Shemusedawhile，lookingoutwithfixedeyes。
\"Thatiswhythebellrangsocheerfully，\"shesaid。\"Whentheolddieitiswell；theyhavehadtheirtime。Itiswhentheyoungdiethatthebellsweepdropsofblood。\"
\"Buttheoldlovelife？\"hesaid；foritwassweettohearherspeak。
Sheraisedherselfonherelbow。
\"Theylovelife，theydonotwanttodie，\"sheanswered，\"butwhatofthat？
Theyhavehadtheirtime。Theyknewthataman’slifeisthree—scoreyearsandten；theyshouldhavemadetheirplansaccordingly！
\"Buttheyoung，\"shesaid，\"theyoung，cutdown，cruelly，whentheyhavenotseen，whentheyhavenotknown——whentheyhavenotfound——itisforthemthatthebellsweepblood。Iheardintheringingitwasanoldman。
Whentheolddie——Listentothebell！itislaughing——’Itisright，itisright；hehashadhistime。’Theycannotringsofortheyoung。\"
Shefellbackexhausted；thehotlightdiedfromhereyes，andshelaylookingoutintothestreet。Byandbystragglersfromthefuneralbegantocomebackanddisappearhereandthereamongthehouses；thenallwasquiet，andthenightbegantosettledownuponthevillagestreet。
Afterward，whentheroomwasalmostdark，sothattheycouldnotseeeachother’sfaces，shesaid，\"Itwillraintonight；\"andmovedrestlesslyonthepillows。\"Howterriblewhentherainfallsdownonyou。\"
Hewonderedwhatshemeant，andtheysatoninthestilldarkeningroom。
Shemovedagain。
\"Willyoupresentlytakemycloak——andnewgreycloakfrombehindthedoor—
—andgooutwithit。Youwillfindalittlegraveatthefootofthetallgum—tree；thewaterdripsoffthelong，pointedleaves；youmustcoveritupwiththat。\"
Shemovedrestlesslyasthoughinpain。
Gregoryassented，andtherewassilenceagain。Itwasthefirsttimeshehadeverspokenofherchild。
\"Itwassosmall，\"shesaid；\"itlivedsuchalittlewhile——onlythreehours。Theylaiditclosebyme，butIneversawit；Icouldfeelitbyme。\"Shewaited；\"itsfeetweresocold；Itooktheminmyhandtomakethemwarm，andmyhandclosedrightoverthemtheyweresolittle。\"Therewasanuneventremblinginthevoice。\"Itcreptclosetome；itwantedtodrink，itwantedtobewarm。\"Shehardenedherself——\"Ididnotloveit；
itsfatherwasnotmyprince；Ididnotcareforit；butitwassolittle。\"
Shemovedherhand。\"Theymighthavekissedit，oneofthem，beforetheyputitin。Itneverdidanyoneanyharminallitslittlelife。Theymighthavekissedit，oneofthem。\"
Gregoryfeltthatsomeonewassobbingintheroom。
Lateonintheevening，whentheshutterwasclosedandthelamplighted，andtherain—dropsbeatontheroof，hetookthecloakfrombehindthedoorandwentawaywithit。Onhiswaybackhecalledatthevillagepost—
officeandbroughtbackaletter。Inthehallhestoodreadingtheaddress。Howcouldhefailtoknowwhosehandhadwrittenit？Hadhenotlongagostudiedthosecharactersonthetornfragmentsofpaperintheoldparlour？AburningpainwasatGregory’sheart。Ifnow，nowatthelast，oneshouldcome，shouldstepinbetween！Hecarriedtheletterintothebedroomandgaveittoher。\"Bringmethelampnearer，\"shesaid。Whenshehadreaditsheaskedforherdesk。
ThenGregorysatdowninthelamp—lightontheothersideofthecurtain，andheardthepencilmoveonthepaper。Whenhelookedroundthecurtainshewaslyingonthepillowmusing。Theopenletterlayatherside；sheglancedatitwithsofteyes。Themanwiththelanguideyelidsmusthavebeenstrangelymovedbeforehishandsetdownthosewords：
\"Letmecomebacktoyou！Mydarling，letmeputmyhandroundyou，andguardyoufromalltheworld。Asmywifetheyshallnevertouchyou。I
havelearnttoloveyoumorewisely，moretenderly，thanofold；youshallhaveperfectfreedom。Lyndall，grandlittlewoman，foryourownsakebemywife！
\"Whydidyousendthatmoneybacktome？Youarecrueltome；itisnotrightlydone。\"
Sherolledthelittleredpencilsoftlybetweenherfingers，andherfacegrewverysoft。Yet：
\"Itcannotbe，\"shewrote；\"Ithankyoumuchfortheloveyouhaveshownme；butIcannotlisten。Youwillcallmemad，foolish——theworldwoulddoso；butIknowwhatIneedandthekindofpathImustwalkin。Icannotmarryyou。Iwillalwaysloveyouforthesakeofwhatlaybymethosethreehours；butthereitends。Imustknowandsee，IcannotbeboundtoonewhomIloveasIloveyou。Iamnotafraidoftheworld——Iwillfighttheworld。Oneday——perhapsitmaybefaroff——IshallfindwhatIhavewantedallmylife；somethingnobler，strongerthanI，beforewhichIcankneeldown。Youlosenothingbynothavingmenow；Iamaweak，selfish，erringwoman。OnedayIshallfindsomethingtoworship，andthenIshallbe——\"
\"Nurse，\"shesaid；\"takemydeskaway；Iamsuddenlysosleepy；Iwillwritemoretomorrow。\"Sheturnedherfacetothepillow；itwasthesuddendrowsinessofgreatweakness。Shehaddroppedasleepinamoment，andGregorymovedthedesksoftly，andthensatinthechairwatching。Hourafterhourpassed，buthehadnowishforrest，andsaton，hearingtheraincease，andthestillnightsettledowneverywhere。Ataquarter—pasttwelveherose，andtookalastlookatthebedwhereshelaysleepingsopeacefully；thenheturnedtogotohiscouch。Beforehehadreachedthedoorshehadstartedupandwascallinghimback。
\"Youaresureyouhaveputitup？\"shesaid，withalookofblankterroratthewindow。\"Itwillnotfallopeninthenight，theshutter——youaresure？\"
Hecomfortedher。Yes，itwastightlyfastened。
\"Evenifitisshut，\"shesaid，inawhisper，\"youcannotkeepitout！Youfeelitcominginatfouro’clock，creeping，creeping，up，up；deadlycold！\"Sheshuddered。
Hethoughtshewaswandering，andlaidherlittletremblingbodydownamongtheblankets。
\"Idreamedjustnowthatitwasnotputup，\"shesaid，lookingintohiseyes；\"anditcreptrightinandIwasalonewithit。\"
\"Whatdoyoufear？\"heasked，tenderly。
\"TheGreyDawn，\"shesaid，glancingroundatthewindow。\"Iwasneverafraidofanything，never，whenIwasalittlechild，butIhavealwaysbeenafraidofthat。Youwillnotletitcomeintome？\"
\"No，no；Iwillstaywithyou，\"hecontinued。
Butshewasgrowingcalmer。\"No，youmustgotobed。Ionlyawokewithastart；youmustbetired。Iamchildish，thatisall；\"butsheshiveredagain。
Hesatdownbesideher，aftersometimeshesaid：\"Willyounotrubmyfeet？\"
Hekneltdownatthefootofthebedandtookthetinyfootinhishand；itwasswollenandunsightlynow，butashetouchedithebentdownandcovereditwithkisses。
\"Itmakesitbetterwhenyoukissit；thankyou。Whatmakesyoualllovemeso？\"Thendreamilyshemutteredtoherself：\"Notutterlybad，notquitebad——whatmakesthemalllovemeso？\"
Kneelingthere，rubbingsoftly，withhischeekpressedagainstthelittlefoot，Gregorydroppedtosleepatlast。Howlongheknelttherehecouldnottell；butwhenhestartedupawakeshewasnotlookingathim。Theeyeswerefixedonthefarcorner，gazingwideandintent，withanunearthlylight。
Helookedroundfearfully。Whatdidsheseethere？God’sangelscometocallher？Somethingfearful？Hesawonlythepurplecurtainwiththeshadowsthatfellfromit。Softlyhewhispered，askingwhatshesawthere。
Andshesaid，inavoicestrangelyunlikeherown：\"Iseethevisionofapoor，weaksoulstrivingaftergood。Itwasnotcutshort，andintheenditlearnt，throughtearsandmuchpain，thatholinessisaninfinitecompassionforothers；thatgreatnessistotakethecommonthingsoflifeandwalktrulyamongthem；that\"——Shemovedherwhitehandandlaiditonherforehead——\"happinessisagreatloveandmuchserving。Itwasnotcutshort；anditlovedwhatithadlearnt——itloved——and——\"
Wasthatallshesawinthecorner？
Gregorytoldthelandladythenextmorningthatshehadbeenwanderingallnight。Yet，whenhecameintogiveherherbreakfast，shewassittingupagainstthepillows，lookingashehadnotseenherlookbefore。
\"Putitclosetome，\"shesaid，\"andwhenIhavehadbreakfastIamgoingtodress。\"
Shefinishedallhehadbroughthereagerly。
\"Iamsittingupquitebymyself，\"shesaid。\"Givemehismeat；\"andshefedthedogherself，cuttinghisfoodsmallforhim。Shemovedtothesideofthebed。
\"Nowbringthechairnearanddressme。Itisbeinginthisroomsolong，andlookingatthatmiserablelittlebitofsunshinethatcomesinthroughtheshutter，thatismakingmesoill。Alwaysthatlion’spaw！\"shesaid，withalookofdisgustatit。\"Comeanddressme。\"Gregorykneltonthefloorbeforeher，andtriedtodrawononestocking，butthelittleswollenfootrefusedtobecovered。
\"ItisveryfunnythatIshouldhavegrownsofatsinceIhavebeensoill，\"shesaid，peeringdowncuriously。\"Perhapsitiswantofexercise。\"
Shelookedtroubledandsaidagain，\"Perhapsitiswantofexercise。\"ShewantedGregorytosaysotoo。Butheonlyfoundalargerpair；andthentriedtoforcetheshoes，oh，sotenderly，ontoherlittlefeet。
\"There，\"shesaid，lookingdownatthemwhentheywereon，withthedelightofasmallchildoveritsfirstshoes，\"Icouldwalkfarnow。Howniceitlooks！\"
\"No，\"shesaid，seeingthesoftgownhehadpreparedforher，\"Iwillnotputthaton。Getoneofmywhitedresses——theonewiththepinkbows。I
donotevenwanttothinkIhavebeenill。Itisthinkingandthinkingofthingsthatmakesthemreal，\"shesaid。\"Whenyoudrawyourmindtogether，andresolvethatathingshallnotbe，itgiveswaybeforeyou；itisnot。
Everythingispossibleifoneisresolved，\"shesaid。Shedrewinherlittlelipstogether，andGregoryobeyedher；shewassosmallandslightnowitwaslikedressingasmalldoll。Hewouldhaveliftedherdownfromthebedwhenhehadfinished，butshepushedhimfromher，laughingverysoftly。Itwasthefirsttimeshehadlaughedinthoselong，drearymonths。
\"No，no；Icangetdownmyself，\"shesaid，slippingcautiouslyontothefloor。\"Yousee！\"Shecastadefiantglanceoftriumphwhenshestoodthere。\"Holdthecurtainuphigh，Iwanttolookatmyself。\"
Heraisedit，andstoodholdingit。Shelookedintotheglassontheoppositewall。
Suchaqueenlylittlefigureinitspinkandwhite。Suchatransparentlittleface，refinedbysufferingintoanalmostangel—likebeauty。Thefacelookedather；shelookedback，laughingsoftly。Doss，quiveringwithexcitement，ranroundher，barking。Shetookonesteptowardthedoor，balancingherselfwithoutstretchedhands。
\"Iamnearlythere，\"shesaid。
Thenshegropedblindly。
\"Oh，Icannotsee！Icannotsee！WhereamI？\"shecried。
WhenGregoryreachedhershehadfallenwithherfaceagainstthesharpfootofthewardrobeandcutherforehead。Verytenderlyheraisedthelittlecrushedheapofmuslinandribbons，andlaiditonthebed。Dossclimbedup，andsatlookingdownatit。VerysoftlyGregory’shandsdisrobedher。
\"Youwillbestrongertomorrow，andthenweshalltryagain，\"hesaid，butsheneitherlookedathimnorstirred。
Whenhehadundressedher，andlaidherinbed，Dossstretchedhimselfacrossherfeetandlaywhiningsoftly。
Soshelayallthatmorning，andallthatafternoon。
AgainandagainGregorycreptclosetothebedsideandlookedather；butshedidnotspeaktohim。Wasitstupororwasitsleepthatshoneunderthosehalf—closedeyelids。Gregorycouldnottell。
Atlastintheeveninghebentoverher。
\"Theoxenhavecome，\"hesaid；\"wecanstarttomorrowifyoulike。ShallI
getthewagonreadytonight？\"
Twiceherepeatedhisquestion。Thenshelookedupathim，andGregorysawthatallhopehaddiedoutofthebeautifuleyes。Itwasnotstuporthatshonethere，itwasdespair。
\"Yes，letusgo，\"shesaid。
\"Itmakesnodifference，\"saidthedoctor；\"stayingorgoing；itisclosenow。\"
SothenextdayGregorycarriedheroutinhisarmstothewagonwhichstoodinspannedbeforethedoor。Ashelaidherdownonthekartelshelookedfaroutacrosstheplain。Forthefirsttimeshespokethatday。
\"Thatbluemountain，faraway；letusstopwhenwegettoit，notbefore。\"
Sheclosedhereyesagain。Hedrewthesailsdownbeforeandbehind，andthewagonrolledawayslowly。Thelandladyandtheniggersstoodtowatchitfromthestoep。
Verysilentlythegreatwagonrolledalongthegrass—coveredplain。Thedriveronthefrontboxdidnotclaphiswhiporcalltohisoxen，andGregorysatbesidehimwithfoldedarms。Behindthem，intheclosedwagon，shelaywiththedogatherfeet，veryquiet，withfoldedhands。He，Gregory，darednotbeinthere。LikeHagar，whenshelaidhertreasuredowninthewilderness，hesatafaroff：——\"ForHagarsaid，Letmenotseethedeathofthechild。\"
Eveningcame，andyetthebluemountainwasnotreached，andallthenextdaytheyrodeonslowly，butstillitwasfaroff。Onlyateveningtheyreachedit；notbluenow，butlowandbrown，coveredwithlongwavinggrassesandroughstones。Theydrewthewagonupclosetoitsfootforthenight。Itwasasheltered，warmspot。
Whenthedarknighthadcome，whenthetiredoxenweretiedtothewheels，andthedriverandleaderhadrolledthemselvesintheirblanketsbeforethefire，andgonetosleep，thenGregoryfasteneddownthesailsofthewagonsecurely。Hefixedalongcandleneartheheadofthebed，andlaydownhimselfonthefloorofthewagonneartheback。Heleanedhisheadagainstthekartel，andlistenedtothechewingofthetiredoxen，andtothecracklingofthefire，till，overpoweredbyweariness，hefellintoaheavysleep。Thenallwasverystillinthewagon。Thedogsleptonhismistress’feet，andonlytwomosquitoes，creepinginthroughagapinthefrontsail，buzzeddrearilyround。
Thenightwasgrownveryoldwhenfromalong，peacefulsleepLyndallawoke。Thecandleburntatherhead，thedoglayonherfeet；butheshivered；itseemedasthoughacoldnessstruckuptohimfromhisresting—
place。Shelaywithfoldedhands，lookingupward；andsheheardtheoxenchewing，andshesawthetwomosquitoesbuzzingdrearilyroundandround，andherthoughts——herthoughtsranfarbackintothepast。
Throughthesemonthsofanguishamisthadrestedonhermind；itwasrolledtogethernow，andtheoldclearintellectawokefromitslongtorpor。Itlookedbackintothepast，itsawthepresent；therewasnofuturenow。Theoldstrongsoulgathereditselftogetherforthelasttime；itknewwhereitstood。
Slowlyraisingherselfonherelbow，shetookfromthesailaglassthathungpinnedthere。Herfingerswerestiffandcold。Sheputthepillowonherbreast，andstoodtheglassagainstit。Thenthewhitefaceonthepillowlookedintothewhitefaceintheglass。Theyhadlookedateachotheroftensobefore。Ithadbeenachild’sfaceonce，lookingoutaboveitsbluepinafore；ithadbeenawoman’sface，withadimshadowintheeyes，andasomethingwhichhadsaid，\"Wearenotafraid，youandI；wearetogether；wewillfight，youandI。\"Nowtonightithadcometothis。
Thedyingeyesonthepillowlookedintothedyingeyesintheglass；theyknewthattheirhourhadcome。Sheraisedonehandandpressedthestifffingersagainsttheglass。Theyweregrowingverystiff。Shetriedtospeaktoit，butshewouldneverspeakagain。Onlythewonderfulyearninglightwasintheeyesstill。Thebodywasdeadnow，butthesoul，clearandunclouded，lookedforth。
Thenslowly，withoutasound，thebeautifuleyesclosed。Thedeadfacethattheglassreflectedwasathingofmarvelousbeautyandtranquillity。
TheGreyDawncreptinoveritandsawitlyingthere。
Hadshefoundwhatshesoughtfor——somethingtoworship？Hadsheceasedfrombeing？Whoshalltellus？ThereisaveilofterriblemistoverthefaceoftheHereafter。
Chapter2。XIII。Dreams。
\"Tellmewhatasouldesires，andIwilltellyouwhatitis。\"Sorunsthephrase。
\"Tellmewhatamandreams，andIwilltellyouwhatheloves。\"Thatalsohasitstruth。
For，everfromtheearliestchildhoodtothelatestage，daybyday，andstepbystep，thebusywakinglifeisfollowedandreflectedbythelifeofdreams——wakingdreams，sleepingdreams。Weird，misty，anddistortedastheinvertedimageofamirage，orafigureseenthroughthemountainmist，theyarestillthereflectionsofareality。
OnthenightwhenGregorytoldhisstoryWaldosatalonebeforethefire，hisuntastedsupperbeforehim。Hewaswearyafterhisday’swork——toowearytoeat。HeputtheplatedownonthefloorforDoss，wholickeditclean，andthenwentbacktohiscorner。Afteratimethemasterthrewhimselfacrossthefootofthebedwithoutundressing，andfellasleepthere。Hesleptsolongthatthecandleburntitselfout，andtheroomwasindarkness。Buthedreamedalovelydreamashelaythere。
Inhisdream，tohisrightrosehighmountains，theirtopscrownedwithsnow，theirsidesclothedwithbushandbathedinthesunshine。Attheirfeetwasthesea，blueandbreezy，bluerthananyearthlysea，liketheseahehaddreamedofinhisboyhood。Inthenarrowforestthatranbetweenthemountainsandtheseatheairwasrichthatthescentofthehoney—
creeperthathungfromdarkgreenbushes，andthroughthevelvetygrasslittlestreamsranpurlingdownintothesea。
Hesatonahighsquarerockamongthebushes，andLyndallsatbyhimandsangtohim。Shewasonlyasmallchild，withabluepinafore，andagrave，grave，littleface。Hewaslookingupatthemountains，thensuddenlywhenhelookedroundshewasgone。Heslippeddownfromhisrock，andwenttolookforher，buthefoundonlyherlittlefootmarks；hefoundthemonthebrightgreengrass，andinthemoistsand，andtherewherethelittlestreamsranpurlingdownintothesea。Inandout，inandout，andamongthebusheswherethehoney—creeperhung，hewentlookingforher。Atlast，faroff，inthesunshine，hesawhergatheringshellsuponthesand。
Shewasnotachildnow，butawoman，andthesunshoneonhersoftbrownhair，andinherwhitedresssheputtheshellsshegathered。Shewasstooping，butwhensheheardhisstepshestoodup，holdingherskirtcloseabouther，andwaitedforhiscoming。Onehandsheputinhis，andtogethertheywalkedonovertheglitteringsandandpinksea—shells；andtheyheardtheleavestalking，andtheyheardthewatersbabblingontheirwaytothesea，andtheyheardtheseasingingtoitself，singing，singing。
Atlasttheycametoaplacewherewasalongreachofpurewhitesand；
thereshestoodstill，anddroppedontothesandonebyonetheshellsthatshehadgathered。Thenshelookedupintohisfacewithherbeautifuleyes。Shesaidnothing；butsheliftedonehandandlaiditsoftlyonhisforehead；theothershelaidonhisheart。
WithacryofsuppressedagonyWaldosprungfromthebed，flungopentheupperhalfofthedoor，andleanedout，breathingheavily。
GreatGod！itmightbeonlyadream，butthepainwasveryreal，asthoughakniferanthroughhisheart，asthoughsometreacherousmurderercreptonhiminthedark！Thestrongmandrewhisbreathlikeafrightenedwoman。
\"Onlyadream，butthepainwasveryreal，\"hemuttered，ashepressedhisrighthanduponhisbreast。Thenhefoldedhisarmsonthedoor，andstoodlookingoutintothestarlight。
Thedreamwaswithhimstill；thewomanwhowashisfriendwasnotseparatedfromhimbyyears——onlythatverynighthehadseenher。Helookedupintothenightskythatallhislifelonghadmingleditselfwithhisexistence。Therewereathousandfacesthathelovedlookingdownathim，athousandstarsintheirglory，incrowns，andcircles，andsolitarygrandeur。Tothemantheywerenotlessdearthantotheboytheyhadbeennotlessmysterious；yethelookedupatthemandshuddered；atlastturnedawayfromthemwithhorror。Suchcountlessmultitudesstretchingoutfarintospace，andyetnotinoneofthemallwasshe！Thoughhesearchedthroughthemall，tothefurthest，faintestpointoflight，nowhereshouldheeversay，\"Sheishere！\"Tomorrow’ssunwouldriseandgildtheworld’smountains，andshineintoitsthousandvalleys；itwouldsetandthestarscreepoutagain。Yearafteryear，centuryaftercentury，theoldchangesofnaturewouldgoon，dayandnight，summerandwinter，seed—timeandharvest；butinnoneofthemallwouldshehavepart！
Heshutthedoortokeepouttheirhideousshining，andbecausethedarkwasintolerablelitacandle，andpacedthelittleroom，fasterandfasteryet。Hesawbeforehimthelongagesofeternitythatwouldrollon，on，on，andneverbringher。Shewouldexistnomore。Adarkmistfilledthelittleroom。
\"Oh，littlehand！oh，littlevoice！oh，littleform！\"hecried；oh，littlesoulthatwalkedwithmine！oh，littlesoul，thatlookedsofearlesslydownintothedepths，doyouexistnomoreforever——foralltime？\"Hecriedmorebitterly：\"Itisforthishour——this——thatmenblindreason，andcrushoutthought！Forthishour——this，this——theybartertruthandknowledge，takeanylie，anycreed，soitdoesnotwhispertothemofthedeadthattheyaredead！Oh，God！foraHereafter！\"
