第21章

类别:其他 作者:Ralph Connor字数:9712更新时间:19/01/07 15:02:13
\"Willyouallowmetospeaktosomeofthemenfirst,sir?\" \"Oh,certainly。Doanythingyoulike。Thereareyourmen。\" AsBarrymovedalongthelineofmendrawnupontheplatform,hewasfollowedbyarisingmurmurofadmiration,until,ashereachedagroupofofficersattheend,alittleTommy,anEnglishcockney,liftinghighhisrifle,sangout: \"Naowthen,lads,’ere’stoourO。D,\"addingafterthecheers,\"’e’sabitovolraa—ght,’eis!\" \"Men,\"saidBarry,\"Ithankyouforyourcheers,butIthankyoumoreforyoursplendidbehaviournightbeforelast。Itwasbeyondpraise。Youcouldn’tsaveallyourcomrades,butyouwouldwillinglyhavegivenyourlivestosavethem。That’sthetruespiritoftheEmpire。It’sthespiritofHumanity。It’sthespiritofGod。IfIwereacombatantofficer——\" \"You’dbeagood’un,sir,\"criedavoice。 \"IfIwereacombatantofficer,Ishouldliketoleadmenlikeyouintoaction。\" \"We’dfollowyouto’ell,sir,\"shoutedthelittlecockney。 \"Oh,Ihopenot,\"repliedBarry。\"I’mnotgoingthatway。MayI say,inwishingyoueverygoodluck,thatyouareacredittoyourcountry,andIcansaynothinghigher。Iwishtothanktheofficerswhososplendidlydidtheirdutyandgavesuchvaluableservice。Goodlucktoyou,boys,andgivemylovetoallathome。\" Againthemenbrokeintocheers,andBarry,shakinghandswiththeofficers,turnedawaytowardthecar。Ashewasenteringthecar,SergeantMatthewscameovertohim。 \"Iwanttothankyou,sir,forgettingmefreeoftheR。A。M。C。 upthere。Ifeelratherbad,butsincemywifeiswaitingtomeetmeinLondon,Iwasanxioustogetthrough。\" \"Allright,sergeant,\"repliedBarry。\"I’llgetyoutoahospitalinLondon,whenwearrive。Youarenotfeelingtoobadly,Ihope。\" \"Alittleshookup,sir,\"saidthesergeant。 AttheR。A。M。C。hospitalabitterdisappointmentawaitedhim。 HefoundthattheV。A。D。haddepartedforEngland,butjustwherenooneseemedtoknow。Inherlastlettertohim,receivedbeforethelasttourinthetrenches,shehadmentionedthepossibilityofavisittoLondon,andhadpromisedhimfurtherinformationbeforeherdeparture,butnofurtherwordhadhereceived。 HisinquiryatEtapleswasequallyunproductiveofresult。PaulaandherfatherhadalsogonetoEngland。TheyhadtakentheV。A。D。withthem,andtheiraddresswasunknown。ThematronofthehospitalbelievedthattheyhadplannedamotortriptoScotland,fortheyhadcarriedCaptainNeilFraseroffwiththem,andwereplanningavisittohishome。Theyexpectedtoreturninaboutthreeweeks。 Bythebitternessofhisdisappointment,Barryrealisedhowgreatlyhehadcountedonthismeetingwithhisfriends。WereitnotforthehopeofbeingabletodiscovertheminEngland,hewouldhaveturnedbackuptheline,thereandthen,andfoundamongtheonlyfriendshehadonthissideoftheoceanrelieffromtheintolerableweightoflonelinessthatwasbearinghimdown。 Hewalkedouttothecemetery,andstoodbesidehisfather’sgrave。 Thereforthefirsttimeitcameoverhimthathenceforthhemustgoallthewayofhislifewithoutthesightofthatface,withoutthetouchofthathandonhisshoulder,withoutthecheerofthatvoice。Infloodshissenseoflossswepthissoul。Ittookallhismanhoodtorefrainfromthrowinghimselfproneuponthelittlemoundandyieldingtotheagonythatfloodedhissoul,andthatwroughtinhisheartphysicalpain。Byaresoluteactofwill,heheldhimselferect。Whileheblamedanddespisedhimselfforhisweakness,hewasunabletoshakeitoff。Hedidnotknowthathismentalandemotionalstatewasinlargemeasureaphysicalreactionfromtheprolongedperiodofexhaustingstrain,histrebletourinthetrenches,withitsunrelievedsenseofimpendingdestruction,thatitsendlessprocessionofbroken,tornbodies,withitsnightsofsleeplessactivity,withitseternalstruggleagainstdepression,consequentuponthelossofhiscomrades,itseternalstrivingaftercheerinessandmorethanalltheshockofthetrainwreck,withitsscenesofhorror;allthishadcombinedtoreducehisphysicalpowersofresistancetothepointofutterexhaustion。 Ashestoodthereinthatcemeterywithitsrowsofcrosses,silentlyeloquentofheroismandofsacrifice,thespiritoftheplaceseemedtobreatheintohimnewlife。Ashiseyesfelluponthecrossbearinghisfather’sname,heseemedtoseeagainthaterectandgallantfigure,instinctwithlifeandcourage。Therecametohimthememoryofascenehehadneverforgotten。Againhewaswithhisfatherinthelittlehomecottage。Howdearithadbeentohimthen!Howdeartohim,today!Oncemorehefeltthestronggripofhisfather’shandandheardhisfather’svoice: \"Goodnight,boy。Wedon’tknowwhatisbeforeus,defeat,loss,suffering,thatpartisnotinourhandsaltogether,buttheshameofthequitterneverneedandnevershallbeours。\" Unconsciouslyasifhewereinthepresenceofasuperiorofficer,heliftedhishandinsalute,andwithasenseofrenewalofhisvitalenergieshereturnedtotheboat。 DuringthecrossinghismindwaschieflyoccupiedwiththeproblemofdiscoveringthewhereaboutsoftheV。A。D。orhisAmericanfriends。HehadneverlearnedherLondonaddress,ifindeedshehadone。Herememberedthatshehadtoldhimthatherhomehadbeenturnedintoahospital。Hehadsomeslighthopethathemightbeabletotraceherbytheaidofheruncle。 ArrivedinLondon,hisfirstdutywastoseeSergeantMatthews,whoseinjuriesinthewreckwereapparentlymoreseriousthanatfirstsupposed,safelydisposedinahospitalambulance。ThereuponheproceededtotheHotelCecil,andsethimselfseriouslytothesolutionofhisproblem。Hewastoowearyforclearthinkingandastheresultoflong,confusedandveryvexingcogitation,heresolveduponalettertoCommanderHowardVincent,R。N。R。This,aftermuchlabour,hesucceededinaccomplishing。Thereafter,muchtoowearyforfood,heproceededtohisroom,wherehegavehimselfuptotheunimaginableluxuryofabathinacleantub,andwithanunstintedsupplyofcleantowels,afterwhichriotousindulgence,hebetookhimselftobed。Ashelaystretchedbetweenthesmoothcleansheets,hefounditimpossibletorecallastateofexistencewhencleansheetshadbeenanightlyexperience。Thechiefregretofthesesemi—unconsciousmomentsprecedingslumberwasthatsleepwouldrobhimofthisdelicioussenseofphysicalcleannessandwell—being。 Hewaswakenedbyaknockathisdoor,followedbyahesitatingapologyforintrusion。Rejoicingintheluxuryofhissurroundings,andinthealtogethersatisfyingdiscoverythathemightsleepagain,heturnedoverandoncemorewaslostinprofoundslumber。 Asecondtimehewasarousedbyamildbutsomewhatanxiousinquiryastohiswelfare。 \"Iwantnothing,onlyalittlemoresleep,\"andagainluxuriatingforafewmomentsinhiscleansheetsandhispeacefulenvironment,heresignedhimselftosleep,towakenwithacomfortablesenseofpleasantweariness,whichgraduallypassedintoasomewhatacutesenseofhunger。 Hedecided,afterdueconsideration,thathewouldplumbthedepthsofbliss,unmeasuredandunknown,andhavebreakfastinbed。HewenttothewindowandlookedoutuponthemurkylightofaLondonday。Hedecidedthatitwasstillearlymorning,andrangforthewaiter。Hewasinformedbythatfunctionarythatbreakfastwasimpossible,butthatifhedesiredhecouldbesuppliedwithanearlydinner。 \"Dinner!\"exclaimedBarry。 Helookedathiswatch,butfoundthathehadneglectedtowindit,andthatconsequentlyithadstopped。 \"Whattimedoyoumakeit,waiter?\" \"Halfaftersix,sir。\" Hedecidedthathewouldrisefordinner,’phonedforapaperandhismail,andlaybackbetweenthesheetsoncemore,strivingtorecapturethatrapturoussenseofwelfarethathadenwrappedhimthenightbefore。Luxuriatinginthisdelightsomeexercise,heglancedlazilyattheheadingofhispaper,andthencried,asthepaperboywasleavingtheroom,\"Hello!here,boy!whatdayisthis?\" \"Friday,sir,\"saidtheboy,gazingathiminastonishment。 \"Friday?Areyousure?\" \"Yes,sir,Friday,sir。Whatdoesthepapersay,sir?\" \"Oh,yes,ofcourse。Allright。\" HehadgonetobedonWednesdaynight。HeknewthatbecauseherememberedthedateofhislettertoCommanderHowardVincent,R。N。R。Hemadetheastoundingdiscoverythathehadsleptjustforty—fourhours。Thenhemadeaseconddiscoveryandthatwasthatofhispreciouseightdays’leave,threewerealreadygone。 Afterhehaddinedheinquiredatthedeskforhismail,andsearchedthroughthetelegrams,buttherewasnothingforhim。 Thenhebetookhimselftothestreets,awarethatthespectreoflonelinesswashardonhistrail,andswiftlycatchingupwithhim。 Londonwasroaringaroundhiminthedark,likeajunglefullofwildbeasts,ofwhoseshapeshecouldcatchnowandthenhorridglimpses。Amongallthemillionsinthecity,heknewofnolivingsoultowhomhecouldgoforcompanionship,norwasthereanythinginformofamusementthatspeciallyinvitedhim。 TherewasGrandOpera,ofcourse,butfromitsassociationswithhisfatherheknewthatthatwouldbringhimonlyacutemisery。 Gladlywouldhehavegonetothehospitals,buttheywouldbeshutagainsthimatthishour。Heboughtaneveningpaper,andunderashadedlampstudiedtheamusementcolumns。SomeoftheRevuesheknewtobesimplytiresome,othersdisgusting。Noneofthemappealedtohim。Aimlesslyhewanderedalongthestreets,heedlessofhisdirection,consciousnowandthenofanadditionalpangofwretchednessashecaughtaglimpsenowandthenatatheatredoorofyoungofficerspassinginwithsweetfacedgirlsontheirarms,Atlengthindesperationhefollowedonesuchpair,andfoundhimselflisteningtoCinderella。Itslightanddelicatefancy,itssweetpathos,itsgentlehumourluredhimtemporarilyfromhismisery,butoftentherecamebackuponhimthebittermemoryofhiscomradesintheirhorridenvironmentoffilth,dangerandwretchedness。 Hefoundsomecompensationinthethoughtthattheseofficersbesidehimwerelikehimselfonleave,andwhileheenviedthem,hedidnotgrudgethemtheirdelightintheplay,andtheirobviouslygreaterdelightintheirlovelycompanionsbesidethem,butthisagainwasneutralisedbythebitterrecollectionofhisownhardfatewhichdeniedhimalikejoy。 Aftertheplayhestoodintheentrancehall,observingthecrowd,indulginghissenseofill—usageatthehandsoffateashesawtheofficerslingeringwithmanyunnecessarytouchesoverthecloakingoftheirfairpartners,andashecaughttheansweringglancesandsmilesthatrewardedtheirattentions。 Hiseyesfollowedthemanoeuvringsofthepaintedladiesastheyhoveredaboutthedoors,boldlybusywiththeirprofession。HeunderstoodasneverbeforethenatureoftheirlureandtheoverpoweringsubtletyofthetemptationcastbythemoverthelonelysoldierinLondon。 Closeathissideheheardavoice: \"Howdoyoulikeit,boy?Notbad,eh?\" \"Awfullyjolly,dad。It’sperfectlyfineofyou。\" Heturnedandsawagrey—hairedgentleman,withuprightsoldierlyfigure,andwalkingwithhim,arminarm,ayoungofficer,evidentlyhisson。Hefollowedthemslowlytothedoor,andeagertoshareifhemightthejoyoftheircomradeship,helistenedtotheirtalk。Thenastheydisappearedintothedarkness,sickatheart,hepassedoutofthedoor,stoodamomenttogethisbearings,andsaunteredbeyondtheradiusofthesubduedlightabouttheentrance,intothedarknessfurtheron。 Hehadgonebutafewpaces,andwasstandingbeneathashadedcornerlight,meditatingthecrossingoftheroaringstreet,whenheheardbehindhimaneagervoicecrying,\"CaptainDunbar!CaptainDunbar!\" Swiftlyheturned,andsawinthedimlightadaintyfigure,operacoatflowingawayfromgleamingarmsandshoulders,afacewithitshaloofgoldbrownhair,withsoftbrowneyesashineandeagerpartedlips,avisionoffluttering,bewilderinglovelinessbearingdownuponhimwithoutstretchedhands。 \"What,\"hegasped,\"you!Oh,youdarling!\" Hereachedforher,gatheredherinhisarms,drewhertowardhim,andbeforeeitherheorshewasawareofwhatheintendedtodo,kissedherpartinglips。 \"Oh,howdareyou!\"shecried,aghast,pushinghimbackfromher,herfaceinaredflame。\"Oh,I’msoglad。IwasafraidIshouldloseyou。\" Barry,appalledathisowntemerity,hiseyestakinginthesweetbeautyofherlovelyface,stoodsilent,trembling。 \"Well,aren’tyougoingtotellmeyouaregladtoseeme?\"shecried,smilingupathimsaucily。 \"Phyllis,\"hemurmured,movingtowardher。 \"Stop,\"shesaid,puttingherhandsoutbeforeher,asiftoholdhimoff。\"Rememberwhereyouare。Ioughttobeveryangry,indeed。\" Shedrewhimtowardadarkwall。 \"Butyouaren’tangry,Phyllis。IfyouonlyknewhowIhavewantedyouinthisawfulplace。Oh,Ihavewantedyou。\" Shesawthathewaswhiteandstilltrembling。 \"Haveyou,Barry?\"sheasked,gently。\"Oh,youpoorboy。Iknowyouhavebeenthroughhorriblethings。No,Barry,don’t。Youawfulman,\"forhishandsweremovingtowardheragain。\"Youmustrememberwhereyouare。Lookatallthesepeoplestaringatus。\" \"People,\"hesaid,asifinadaze。\"Whatdifferencedotheymake? Oh,Phyllis,youaresowonderfullylovely。Ican’tbelieveit’syou,butitis,itis!Iknowyoureyes。Areyougladtoseeme?\" heaskedshyly,hishungryeyesuponherface。 \"Oh,Barry,\"shewhispered,thewarmflushrisingagaininhercheeks,\"can’tyousee?Can’tyousee?ButwhatamIthinkingabout?Comeandseemamma,andthere’sanotherdearfriendandadmirerofyourswithher。\" \"Who?NotPaula?\" \"No,notPaula,\"shesaid,withasubtlechangeinhervoice。 \"Comeandsee!\" Shetookhisarmandbroughthimbacktoamotorstandingatthetheatreentrance。 \"Oh,mamma,Ihavehadsucharace,\"shecriedexcitedly,\"andI havecapturedhim。Barry,mymother。\" Barrytooktheofferedhand,andgazedearnestlyintothesadbrowneyesthatsearchedhisinreturn。 \"Andhere’syourfriend,\"saidPhyllis。 \"Hello,Pilot,\"saidavoicefromadarkcornerofthecar。 \"What,Neil!Oh,youboy,\"hecriedinanecstasy,pushingbothhandsathim。\"Youdearoldboy。Howisthearm,eh?allright?\" \"Oh!doingawfullywell,\"saidCaptainNeil。\"Andyou?\" \"Oh,neversowellinallmylife,\"criedBarry。\"Yet,tothinkofit,tenminutesago,orwhenwasit,Iwasinthereamiserablyhomesickcreature,enviousofallthehappypeopleaboutme,andnow——\" Whilehewasspeaking,hiseyeswereonMrs。Vincent’sface,buthishandwasholdingfasttoherdaughter’sarm。\"Nowit’salovelyoldtown,andfullofdearpeople。\" \"Whereareyouputtingup?\"askedMrs。Vincent。 \"TheCecil。\" \"Letusdriveyoutherethen,\"shesaid。 DuringthedriveBarrysatsilentforthemostpart,listeningtoPhyllistalkingexcitedlyandeagerlybesidehim,answeringatrandomthequestionswhichcamelikerapidfirefromthemall,butplanningmeanwhilehowheshouldprolongthesemomentsofbliss。 \"Howaboutsupper?\"hecried,astheyarrivedinthecourtyardofthehotel。\"Comein。Iwantyouto;youseeIhavesomuchtoaskandsomuchtotellCaptainFraserhere,andthreeofmydaysaregonealready。Besides,Iwantyoutoawfully。\" Mrs。Vincentlookedathisface,whichforallitsbrightnesswaswornanddeep—lined,andhercompassionatemotherlyheartwasstirred。 \"Ofcoursewe’llcome。Wewanttoseeyouandtohearaboutyourexperiences。\" \"Oh,bully!\"criedBarry。\"Ishallalwaysrememberhowgoodyouaretometo—night。\" Hewasoverflowingwithexcitement。 \"Oh,thisisgreat,Neil。It’slikehavingabitoftheoldbattalionheretoseeyouagain。\" Whilewaitingfortheirorderstobefilledatthesuppertable,CaptainNeilturnedsuddenlytoBarryandsaid,\"What’sallthisaboutatrainwreckandthegallantO。C。train?\" \"Yes,andthisrescuingofmenfromburningcars,\"exclaimedPhyllis。 \"Andknockingoutinsubordinates。\" \"Andbeingmentionedindespatches。\" \"Andreceivingcheersatthestation。\" \"Nowwheredidyougetallthatstuff?\"inquiredBarry。 \"Why,allLondonisringingwithit,\"saidCaptainNeil。 \"Nonsense,\"saidBarry;\"who’sbeenstuffingyou?\" \"Well,\"saidPhyllis,\"wecameacrossyoursergeantto—dayinthehospital。Suchafunnyman。\" \"Who?FattyMatthews?\"askedBarry,turningtoCaptainNeil。 \"Yes,itwasFatty,\"saidCaptainNeil,\"andifyouhadyourrightsbyhisaccount,yououghttobeincommandatthismomentofanarmycorpsattheveryleast。ButyouwereO。C。leavetrain,wereyounot?\" \"Yes,tomydismayIwasmadeO。C。,butImetachap,CaptainCourtney,averydecentfellow,myadjutant,andmadehimcarryon。\" \"Myword,thatwasastroke!\" \"Wehadawreck,aghastlyaffairitwas,thoughitmighthavebeenalotworse。TheR。A。M。C。peopledidmagnificently,andthemenbehavedawfullywell,sothatwemanagedtogetthrough。\" \"AndwhatabouttheO。C。?\"inquiredCaptainNeil。 \"Oh,nothingspecial。Hejustsawthattheotherscarriedon。Nowtellmeaboutyoupeople。Whathaveyoubeendoingandwhatareyougoingtodo?\" \"Well,’we’rehere,becausewe’rehere,’\"chantedCaptainNeil。 \"Andwhydidn’tyousendmewordastoyourmovements?\"saidBarry。 \"Whathoursofagonyyouwouldhavesparedme!\" \"ButIdid,\"repliedPhyllis。\"Isentyouourtownaddressandtoldyoueverything。\" \"Nowisn’tthatrotten!\"exclaimedBarry。\"Nevermind,I’vefoundyou,andnowwhat’stheprogramme?\" \"Well,\"criedCaptainNeilwithgreatenthusiasm,\"weareallofftoEdinburghto—morrow,wherewemeettheHowlands,andthenforamotortripthroughtheHighlandsandtomyancestralhome。\" Barry’sfacefell。\"To—morrow?\"hesaidblankly,withaquicklookatPhyllis。\"Andyouareallgoing?\" \"NotI,\"saidMrs。Vincent,\"butwhyshouldyounotjointheparty? Youneedjustsuchachange。Itwoulddoyougood。\" \"Surethinghewill,\"criedCaptainNeil。 Duringthesuppertheyhadfirmlyresolvedtotaboothewar。Theytalkedonallmannerofsubjects,chieflyoftheproposedmotortrip,butinspiteofthebantheirtalkwouldharkbacktothetrenches。ForCaptainNeilmustknowhowhiscomradeswerefaring,andhowhiscompanywascarryingon,andBarrymusttellhimoftheirlosses,andallofthegreatachievementswroughtbythemenoftheirbattalion。AndBarrybecausehisownheartwasfullofalltheirsplendiddeedslethimselfgo。HetoldhowSallyandBoothhadmettheirlastcall,oftheM。O。andhissplendidworkinrescuingthewounded。 \"NowordinallofthisofthePilot,Iobserve,\"interjectedCaptainNeil。 \"Oh,hejustcarriedon!\" ThenhetoldhowatlasttheM。O。wentout,andhowonhisfacetherewasonlypeace。HehadtotellofCorporalThom,andhowhegavehimselfforhiscomradesandhowCameronkeptthefaith,alonglistofheroeshehadtoenumerate,ofwhomtheworldwasnotworthy,whosedeedsareunknowntofame,butwhosenamesarerecordedinthebooksofGod。AndthenreverentlyhetoldofMcCuaig。 AsBarrytalked,hisheartwasfarawayfromLondon。Hewasseeingagainthatlineofmudbespatteredmen,patientlyploddingupthecommunicationtrench。Hewaslookinguponthemsleepingwithwornandwearyfaces,inrainandmudsoakedbootsandputtees,downintheirflimsy,darkdugouts。Hewashearingagaintheheavy\"crash\" ofthetrenchmortar,theearthshaking\"crumph\"ofthehighexplosive,theswiftrushofthewhizbang。Beforehiseyeshesawasteadylineofbayonetsbehindacrumblingwall,thenaquickrushtomeettheattack,bombandrifleinhand。Hesawtheilluminedfaceofhisdyingfriend。 Ashetoldhistale,hisfacewasglowing,hiseyesgleamingaswithaninnerfire。 \"Oh,God’sMercy!\"hecried,\"theyaremen!Theyaremen!OnlyGodcouldmakesuchmen。\" \"Yes,onlyGod,\"echoedMrs。Vincentafteralongpause。\"TheyareGod’smen,andtoGodtheygoatlast。TrulytheyareGod’sownmen。\" WhileBarrywasspeaking,Phyllis,herhandstightlyclasped,wasleaningforwardlisteningwithglisteningeyesandpartedlips。 Suddenlysherose,andwenthurriedlytothedoor。 \"Forgiveme,\"saidBarry,turningtoMrs。Vincent。\"Ishouldnothavetalkedaboutthesethings。It’sNeilherethatdrewmeout。 It’shisfault。\" InafewminutesCaptainNeilaroseandsaying,\"I’llseewherePhyllishasgone,\"wentoutatthesamedoor。 \"Theyareverygreatfriends,\"saidMrs。Vincent。\"WeareveryfondofCaptainFraser。Indeed,heislikeoneofourfamily。\" \"Afine,bravechapheis,\"saidBarrywarmly,butwithaqueerchillathisheart。 \"PhyllishasmadesomeverydelightfulfriendsinFrance。ThoseAmericansatEtapleswereverygoodtoher,\"andshecontinuedtochatinhersoft,gentlevoice,towhichBarrygaveacourteoushearingbutverycasualreplies。Hisheartandhisearswereattentiveforthereturningfootstepsofthosewhohadsoabruptlydesertedthem。WhileMrs。Vincentwastalking,anuglyquestionwasthrustingitselfuponhisattention,demandingananswer。Hecouldsee——anyonewitheyescouldsee——thattherewasbetweenPhyllisandhisfriendCaptainNeilsomeunderstanding。JustwhatwasbetweenthemBarrylongedtoknow。Itflasheduponhimthatupontheanswertothatquestionhiswholefuturehung,forifthisgirlwasmorethanfriendtoCaptainNeil,thenthejoyoflifehadforhimbeenquenched。Nomotortripforhimto—morrow。Hehadhadenoughheart—wrenchingtobearasitwaswithoutthat。No!Ifbetweenthesetwoacloserrelationthanthatofmerefriendshipexisted,hiswaywasclear。Hewouldreturntothetrenchesto— morrow。 \"Oh,hereyouare,dear,\"saidMrs。Vincent,asPhyllisandCaptainNeilreturnedtotheroom。\"Youfoundtheairtooclose,Ifear。\" \"No,\"saidPhylliswithsimplesincerity,\"itwasBarry。Isawthosemen,andIcouldnotbearit。Ican’tbearitnow。\"Herlipswerestilltrembling,andhereyeswerefilledwithtears。 \"Andyet,\"saidBarry,\"whenyouwereoverthereinthemidstofitall,youneveronceweakened。That’sthewonderofit。Youjustgoon,doingwhatyoumustdo。Youhaven’ttimetoreflect,andit’sGod’smercythatitisso。ThankGodwehaveourdutytodonomatterwhatcomes。Withoutthatlifewouldbeunbearable。\" \"Now,whataboutto—morrow?\"saidCaptainNeilbriskly,asMrs。 Vincentrosefromthetable。\"Wemustsettlethat。Whataboutit,Barry?\" \"Idon’tknow。DoyouthinkIshouldgo?It’syourpartyandit’salreadymadeup。\" \"Notquite,\"saidPhyllis,lookingshylyathim。\"Youbelongtothepartymorethananyofus,youknow。\"