第1章

类别:其他 作者:Olive Schreiner字数:10381更新时间:19/01/07 15:11:14
Myfather’sancestorsweretheShawsofRothiemurchus,inScotland,andtheruinsoftheircastlemaystillbeseenontheislandofLoch—an—Eilan,inthenorthernHighlands。Itwasneverthepicturesquecastleofsongandstory,thishomeofthefightingShaws,butanausterefortress,probablybuiltinRomantimes;andevento—daythecrumblingwallswhichaloneareleftofitshowtracesoftherelentlessassaultsuponthem。OfthesethelastandthemostsuccessfulweremadeintheseventeenthcenturybytheGrantsandRobRoy;anditwasintothehandsoftheGrantsthattheShawfortressfinallyfell,about1700,afteralmostahundredyearsofceaselesswarfare。 Itgivesmenopleasuretoreadthegrislydetailsoftheirstruggles,butIconfesstoacertainsatisfac— tionintheknowledgethatmyancestorsmadeagoodshowinginthedefenseofwhatwastheirs。 Beyonddoubttheywerebravefightersandstrongmen。Therewereothersidestotheirnatures,however,whichthehighlightsofhistorythrowuplessappealingly。Asaninstance,wehaveinthefamilychroniclestheblood—stainedpageofAllenShaw,theoldestsonofthelastLadyShawwholivedinthefortress。Itappearsthatwhenthefatherofthisyoungmandied,about1560,hismothermarriedagain,totheintensedisapprovalofherson。Forsometimeafterthemarriagehemadenoopenrevoltagainstthenew—comerinthedomesticcircle;butfinally,onthepretextthathisdoghadbeenattackedbyhisstepfather,heforcedaquarrelwiththeoldermanandthetwofoughtaduelwithswords,afterwhichthevic— toriousAllenshowedasadlackofchivalry。Henotonlykilledhisstepfather,buthecutoffthatgentleman’sheadandboreittohismotherinherbed— chamber——anactionwhichwasconsidered,eveninthattolerantage,tobecarryingfilialresentmenttoofar。 ProbablyAllenregrettedit。Certainlyhepaidahighpenaltyforit,andhisclansufferedwithhim。 Hewasoutlawedandfled,onlytobehunteddownformonths,andfinallycapturedandexecutedbyoneoftheGrants,who,infurthervirtuousdisap— provalofAllen’sact,seizedandheldtheShawstronghold。TheotherShawsoftheclanfoughtlongandablyforitsrecovery,butthoughtheywerehelpedbytheirkinsmen,theMackintoshes,andthoughgoodScotchblooddyedthegraywallsofthefortressformanygenerations,thecastleneveragaincameintothehandsoftheShaws。ItstillentailscertainobligationsfortheGrants,however,andoneoftheseistogivetheKingofEnglandasnowballwheneverhevisitsLoch—an—Eilan! AstheyearspassedtheShawclanscattered。 ManyShawsarestilltobefoundintheMackintoshcountryandthroughoutsouthernScotland。OtherswenttoEngland,anditwasfromthislatterbranchthatmyfathersprang。HisnamewasThomasShaw,andhewastheyoungersonofagentleman——awordwhichinthosedaysseemedtodefineamanwhodevotedhistimelargelytogamblingandhorse— racing。Mygrandfather,likehisfatherbeforehim,wastruetothetraditionsofhistimeandclass。 Quitenaturallyandsimplyhesquanderedallhehad,anddiedabruptly,leavinghiswifeandtwosonspenniless。Theywerenot,however,ahelplessband。 They,too,hadtheirtraditions,handeddownbythefightingShaws。Peter,theolderson,becameasoldier,anddiedbravelyintheCrimeanWar。Myfather,throughsomeoutsideinfluence,turnedhisattentiontotrade,learningtostainandembosswall— paperbyhand,anddevelopingthisworkuntilhebecametherecognizedexpertinhisfield。Indeed,heprogresseduntilhehimselfcheckedhisrisebyinventingamachinethatmadehishandworkun— necessary。Hisemployeratonceclaimedandutilizedthisinvention,towhich,bythelawsofthosedays,hewasentitled,andthusthecorner— stoneonwhichmyfatherhadexpectedtobuildafortuneprovedtherockonwhichhiscareerwaswrecked。Butthatwasyearslater,inAmerica,andmanyotherthingshadhappenedfirst。 Forone,hehadtemporarilydroppedhistradeandgoneintotheflour—and—grainbusiness;and,foranother,hehadmarriedmymother。ShewasthedaughterofaScotchcouplewhohadcometoEnglandandsettledinAlnwick,inNorthumberlandCounty。Herfather,JamesStott,wasthedriveroftheroyal—mailstagebetweenAlnwickandNew— castle,andhisaccidentaldeathwhilehewasstillayoungmanleftmygrandmotherandhereightchildrenalmostdestitute。ShewasimmediatelygivenapositioninthecastleoftheDukeofNor— thumberland,andhersonswereeducatedintheduke’sschool,whileherdaughterswereenteredintheschooloftheduchess。 Mythoughtsdwelllovinglyonthisgrandmother,NicolasGrantStott,forshewasaremarkablewoman,withadauntlesssoulandprogressiveideasfarinadvanceofhertime。ShewasoneofthefirstUnitariansinEngland,andyearsbeforeanythoughtofwomansuffrageenteredthemindsofhercountry— womensherefusedtopaytithestothesupportoftheChurchofEngland——anactionwhichprecipitatedalong—drawn—outconflictbetweenherandthelaw。 Inthosedaysitwascustomarytoassesstithesoneverypaneofglassinawindow,andaportionofthemoneythuscollectedwenttothesupportoftheChurch。Yearafteryearmyintrepidgrandmotherrefusedtopaytheseassessments,andyearafteryearshesatpensivelyuponherdoor—step,watchingarticlesofherfurniturebeingsoldformoneytopayhertithes。Itmusthavebeenanimpressivepicture,anditwasonewithwhichthecommunitybecamethoroughlyfamiliar,asthedeterminedoldladyneverwonherfightandneverabandonedit。Shehadatleastthecomfortofpublicsympathy,forshewasbyfarthemostpopularwomaninthecountry— side。Herneighborsadmiredhercourage;perhapstheyappreciatedstillmorewhatshedidforthem,forshespentallherleisureinthehomesoftheverypoor,mendingtheirclothingandteachingthemtosew。Also,sheleftbehindherapathofcleanlinessasdefiniteasthelineoffoamthatfollowsaship; foritsoonbecameknownamongherprotegeesthatNicolasStottwasasmuchopposedtodirtasshewastothepaymentoftithes。 Shekeptherchildrenintheschoolsofthedukeandduchessuntiltheyhadcompletedtheentirecourseopentothem。Ahundredtimes,andamongmanynewscenesandstrangepeople,Ihaveheardmymotherdescribeherownexperiencesasapupil。 Allthechildrenofthedependentsofthecastlewereexpectedtoleaveschoolatfourteenyearsofage。 Duringtheircoursetheywerenotallowedtostudygeography,because,inthesageopinionoftheirelders,knowledgeofforeignlandsmightmakethemdis— contentedandinclinedtowander。Neitherwascom— positionencouraged——thatmightleadtothewritingoflove—notes!Buttheywerepermittedtoabsorballthereadingandarithmetictheirlittlebrainscouldhold,whiletheartofsewingwasnotonlyencouraged,butproficiencyinitwasstimulatedbytheawardofprizes。Mymother,beingaratherpre— cociousyoungperson,graduatedatthirteenandcarriedoffthefirstprize。Thegarmentshemadewasalinenchemisefortheduchess,andthelittleneedlewomanhadembroideredonit,withherownhair,theaugustlady’scoatofarms。Theofferingmusthavebeenappreciated,formymother’sstoryalwaysendedwiththesamewords,utteredwiththesameairofgentlepride,``AndtheduchessgavemewithherownhandsmyBibleandmymugofbeer!’’ Sheneversawanythingamusinginthisassociationofgifts,andIalwaysstoodbehindherwhenshetoldtheincident,thatshemightnotseethedisrespectfulmirthitarousedinme。 MyfatherandmothermetinAlnwick,andweremarriedinFebruary,1835。Tenyearsafterhismarriagefatherwasforcedintobankruptcybythepassageofthecornlaw,andtomeettheobliga— tionsattendinghisfailureheandmymothersoldpracticallyeverythingtheypossessed——theirhome,eventheirfurniture。Theirlittlesons,whowereawayatschool,werebroughthome,andthefamilyexpenseswerecutdowntothebarestmargin;butallthesesacrificespaidonlypartofthedebts。Mymother,findingthatherearlygifthadamarketvalue,tookinsewing。Fatherwenttoworkonasmallsalary,andbothmyparentssavedeverypennytheycouldlayaside,withthedesperatedeterminationtopaytheirremainingdebts。Itwasalongstruggleandapainfulone,buttheyfinallywonit。Beforetheyhaddoneso,however,andduringtheirbleakestdays,theirbabydied,andmymother,likehermotherbeforeher,paidthepenaltyofbeingoutsidethefoldoftheChurchofEngland。She,too,wasaUnitarian,andherbaby,therefore,couldnotbelaidinanyconsecratedburial—groundinherneighborhood。ShehadeithertoburyitinthePotter’sField,withcriminals,suicides,andpaupers,ortotakeitbystage—coachtoAlnwick,twentymilesaway,andleaveitinthelittleUnitarianchurch— yardwhere,afterherstrenuouslife,NicolasStottnowlayinpeace。Shemadethedrearyjourneyalone,withthedearburdenacrossherlap。 In1846,myparentswenttoLondon。Theretheydidnotlingerlong,forthebig,indifferentcityhadnothingtoofferthem。TheymovedtoNew— castle—on—Tyne,andhereIwasborn,onthefour— teenthdayofFebruary,in1847。Threeboysandtwogirlshadprecededmeinthefamilycircle,andwhenIwastwoyearsoldmyyoungersistercame。 WewerelittlebetteroffinNewcastlethaninLondon,andnowmyfatherbegantodreamthegreatdreamofthosedays。HewouldgotoAmerica。 Surely,hefelt,inthatlandofinfinitepromiseallwouldbewellwithhimandhis。Hewaitedforthefinalpaymentofhisdebtsandformyyoungersister’sbirth。Thenhebadeusgood—byandsailedawaytomakeanAmericanhomeforus;andinthespringof1851mymotherfollowedhimwithhersixchildren,startingfromLiverpoolinasailing— vessel,theJohnJacobWestervelt。 Iwasthenlittlemorethanfouryearsold,andthefirstvividmemoryIhaveisthatofbeingonship— boardandhavingamightywaverolloverme。Iwaslyingonwhatseemedtobeanenormousredboxunderahatchway,andthewaterpouredfromabove,almostdrowningme。Thiswasthebeginningofastormwhichragedfordays,andIstillhaveofitaconfusedmemory,asortofnightmare,inwhichstrangehorrorsfigure,andwhichtothisdayhauntsmeatintervalswhenIamonthesea。Thethingthatstandsoutmoststronglyduringthatperiodisthewhitefaceofmymother,illinherberth。Wewerewithfivehundredemigrantsonthelowestdeckoftheshipbutone,andasthestormgrewwilderanunreasoningterrorfilledourfellow—pas— sengers。Tooilltoprotectherhelplessbrood,mymothersawuscarriedawayfromherforhoursatatime,onthecrestsofwavesofpanicthatsometimesapproachedherandsometimesreceded,astheysweptthroughtheblackholeinwhichwefoundour— selveswhenthehatcheswerenaileddown。Nomad— house,Iamsure,couldthrowmorehideouspicturesonthescreenoflifethanthosewhichmetourchildisheyesduringtheappallingthreedaysofthestorm。 Ouronecomfortwastheknowledgethatourmotherwasnotafraid。Shewasdesperatelyill,butwhenwewereabletoreachher,toclingclosetoherforablessedinterval,shewasstillthesurerefugeshehadalwaysbeen。 Ontheseconddaythemastswentdown,andonthethirddaythedisabledship,whichnowhadsprungaleakandwasrollinghelplesslyinthetroughofthesea,wasrescuedbyanothershipandtowedbacktoQueenstown,thenearestport。Thepassengers,relievedoftheiranxieties,wentfromtheirextremeoffeartoanequalextremeofdrunkencelebration。Theylaughed,sang,anddanced,butwhenwereachedtheshoremanyofthemreturnedtothehomestheyhadleft,declaringthattheyhadhadenoughoftheocean。We,however,remainedontheshipuntilshewasrepaired,andthensailedonheragain。Weweretoopoortoreturnhome; indeed,wehadnohometowhichwecouldreturn。 Wewereeventoopoortoliveashore。Butwemadesomepennyexcursionsinthelittleboatsthatpliedbackandforth,andtouschildrenatleasttheweeksofwaitingwerenotwithoutinterest。AmongotherplaceswevisitedSpikeIsland,wheretheconvictswere,andforhourswewatchedthedrearyshuttleoflaborswingbackandforthastheconvictscar— riedpailsofwaterfromonesideoftheisland,onlytoemptythemintotheseaattheotherside。Itwasmerely``busywork,’’tokeepthemoccupiedathardlabor;buteventhenImusthavefeltsomedimsenseoftheironyofit,forIhaveremembereditvividlyalltheseyears。 OursecondvoyageontheJohnJacobWesterveltwasaverydifferentexperiencefromthefirst。Bydayaglorioussunshoneoverhead;bynightwehadthemoonandstars,aswellastheracingwavesweneverweariedofwatching。Forsomereason,prob— ablybecauseofmyintenseadmirationforthem,whichIshowedwithunmaidenlyfrankness,Ibe— camethespecialpetofthesailors。Theytaughtmetosingtheirsongsastheyhauledontheirropes,andIrecall,asifIhadlearnedityesterday,onepleasingditty: Haulonthebow—line,Kittyismydarling,Haulonthebow—line,Thebow—line——HAUL! WhenIsang``haul’’allthesailorspulledtheirhardest,andIhadanexhilaratingsenseofsharingintheirlabors。Asareturnformyserviceofsongthemenkeptmylittleapronfullofshipsugar—— veryblackstuffandprobablyverybadforme;butIateanastonishingamountofitduringthatvoy— age,and,sofarasIremember,feltnoilleffects。 ThenextthingIrecallisbeingseriouslyscalded。 Iwasatthefootofaladderupwhichasailorwascarryingagreatpotofhotcoffee。Heslipped,andtheboilingliquidpoureddownonme。Imusthavehadsomebaddaysafterthat,forIwaster— riblyburned,buttheyaremercifullyvague。Mynextvividimpressionisofseeingland,whichwesightedatsunset,andIrememberverydistinctlyjusthowitlooked。Ithasneverlookedthesamesince。Thewesternskywasamassofcrimsonandgoldclouds,whichtookontheshapesofstrangeandbeautifulthings。Tomeitseemedthatwewereenteringheaven。Irememberalsothedoctorscom— ingonboardtoexamineus,andIcanstillseealineofbigIrishmenstandingverystraightandholdingouttheirtonguesforinspection。Toalittlegirlonlyfouryearsoldtheirhuge,openmouthslookedappalling。 Onlandingagrievousdisappointmentawaitedus;myfatherdidnotmeetus。HewasinNewBedford,Massachusetts,nursinghisgriefandpre— paringtoreturntoEngland,forhehadbeentoldthattheJohnJacobWestervelthadbeenlostatseawitheverysoulonboard。Oneofthemissionarieswhomettheshiptookusunderhiswingandcon— ductedustoalittlehotel,whereweremaineduntilfatherhadreceivedhisincrediblenewsandrushedtoNewYork。Hecouldhardlybelievethatwewerereallyrestoredtohim;andevennow,throughthemistsofmorethanhalfacentury,Icanstillseetheexpressioninhisweteyesashepickedmeupandtossedmeintotheair。 Icansee,too,thetoyshebroughtme——alittlesawandahatchet,whichbecamethedearesttreas— uresofmychildishdays。Theywerefatidicalgifts,thatsawandhatchet;intheyearsaheadofmeIwastousetoolsaswellasmybrothersdid,asIprovedwhenIhelpedtobuildourfrontierhome。 WewenttoNewBedfordwithfather,whohadfoundworkthereathisoldtrade;andhereIlaidthefoundationsofmyfirstchildhoodfriendship,notwithanotherchild,butwithmynext—doorneighbor,aship—builder。Morningaftermorningthismanswungmeonhisbigshoulderandtookmetohisshipyard,wheremyhatchetandsawhadvio— lentexerciseasIimitatedtheworkersaroundme。 Discoveringthatmytinypetticoatswereinmyway,mynewfriendhadalittleboy’ssuitmadeforme; andthusemancipated,atthistenderage,Iworkedunwearyinglyathissidealldaylonganddayafterday。NodoubtitwasduetohimthatIdidnotcasuallysawoffafewofmytoesandfingers。Cer— tainlyIsmashedthemoftenenoughwithblowsofmydullbutactivehatchet。Iwasvery,verybusy; andIhavealwaysmaintainedthatIbegantoearnmyshareofthefamily’slivingattheageoffive—— forinreturnforthedelightsofmysociety,whichseemednevertopalluponhim,mynewfriendal— lowedmybrotherstocarryhomefromtheship— yardallthewoodmymothercoulduse。 WeremainedinNewBedfordlessthanayear,forinthespringof1852myfathermadeanotherchange,takinghisfamilytoLawrence,Massa— chusetts,whereweliveduntil1859。TheyearsinLawrencewereinterestingandformativeones。AtthetenderageofnineandtenIbecameinterestedintheAbolitionmovement。WewereUnitarians,andGeneralOliverandmanyoftheprominentciti— zensofLawrencebelongedtotheUnitarianChurch。 WeknewRobertShaw,wholedthefirstnegroregi— ment,andJudgeStorrow,oneoftheleadingNewEnglandjudgesofhistime,aswellastheCabotsandGeorgeA。Walton,whowastheauthorofWalton’sArithmeticandheadoftheLawrenceschools。Outburstsofwartalkthrilledme,andoccasionallyIhadalittleadventureofmyown,aswhenoneday,invisitingourcellar,Iheardanoiseinthecoal—bin。Iinvestigatedanddiscoveredanegrowomanconcealedthere。IhadbeenreadingUncleTom’sCabin,aswellaslisteningtotheconversationofmyelders,soIwasvastlystirredoverthenegroquestion。Iracedup—stairsinaconditionofawe—struckandquiveringexcitement,whichmymotherpromptlysuppressedbysendingmetobed。Nodoubtshequestionedmyyouthfuldiscretion,forshealmostconvincedmethatIhadseennothingatall——almost,butnotquite;andshewiselykeptmeclosetoherforseveraldays,untiltheescapedslavemyfatherwashidingwassafelyoutofthehouseandaway。Discoveryofthisseri— ousoffensemighthavebornegraveresultsforhim。 ItwasinLawrence,too,thatIreceivedandspentmyfirsttwenty—fivecents。Iusedanentiredayindoingthis,andtheoccasionwasoneofthemostdelightfulandmemorableofmylife。ItwastheFourthofJuly,andIwasdressedinwhiteandrodeinaprocession。MysisterMary,whoalsogracedtheprocession,hadalsobeengiventwenty—fivecents;andduringtheparade,when,forobviousreasons,wewereunabletobreakranksandspendourwealth,theconsciousnessofitlayheavilyuponus。Whenwefinallybeganourshoppingthefirstplacewevisitedwasacandystore,andIrecalldis— tinctlythatweforcedthewearyproprietortotakedownandshowuseveryjarintheplacebeforewespentonepenny。ThefirstbananaIeveratewaspurchasedthatday,andIhesitatedoveritalongtime。Itscostwasfivecents,andinviewofthatlargeexpenditure,theeatingofthefruit,Iwasafraid,wouldbetoobriefajoy。Iboughtit,how— ever,andtheexperiencedevelopedintoatragedy,for,notknowingenoughtopeelthebanana,Ibitthroughskinandpulpalike,asifIwereeatinganapple,andthenburstintoearsofdisappointment。 ThebeautifulconductofmysisterMaryshinesdownthroughtheyears。She,wisechild,hadtakennochanceswiththeunknown;butnow,movedbymydespair,sheboughthalfofmybanana,andwedividedthefruit,theloss,andthelesson。 Fate,moreover,hadanotherturnofthescrewforus,for,afterMaryhadtakenabiteofit,wegavewhatwasleftofthebananatoaboywhostoodnearusandwhoknewhowtoeatit;andnoteventhelargeamountofcandyinourstickyhandsenabledustoregardwithcalmnessthesubsequenthappinessofthatlittleboy。 AnotherexperiencewithfruitinLawrenceillus— tratestheideasofmymotherandthecharacterofthetrainingshegaveherchildren。Ourneighbors,theCabots,wereonedaygivingagreatgardenparty,andmysisterwashelpingtopickstrawberriesfortheoccasion。WhenIwasgoinghomefromschoolIpassedtheberry—patchesandstoppedtospeaktomysister,whoatoncepresentedmewithtwostraw— berries。ShesaidMrs。Cabothadtoldhertoeatallshewanted,butthatshewouldeattwolessthanshewantedandgivethosetwotome。Tomymind,thesuggestionwasgenerousandproper;inmylifestrawberrieswererare。Iateoneberry,andthen,overcomebyanambitiontobegenerousalso,tooktheotherberryhometomymother,tell— ingherhowIhadgotit。Tomychagrin,motherwasdeeplyshocked。Shetoldmethatthetrans— actionwasallwrong,andshemademetakebacktheberryandexplainthemattertoMrs。Cabot。 BythetimeIreachedthatgenerousladytheberrywastheworseforitsjourney,andsowasI。Iwasonlynineyearsoldandverysensitive。ItwascleartomethatIcouldhardlylivethroughthehumilia— tionoftheconfession,anditwasindeedabitterexperiencetheworst,Ithink,inmyyounglife,thoughMrs。Cabotwasbothsympatheticandunderstanding。Shekissedme,andsentaquartofstrawberriestomymother;butforalongtimeafterwardIcouldnotmeetherkindeyes,forIbe— lievedthatinherheartshethoughtmeathief。 Mysecondfriendship,andonewhichhadastronginfluenceonmyafter—life,wasformedinLawrence。 IwasnotmorethantenyearsoldwhenImetthisnewfriend,butthememoryofherinafter—years,andtheimpressionshehadmadeonmysusceptibleyoungmind,ledmefirstintotheministry,nextintomedicine,andfinallyintosuffrage—work。Livingnextdoortous,onProspectHill,wasabeautifulandmysteriouswoman。Allwechildrenknewofherwasthatshewasavividandromanticfigure,whoseemedtohavenofriendsandofwhomoureldersspokeinwhispersornotatall。Tomeshewasaprincessinafairy—tale,forsherodeawhitehorseandworeabluevelvetriding—habitwithabluevelvethatandapicturesquelydroopingwhiteplume。Isoonlearnedatwhathoursshewentforthtoride,andIusedtohoveraroundourgateforthejoyofseeinghermountandgallopaway。 Irealizedthattherewassomethingunusualaboutherhouse,andIhadanideathattheprincewaswaitingforhersomewhereinthefardistance,andthatforthetimeatleastshehadescapedtheogreinthecastlesheleftbehind。Iwaswrongabouttheprince,butrightabouttheogre。Itwasonlywhenmyunhappyladylefthercastlethatshewasfree。 Verysoonshenoticedme。Possiblyshesawtheadorationinmychildisheyes。Shebegantonodandsmileatme,andthentospeaktome,butatfirstIwasalmostafraidtoanswerher。Therewerestoriesnowamongthechildrenthatthehousewashaunted,andthatbynightaghostwalkedthereandinthegrounds。Ifeltanextraordinaryinterestintheghost,andIspenthourspeeringthroughourpicketfence,tryingtocatchaglimpseofit;butI hesitatedtobeontermsofneighborlyintimacywithonewhodweltwithghosts。 Onedaythemysteriousladybentandkissedme。 Then,straighteningup,shelookedatmequeerlyandsaid:``GoandtellyourmotherIdidthat。’’ Therewassomethingverycompellinginhermanner。 IknewatoncethatImusttellmymotherwhatshehaddone,andIranintoourhouseanddidso。 Whilemymotherwasconsideringtheproblemthesituationpresented,forsheknewthecharacterofthehousenextdoor,anotewashandedintoher—— averypatheticlittlenotefrommymysteriouslady,askingmymothertoletmecomeandseeher。Longafterwardmothershowedittome。Itendedwiththewords:``Shewillseenoonebutme。Noharmshallcometoher。Trustme。’’ Thatnightmyparentstalkedthematteroveranddecidedtoletmego。Probablytheyfeltthattheslavenextdoorwasasmuchtobepitiedasthees— caped—negroslavestheysooftenharboredinourhome。Imademyvisit,whichwasthefirstofmany,andastrangefriendshipbegananddevelopedbe— tweenthewomanofthetownandthelittlegirlsheloved。SomeofthosevisitsIrememberasvividlyasifIhadmadethemyesterday。TherewasnevertheslightestsuggestionduringanyofthemofthingsIshouldnotseeorhear,forwhileIwaswithhermyhostessbecameachildagain,andweplayedtogetherlikechildren。Shehadwonderfultoysforme,andpicturesandbooks;butthethingIlovedbestofallandplayedwithforhourswasalittlestuffedhenwhichshetoldmehadbeenherdearesttreasurewhenshewasachildathome。Shehadalsoastuffedpuppy,andsheoncementionedthatthosetwothingsalonewereleftofherlifeasalittlegirl。Besidesthetoysandbooksandpic—