenzyseizedme。IknewImustseeyou,and,thoughthedoctorswerehorriblynervous,theydarenotholdmeback。ThedaybeforeitwouldnothavebeenbelievedthatIcouldleavemyroom。Youwerecryingouttome,andthoughIdidnotknow,Iwasanswering,bodyandsoul。PenzanceknewImusthavemywaywhenIspoketohim——madasitseemed。WhenIrodethroughStornhamvillage,morethanonewomanscreamedatsightofme。Ishallnotbeabletoblotoutofmymindyoursister’sface。Shewilltellyouwhatwesaidtoeachother。IrodeawayfromtheCourtquitehalfmad————\"hisvoicebecameverygentle,\"becauseofsomethingshehadtoldmeinthefirstwildmoments。\" LadyAnstruthershadspentthenightmovingrestlesslyfromoneroomtoanother,andhadnotbeentobedwhentheyrodesidebysideuptheavenueintheearlymorningsunlight。Anunderkeeper,crossingtheparkafewhundredyardsabovethem,afteroneglance,dashedacrosstheswardtothecourtyardandtheservants’hall。Thenewsflashedelectricallythroughthehouse,andRosalie,likeasmallghost,cameoutuponthestepsastheyreinedin。Thoughherlipsmoved,shecouldnotspeakaloud,asshewatchedMountDunstanlifthersisterfromherhorse。 \"ChildeHaroldstumbledandIhurtmyfoot,\"saidBetty,tryingtobecalm。 \"Iknewhewouldfindyou!\"Rosalieansweredquitefaintly。\"Iknewyouwould!\"turningtoMountDunstan,adoringhimwithallthemeaningofhersmallpaledface。 Shewouldhavebeenafraidofhermemoryofwhatshehadsaidinthestrangescenewhichhadtakenplacebeforethemafewhoursago,butalmostbeforeeitherofthetwospokesheknewthatagreatgulfhadbeencrossedinsomeoneinevitable,thoughunforeseen,leap。Howithadbeentaken,whenorwhere,didnotintheleastmatter,whensheclungtoBettyandBettyclungtoher。 Afterafewmomentsofmovedandreverentwaiting,theadmirableJenningssteppedforwardandaddressedherinloweredvoice。 \"There’sbeenlittlesleepinthevillagethisnight,mylady,\" hemurmuredearnestly。\"Ipromisedtheyshouldhaveasign,withyourpermission。Iftheflagwasrunup——they’realllookingout,andthey’dknow。\" \"Runitup,Jennings,\"LadyAnstruthersanswered,\"atonce。\" Whenitranupthestaffonthetowerandflutteredoutingayansweringtothemorningbreeze,childreninthevillagebegantorunaboutshouting,menandwomenappearedatcottagedoors,andmorethanonecapwasthrownupintheair。ButoldDobyandMrs。Welden,whohadbeenwaitingforhours,standingbyMrs。Welden’sgate,caughteachother’sdry,tremblingoldhandsandbegantocry。 TheBroadmorlandsdivorcescandal,havingmadeconversationduringaseasonquitefortyyearsbeforeMissVanderpoelappearedatStornhamCourt,hadbeenlaiduponalowershelfandburiedbeneathotherstorieslongenoughtobeforgotten。Onlyoneindividualhadnotforgottenit,andhewastheDukeofBroadmorlandshimself,inwhoseminditremainedhideouslyclear。Hehadbeenayoungman,honestlyandmuchinlovewhenitfirstrevealeditselftohim,andforafewmonthshehadeventhoughtitmightendbybeinghisdeath,notwithstandingthathewasstrongandinfirst—ratephysicalcondition。Hehadbeenafine,heartyyoungmanofcleanandratherdignifiedlife,thoughhewasnotunderstoodtobebrilliantofmind。Privatelyhehadidealsconnectedwithhisrankandnamewhichhewasnotfluentenoughclearlytoexpress。Afterhehadrealisedthatheshouldnotdieofthepublichumiliationanddisgrace,whichseemedtopointhimoutashavingbeenthekindofgulliblefoolitisscarcelypossibletoavoidlaughingat——or,soitseemedtohiminhisheart—searedfrenzy——hethoughtitnotimprobablethatheshouldgomad。HewasharriedsobymemoriesoflovelylittlesoftwaysofEdith’s(hiswife’snamewasEdith),oftheprettysoundofherlaugh,andofherinnocent,girlishhabitofkneelingdownbyherbedsideeverynightandmorningtosayherprayers。Thishadsotouchedhimthathehadsometimeskneltdowntosayhis,too,sayingtoher,withslightawkwardboyishness,thatafellowwhohadasortofangelforhiswifeoughttodohisbesttobelieveinthethingsshebelievedin。 \"Andallthetime————!\"adevilwholaughedusedtosniggerinhisearoverandoveragain,untilitwasalmostlikethetickingofaclockduringtheworstmonths,whenitdidnotseemprobablethatamancouldfeelhisbrainwhirlinglikeaCatherinewheelnightandday,andstillmanagetoholdonandnotreachthepointofhowlingandshriekinganddashinghisskullagainstwailsandfurniture。 Butthatpassedintime,andhetoldhimselfthathepassedwithit。SincethenhehadlivedchieflyatBroadmorlandsCastle,andwasspokenofasamanwhohadbecomereligious,whichwasnottrue,but,havingreachedthedecisionthatreligionwasgoodformostpeople,hepaidagooddealofattentiontohischurchandschools,andwasrigorousinthematterofcurates。 Hehadpassedseventynow,andwassomewhatdespoticandhaughty,becauseamanwhoisaDukeanddoesnotgooutintotheworldtorubagainstmenofhisownclassandothers,butlivesaltogetheronagreatandsplendidestate,salutedbyeverycreaturehemeets,anduniversallyobeyedandcountedbeforeallelse,isnotunlikelytoforgetthatheisaquiteordinaryhumanbeing,andnotasortofmonarch。 HehaddonehisbesttoforgetEdith,whohadsoondiedofbeingashadycurate’swifeinAustralia,buthehadnotbeenabletoencompassit。Heused,occasionally,todreamshewaskneelingbythebedinherchildishnightgownsayingherprayersaloud,andwouldwakencrying——ashehadcriedinthoseawfulyoungdays。Againstsocialimmoralityorvillagelight—mindednesshewasrelentlesslysavage。Heallowedfornopalliatingorexoneratingfacts。Hebegantoseeredwhenheheardoforsawlightnessinamarriedwoman,andtheoutsideworldfrequentlysaidthatthischaracteristicborderedonmonomania。 NigelAnstruthers,havingmethimonceortwice,hadatfirstbeenmuchamusedbyhim,andhadeven,bygivinghimanadroitlycarefullead,managedtoguidehimintoanexpressionofopinion。TheDuke,whohadheardmenofhisclassdiscussed,didnotintheleastlikehim,notwithstandinghissympatheticsuavityofmannerandhisairofbeingintelligentlyimpressedbywhatheheard。Notlongafterwards,however,ittranspiredthattheagedrectorofBroadmorlandshavingdied,thelivinghadbeengiventoFfolliott,and,hearingit,SirNigelwasnotslowtoconjecturethatquitedecentlyutilisabletoolswouldliereadytohishandifcircumstancespressed;thispointofview,itwillbeseen,beingnotillogical。Amanwhohadnotbeenasortofhermitwouldhaveheardenoughofhimtobeputonhisguard,andonewhowasamanoftheworld,lookingnormallyonexistence,wouldhavereasonedcoolly,anddeclinedtoconcernhimselfaboutwhatwasnothisaffair。ButaparallelmightbedrawnbetweenBroadmorlandsandsomeoldlionwoundedsorelyinhisyouthandlefttodraghisunhealedtormentthroughtheyearsofage。Ononesubjecthehadnopointofviewbuthisown,andcouldberousedtofuryalmostsenselessbywhollyinadequatelysupportedfacts。Hepresentedexactlythematerialrequired——andthatinmass。 AboutthetimetheflagwasrunuponthetoweratStornhamCourtacarter,drivingwhistlingontheroadnearthedesertedcottage,washailedbyamanwhowaswalkingslowlyafewyardsaheadofhim。Thecarterthoughtthathewasatramp,ashisclotheswereplainlyinbadcase,whichseeing,hisanswerwasanunceremoniousgrunt,anditcertainlydidnotoccurtohimtotouchhisforehead。Aminutelater,however,he\"gotastart,\"asherelatedafterwards。Thetrampwasagentlemanwhoseridingcostumewastornandmuddied,andwholooked\"gashly,\"thoughhespokewiththemannerandauthoritywhichBinns,thecarter,recognisedasthatofoneofthe\"gentry\"addressingaday—labourer。 \"HowfarisitfromheretoMedham?\"heinquired。 \"Medhambeaboutfourmile,sir,\"wastheanswer。\"I becarryin’these’taterstheretomarket。\" \"Iwanttogetthere。Ihavemetwithanaccident。Myhorsetookfrightatapheasantstartinguprockettingunderhisnose。Hethrewmeintoahedgeandbolted。I’mbadlyenoughbruisedtowanttoreachatownandseeadoctor。Canyougivemealift?\" \"ThatIwill,sir,readyenough,\"makingroomontheseatbesidehim。\"Youbebruisedbad,sir,\"hesaidsympathetically,ashispassengerclimbedtohisplace,withatwistedfaceandutteringblasphemiesunderhisbreath。 \"Damnedbadly,\"heanswered。\"Nobonesbroken,however。\" \"Thatcutonyourcheekandneck’llneedplasterin’,sir。\" \"That’sascratch。Thornbush,\"curtly。 Sympathywasplainlynotwelcome。InfactBinnswassoonoftheopinionthatherewasanuglycustomer,gentlemanornogentleman。Ajoltingcartwas,however,notthebestplaceforamanwhoseemedsorefromheadtofoot,anddoneforoutandout。Hesatandgroundhisteeth,asheclungtotheroughseatintheattempttosteadyhimself。Hebecamemoreandmore\"gashly,\"andacertainawfullightinhiseyesalarmedthecarterbyleapingupateveryjolt。BinnswasgladwhenhelefthimatMedhamArms,andfelthehadearnedthehalf—sovereignhandedtohim。 FourdaysAnstrutherslayinbedinaroomattheInn。Noonesawhimbutthemanwhobroughthimfood。Hedidnotsendforadoctor,becausehedidnotwishtoseeone。Hesentforsuchremediesaswereneededbyamanwhohadbeenbruisedbyafallfromhishorse。Hemadenoremarkwhichcouldbeconsideredexplanatory,afterhehadsaidirritablythatamanwasafooltogoloiteringalongonanervousbrutewhoneededwatching。Whatsoeverhappenedwashisowndamnedfault。 Throughhoursofdayandnighthelaystaringatthewhite— washedbeamsorthebluerosesonthewallpaper。Theywerelonghours,andfilledwiththingsnotpleasantenoughtodwellonindetail。Physicalmiserywhichmadeamanwritheattimeswasnottheworstpartofthem。Therewereathousandthingslessendurable。Morethanoncehefoamedatthemouth,andrecognisedthathegibberedlikeamadman。 Therewasbutonememorywhichsavedhimfromfeelingthatthiswastheveryendofthings。ThatwasthememoryofBroadmorlands。Whileamanhadaweaponleft,eventhoughitcouldnotsavehim,hemightpayupwithit——getalmosteven。ThewholeVanderpoellotcouldbeplungedneckdeepinamorasswhichwouldleavemudenoughstickingtothem,eveniftheirmoneyhelpedthemtopreventitsentirelyclosingovertheirheads。Hecouldattendtothat,and,afterhehadsetitwellgoing,hecouldgetout。TherewereIndia,SouthAfrica,Australia——adozenplacesthatwoulddo。AndthenhewouldrememberBettyVanderpoel,andcursehorriblyunderthebedclothes。ItwasthememoryofBettywhichoutdidallothersinitspowertotorment。 OnthemorningofthefifthdaytheDukeofBroadmorlandsreceivedanote,whichhereadwithsomewhatannoyedcuriosity。AcertainSirNigelAnstruthers,whomitappearedheoughttobeabletorecall,wasintheneighbourhood,andwishedtoseehimonaparochialmatterofinterest。\"Parochialmatter\"wasvague,andsowastheDuke’srecollectionofthemanwhoaddressedhim。Ifhismemoryservedhimrightly,hehadmethiminacountryhouseinSomersetshire,andhadheardthathewastheacquaintanceofthedisreputableeldestson。Whatcouldapersonofthatsorthavetosayofparochialmatters?TheDukeconsidered,andthen,inobediencetoarigorousconscience,decidedthatoneought,perhaps,togivehimhalfanhour。 Therewasthatintheintruder’saspect,whenhearrivedintheafternoon,whichproducedsomewhattheeffectofshock。Inthefirstplace,amaninhisunconcealablephysicalconditionhadnorighttobeoutofhisbed。Thoughheplainlyrefusedtoadmitthefact,hismannerofbearinghimselferect,andevenwithacertaintouchofcoolswagger,was,itwasevident,achievedonlybydeterminedeffort。Helookedlikeamanwhohadnotyetrecoveredfromsomeevilfever。SincethemeetinginSomersetshirehehadagedmorethantheyearwarranted。Despitehisobstinatefightwithhimselfitwasobviousthathewashorriblyshaky。Adisagreeablescratchorcut,runningfromcheektoneck,didnotimprovehispersonalappearance。 Hepleasedhishostnomorethanhehadpleasedhimattheirfirstencounter;he,infact,repelledhimstrongly,bysuggestingadegreeofabnormalityofmoodwhichwassmoothedoverbyanattemptatentirenormalityofmanner。 TheDukedidnotpresentanapproachablefrontas,afterAnstruthershadtakenachair,hesatandexaminedhimwithbrightblueoldeyessetdeeponeithersideofadominantnoseandframedoverbywhiteeyebrows。No,NigelAnstrutherssummedhimup,itwouldnotbeeasytoopenthematterwiththeoldfool。Heheldhimselfmagnificentlyaloof,withthatlackofmodernityinhissenseofplacewhich,evenatthislateday,sometimesexpresseditselfhereandthereinthemannerofthefeudalsurvival。 \"Iamafraidyouhavebeenill,\"withrigidcivility。 \"Amanfeelsratheranoutsiderinconfessinghehaslethishorsethrowhimintoahedge。Itwasmyownfaultentirely。IallowedmyselftoforgetthatIwasridingadangerouslynervousbrute。Iwasthinkingofapainfulandabsorbingsubject。Iwasbadlybruisedandscratched,butthatwasall。\" \"Whatdidyourdoctorsay?\"