第1章

类别:其他 作者:Herbert George Wells字数:9349更新时间:19/01/07 15:15:33
CHAPTERI INSOMNIA Oneafternoon,atlowwater,Mr。Isbister,ayoungartistlodgingatBoscastle,walkedfromthatplacetothepicturesquecoveofPentargen,desiringtoexaminethecavesthere。HalfwaydowntheprecipitouspathtothePentargenbeachhecamesuddenlyuponamansittinginanattitudeofprofounddistressbeneathaprojectingmassofrock。Thehandsofthismanhunglimplyoverhisknees,hiseyeswereredandstaringbeforehim,andhisfacewaswetwithtears。 HeglancedroundatIsbister’sfootfall。Bothmenweredisconcerted,Isbisterthemoreso,and,tooverridetheawkwardnessofhisinvoluntarypause,heremarked,withanairofmatureconviction,thattheweatherwashotforthetimeofyear。 \"Very,\"answeredthestrangershortly,hesitatedasecond,andaddedinacolourlesstone,\"Ican’tsleep。\" Isbisterstoppedabruptly。\"No?\"wasallhesaid,buthisbearingconveyedhishelpfulimpulse。 \"Itmaysoundincredible,\"saidthestranger,turningwearyeyestoIsbister’sfaceandemphasizinghiswordswithalanguidhand,\"butIhavehadnosleep———nosleepatallforsixnights。\" \"Hadadvice?\" \"Yes。Badadviceforthemostpart。Drugs。Mynervoussystem……Theyareallverywellfortherunofpeople。It’shardtoexplain。Idarenottake……sufficientlypowerfuldrugs。\" \"Thatmakesitdifficult,\"saidIsbister。 Hestoodhelplesslyinthenarrowpath,perplexedwhattodo。Clearlythemanwantedtotalk。Anideanaturalenoughunderthecircumstances,promptedhimtokeeptheconversationgoing。\"I’veneversufferedfromsleeplessnessmyself,\"hesaidinatoneofcommonplacegossip,\"butinthosecasesIhaveknown,peoplehaveusuallyfoundsomething——\" \"Idaremakenoexperiments。\" Hespokewearily。Hegaveagestureofrejection,andforaspacebothmenweresilent。 \"Exercise?\"suggestedIsbisterdiffidently,withaglancefromhisinterlocutor’sfaceofwretchednesstothetouringcostumehewore。 \"ThatiswhatIhavetried。Unwiselyperhaps。I havefollowedthecoast,dayafterday——fromNewQuay。Ithasonlyaddedmuscularfatiguetothemental。 Thecauseofthisunrestwasoverwork——trouble。 Therewassomething——\" Hestoppedasiffromsheerfatigue。Herubbedhisforeheadwithaleanhand。Heresumedspeechlikeonewhotalkstohimself。 \"Iamalonewolf,asolitaryman,wanderingthroughaworldinwhichIhavenopart。Iamwifeless—— childless——whoisitspeaksofthechildlessasthedeadtwigsonthetreeoflife?Iamwifeless,Ichildless——Icouldfindnodutytodo。Nodesireeveninmyheart。OnethingatlastIsetmyselftodo。 \"Isaid,Iwilldothis,andtodoit,toovercometheinertiaofthisdullbody,Iresortedtodrugs。GreatGod,I’vehadenoughofdrugs!Idon’tknowif__you__ feeltheheavyinconvenienceofthebody,itsexasperatingdemandoftimefromthemind——time—— life!Live!Weonlyliveinpatches。Wehavetoeat,andthencomesthedulldigestivecomplacencies—— orirritations。Wehavetotaketheairorelseourthoughtsgrowsluggish,stupid,runintogulfsandblindalleys。Athousanddistractionsarisefromwithinandwithout,andthencomesdrowsinessandsleep。Menseemtoliveforsleep。Howlittleofaman’sdayishisown——evenatthebest!Andthencomethosefalsefriends,thoseThughelpers,thealkaloidsthatstiflenaturalfatigueandkillrest—— blackcoffee,cocaine——\" \"Isee,\"saidIsbister。 \"Ididmywork,\"saidthesleeplessmanwithaquerulousintonation。 \"Andthisistheprice?\" \"Yes。\" Foralittlewhilethetworemainedwithoutspeaking。 \"YoucannotimaginethecravingforrestthatI feel——ahungerandthirst。Forsixlongdays,sincemyworkwasdone,mymindhasbeenawhirlpool,swift,unprogressiveandincessant,atorrentofthoughtsleadingnowhere,spinningroundswiftandsteady——\" Hepaused。\"Towardsthegulf。\" \"Youmustsleep,\"saidIsbisterdecisively,andwithanairofaremedydiscovered。\"Certainlyyoumustsleep。\" \"Mymindisperfectlylucid。Itwasneverclearer。 ButIknowIamdrawingtowardsthevortex。 Presently——\" \"Yes?\" \"Youhaveseenthingsgodownaneddy?Outofthelightoftheday,outofthissweetworldofsanity—— down——\" \"But,\"expostulatedIsbister。 Themanthrewoutahandtowardshim,andhiseyeswerewild,andhisvoicesuddenlyhigh。\"Ishallkillmyself。Ifinnootherway——atthefootofyonderdarkprecipicethere,wherethewavesaregreen,andthewhitesurgeliftsandfalls,andthatlittlethreadofwatertremblesdown。Thereatanyrateis……sleep。\" \"That’sunreasonable,\"saidIsbister,startledattheman’shystericalgustofemotion。\"Drugsarebetterthanthat。\" \"Thereatanyrateissleep,\"repeatedthestranger,notheedinghim。 IsbisterlookedathimandwonderedtransitorilyifsomecomplexProvidencehadindeedbroughtthemtogetherthatafternoon。\"It’snotacert,youknow,\" heremarked。\"There’saclifflikethatatLulworthCove——ashigh,anyhow——andalittlegirlfellfromtoptobottom。Andlivesto—day——soundandwell。\" \"Butthoserocksthere?\" \"Onemightlieonthemratherdismallythroughacoldnight,brokenbonesgratingasoneshivered,chillwatersplashingoveryou。Eh?\" Theireyesmet。\"Sorrytoupsetyourideals,\"saidIsbisterwithasenseofdevil—may—careishbrilliance。 \"Butasuicideoverthatcliff(oranycliffforthematterofthat),really,asanartist——\"Helaughed。 \"It’ssodamnedamateurish。\" \"Buttheotherthing,\"saidthesleeplessmanirritably,\"theotherthing。Nomancankeepsaneifnightafternight——\" \"Haveyoubeenwalkingalongthiscoastalone?\" \"Yes。\" \"Sillysortofthingtodo。Ifyou’llexcusemysayingso。Alone!Asyousay;bodyfagisnocureforbrainfag。Whotoldyouto?Nowonder; walking!Andthesunonyourhead,heat,fag,solitude,allthedaylong,andthen,Isuppose,yougotobedandtryveryhard——eh?\" Isbisterstoppedshortandlookedatthesuffererdoubtfully。 \"Lookattheserocks!\"criedtheseatedmanwithasuddenforceofgesture。\"Lookatthatseathathasshoneandquiveredthereforever!Seethewhitespumerushintodarknessunderthatgreatcliff。Andthisbluevault,withtheblindingsunpouringfromthedomeofit。Itisyourworld。Youacceptit,yourejoiceinit。Itwarmsandsupportsanddelightsyou。 Andforme——\" Heturnedhisheadandshowedaghastlyface,bloodshotpallideyesandbloodlesslips。Hespokealmostinawhisper。\"Itisthegarmentofmymisery。 Thewholeworld……isthegarmentofmymisery。\" IsbisterlookedatallthewildbeautyofthesunlitcliffsaboutthemandbacktothatfaceofdespairForamomenthewassilent。 Hestarted,andmadeagestureofimpatientrejection。 \"Yougetanight’ssleep,\"hesaid,\"andyouwon’tseemuchmiseryouthere。Takemywordforit。\" Hewasquitesurenowthatthiswasaprovidentialencounter。Onlyhalfanhouragohehadbeenfeelinghorriblybored。Herewasemploymentthebarethoughtofwhichwasrighteousself—applause。Hetookpossessionforthwith。ItseemedtohimthatthefirstneedofthisexhaustedbeingwascompanionshipHeflunghimselfdownonthesteeplyslopingturfbesidethemotionlessseatedfigure,anddeployedforthwithintoaskirmishinglineofgossip。 Hishearerseemedtohavelapsedintoapathy; hestareddismallyseaward,andspokeonlyinanswertoIsbister’sdirectquestions——andnottoallofthoseButhemadenosignofobjectiontothisbenevolentintrusionuponhisdespair。 Inahelplesswayheseemedevengrateful,andwhenpresentlyIsbister,feelingthathisunsupportedtalkwaslosingvigour,suggestedthattheyshouldreascendthesteepandreturntowardsBoscastle,allegingtheviewintoBlackapit,hesubmittedquietly。 Halfwayuphebegantalkingtohimself,andabruptlyturnedaghastlyfaceonhishelper。\"Whatcanbehappening?\"heaskedwithagauntillustrativehand。 \"Whatcanbehappening?Spin,spin,spin,spin。Itgoesroundandround,roundandroundforevermore。\" Hestoodwithhishandcircling\"It’sallright,oldchap,\"saidIsbisterwiththeairofanoldfriend。\"Don’tworryyourself。Trusttome。\" Themandroppedhishandandturnedagain。TheywentoverthebrowinsinglefileandtotheheadlandbeyondPenally,withthesleeplessmangesticulatingeverandagain,andspeakingfragmentarythingsconcerninghiswhirlingbrain。AttheheadlandtheystoodforaspacebytheseatthatlooksintothedarkmysteriesofBlackapit,andthenhesatdown。Isbisterhadresumedhistalkwheneverthepathhadwidenedsufficientlyforthemtowalkabreast。HewasenlarginguponthecomplexdifficultyofmakingBoscastleHarbourinbadweather,whensuddenlyandquiteirrelevantlyhiscompanioninterruptedhimagain。 \"Myheadisnotlikewhatitwas,\"hesaid,gesticulatingforwantofexpressivephrases。\"It’snotlikewhatitwas。Thereisasortofoppression,aweight。 No——notdrowsiness,wouldGoditwere!Itislikeashadow,adeepshadowfallingsuddenlyandswiftlyacrosssomethingbusy。Spin,spinintothedarknessThetumultofthought,theconfusion,theeddyandeddy。Ican’texpressit。Icanhardlykeepmymindonit——steadilyenoughtotellyou。\" Hestoppedfeebly。 \"Don’ttrouble,oldchap,\"saidIsbister。\"IthinkIcanunderstand。Atanyrate,itdon’tmatterverymuchjustatpresentabouttellingme,youknow。\" Thesleeplessmanthrusthisknucklesintohiseyesandrubbedthem。Isbistertalkedforawhilewhilethisrubbingcontinued,andthenhehadafreshidea。 \"Comedowntomyroom,\"hesaid,\"andtryapipe。 IcanshowyousomesketchesofthisBlackapit。Ifyou’dcare?\" Theotherroseobedientlyandfollowedhimdownthesteep。 SeveraltimesIsbisterheardhimstumbleastheycamedown,andhismovementswereslowandhesitating。 \"Comeinwithme,\"saidIsbister,\"andtrysomecigarettesandtheblessedgiftofalcohol。Ifyoutakealcohol?\" Thestrangerhesitatedatthegardengate。Heseemednolongerclearlyawareofhisactions。\"I don’tdrink,\"hesaidslowly,comingupthegardenpath,andafteramoment’sintervalrepeatedabsently,\"No——Idon’tdrink。Itgoesround。Spin,itgoes——spin——\" Hestumbledatthedoorstepandenteredtheroomwiththebearingofonewhoseesnothing。 Thenhesatdownabruptlyandheavilyintheeasychair,seemedalmosttofallintoit。Heleantforwardwithhisbrowsonhishandsandbecamemotionless。 Presentlyhemadeafaintsoundinhisthroat。 Isbistermovedabouttheroomwiththenervousnessofaninexperiencedhost,makinglittleremarksthatscarcelyrequiredanswering。Hecrossedtheroomtohisportfolio,placeditonthetableandnoticedthemantelclock。 \"Idon’tknowifyou’dcaretohavesupperwithme,\"hesaidwithanunlightedcigaretteinhishand—— hismindtroubledwithadesignofthefurtiveadministrationofchloral。\"Onlycoldmutton,youknow,butpassingsweet。Welsh。Andatart,Ibelieve。\" Herepeatedthisaftermomentarysilence。 Theseatedmanmadenoanswer。Isbisterstopped,matchinhand,regardinghim。 Thestillnesslengthened。Thematchwentout,thecigarettewasputdownunlit。Themanwascertainlyverystill。Isbistertookuptheportfolio,openedit,putitdown,hesitated,seemedabouttospeak。 \"Perhaps,\"hewhispereddoubtfully。Presentlyheglancedatthedoorandbacktothefigure。Thenhestoleontiptoeoutoftheroom,glancingathiscompanionaftereachelaboratepace。 Heclosedthedoornoiselessly。Thehousedoorwasstandingopen,andhewentoutbeyondtheporch,andstoodwherethemonkshoodroseatthecornerofthegardenbed。Fromthispointhecouldseethestrangerthroughtheopenwindow,stillanddim,sittingheadonhand。Hehadnotmoved。 Anumberofchildrengoingalongtheroadstoppedandregardedtheartistcuriously。Aboatmanexchangedcivilitieswithhim。Hefeltthatpossiblyhiscircumspectattitudeandpositionseemedpeculiarandunaccountable。Smoking,perhaps,mightseemmorenatural。Hedrewpipeandpouchfromhispocket,filledthepipeslowly。 \"Iwonder,\"……hesaid,withascarcelyperceptiblelossofcomplacency。\"Atanyratewemustgivehimachance。\"Hestruckamatchinthevirileway,andproceededtolighthispipe。 Presentlyheheardhislandladybehindhim,comingwithhislamplitfromthekitchen。Heturned,gesticulatingwithhispipe,andstoppedheratthedoorofhissitting—room。Hehadsomedifficultyinexplainingthesituationinwhispers,forshedidnotknowhehadavisitor。Sheretreatedagainwiththelamp,stillalittlemystifiedtojudgefromhermanner,andheresumedhishoveringatthecorneroftheporch,flushedandlessathisease。 Longafterhehadsmokedouthispipe,andwhenthebatswereabroad,hiscuriositydominatedhiscomplexhesitations,andhestolebackintohisdarklingsitting—room。Hepausedinthedoorway。Thestrangerwasstillinthesameattitude,darkagainstthewindow。Saveforthesingingofsomesailorsaboardoneofthelittleslate—carryingshipsintheharbour,theeveningwasverystill。Outside,thespikesofmonkshoodanddelphiniumstooderectandmotionlessagainsttheshadowofthehillside。SomethingflashedintoIsbister’smind;hestarted,andleaningoverthetable,listened。Anunpleasantsuspiciongrewstronger;becameconviction。Astonishmentseizedhimandbecame——dread! Nosoundofbreathingcamefromtheseatedfigure! Hecreptslowlyandnoiselesslyroundthetable,pausingtwicetolisten。Atlasthecouldlayhishandonthebackofthearmchair。Hebentdownuntilthetwoheadswereeartoear。 Thenhebentstilllowertolookupathisvisitor’sface。Hestartedviolentlyandutteredanexclamation。 Theeyeswerevoidspacesofwhite。 Helookedagainandsawthattheywereopenandwiththepupilsrolledunderthelids。Hewassuddenlyafraid。Overcomebythestrangenessoftheman’scondition,hetookhimbytheshoulderandshookhim。\"Areyouasleep?\"hesaid,withhisvoicejumpingintoalto,andagain,\"Areyouasleep?\" Aconvictiontookpossessionofhismindthatthismanwasdead。Hesuddenlybecameactiveandnoisy,strodeacrosstheroom,blunderingagainstthetableashedidso,andrangthebell。 \"Pleasebringalightatonce,\"hesaidinthepassage。 \"Thereissomethingwrongwithmyfriend。\" Thenhereturnedtothemotionlessseatedfigure,graspedtheshoulder,shookit,andshouted。Theroomwasfloodedwithyellowglareashisastonishedlandladyenteredwiththelight。Hisfacewaswhiteasheturnedblinkingtowardsher。\"Imustfetchadoctoratonce,\"hesaid。\"Itiseitherdeathorafit。Isthereadoctorinthevillage?Whereisadoctortobefound?\" THETRANCE Thestateofcatalepticrigourintowhichthismanhadfallen,lastedforanunprecedentedlengthoftime,andthenhepassedslowlytotheflaccidstate,toalaxattitudesuggestiveofprofoundrepose。Thenitwashiseyescouldbeclosed。 HewasremovedfromthehoteltotheBoscastlesurgery,andfromthesurgery,aftersomeweeks,toLondon。Buthestillresistedeveryattemptatreanimation。Afteratime,forreasonsthatwillappearlater,theseattemptswerediscontinued。Foragreatspacehelayinthatstrangecondition,inertandstillneitherdeadnorlivingbut,asitwere,suspended,hangingmidwaybetweennothingnessandexistence。 Hiswasadarknessunbrokenbyarayofthoughtorsensation,adreamlessinanition,avastspaceofpeace。 Thetumultofhismindhadswelledandrisentoanabruptclimaxofsilence。Wherewastheman? Whereisanymanwheninsensibilitytakesholdofhim? \"Itseemsonlyyesterday,\"saidIsbister。\"I rememberitallasthoughithappenedyesterday—— clearerperhaps,thanifithadhappenedyesterday。\" ItwastheIsbisterofthelastchapter,buthewasnolongerayoungman。Thehairthathadbeenbrownandatrifleinexcessofthefashionablelength,wasirongreyandclippedclose,andthefacethathadbeenpinkandwhitewasbuffandruddy。Hehadapointedbeardshotwithgrey。Hetalkedtoanelderlymanwhoworeasummersuitofdrill(thesummerofthatyearwasunusuallyhot)。ThiswasWarming,aLondonsolicitorandnextofkintoGraham,themanwhohadfallenintothetrance。AndthetwomenstoodsidebysideinaroominahouseinLondonregardinghisrecumbentfigure。 ItwasayellowfigureIyinglaxuponawater—bedandcladinaflowingshirt,afigurewithashrunkenfaceandastubbybeard,leanlimbsandlanknails,andaboutitwasacaseofthinglass。Thisglassseemedtomarkoffthesleeperfromtherealityoflifeabouthim,hewasathingapart,astrange,isolatedabnormality。 Thetwomenstoodclosetotheglass,peeringin。 \"Thethinggavemeashock,\"saidIsbister\"I feelaqueersortofsurpriseevennowwhenIthinkofhiswhiteeyes。Theywerewhite,youknow,rolledup。Cominghereagainbringsitallbacktome。 \"Haveyouneverseenhimsincethattime?\"askedWarming。 \"Oftenwantedtocome,\"saidIsbister;\"butbusinessnowadaysistooseriousathingformuchholidaykeeping。I’vebeeninAmericamostofthetime。\" \"IfIrememberrightly,\"saidWarming,\"youwereanartist?\" \"Was。AndthenIbecameamarriedman。Isawitwasallupwithblackandwhite,verysoon——atleastforamediocreman,andIjumpedontoprocess。 ThosepostersontheCliffsatDoverarebymypeople。\" \"Goodposters,\"admittedthesolicitor,\"thoughI| wassorrytoseethemthere。\"I \"Lastaslongasthecliffs,ifnecessary,\"exclaimedIsbisterwithsatisfaction。\"Theworldchanges。 Whenhefellasleep,twentyyearsago,IwasdownatBoscastlewithaboxofwater—coloursandanoble,old—fashionedambition。Ididn’texpectthatsomedaymypigmentswouldglorifythewholeblessedcoastofEngland,fromLand’sEndroundagaintotheLizard。 Luckcomestoamanveryoftenwhenhe’snotlooking。\" Warmingseemedtodoubtthequalityoftheluck。 \"Ijustmissedseeingyou,ifIrecollectaright。\" \"YoucamebackbythetrapthattookmetoCamelfordrailwaystation。ItwascloseontheJubilee,Victoria’sJubilee,becauseIremembertheseatsandflagsinWestminster,andtherowwiththecabmanatChelsea。\" \"TheDiamondJubilee,itwas,\"saidWarming; \"thesecondone。\" \"Ah,yes!AttheproperJubilee——theFiftyYearaffair——IwasdownatWookey——aboy。Imissedallthat……Whatafusswehadwithhim!Mylandladywouldn’ttakehimin,wouldn’tlethimstay—— helookedsoqueerwhenhewasrigid。Wehadtocarryhiminachairuptothehotel。AndtheBoscastledoctor——itwasn’tthepresentchap,buttheG。P。beforehim——wasathimuntilnearlytwo,with,meandthelandlordholdinglightsandsoforth。\" \"Itwasacatalepticrigouratfirst,wasn’tit?\" \"Stiff!——whereveryoubenthimhestuck。Youmighthavestoodhimonhisheadandhe’dhavestopped。Ineversawsuchstiffness。Ofcoursethis\" ——heindicatedtheprostratefigurebyamovementofhishead——\"isquitedifferent。And,ofcourse,thelittledoctor——whatwashisname?\" \"Smithers?\" \"Smithersitwas——wasquitewrongintryingtofetchhimroundtoosoon,accordingtoallaccounts。 Thethingshedid。Evennowitmakesmefeelall—— ugh!Mustard,snuff,pricking。Andoneofthosebeastlylittlethings,notdynamos——\" \"Inductioncoils。\" \"Yes。Youcouldseehismusclesthrobandjump,andhetwistedabout。Therewasjusttwoflaringyellowcandles,andalltheshadowswereshivering,andthelittledoctornervousandputtingonside,andhim——starkandsquirminginthemostunnaturalways。Well,itmademedream。\" Pause。 \"It’sastrangestate,\"saidWarming。 \"It’sasortofcompleteabsence,\"saidIsbister。 \"Here’sthebody,empty。Notdeadabit,andyetnotalive。It’slikeaseatvacantandmarked’engaged。’ Nofeeling,nodigestion,nobeatingoftheheart——notaflutter。__That__doesn’tmakemefeelasiftherewasamanpresent。Inasenseit’smoredeadthandeath,forthesedoctorstellmethateventhehairhasstoppedgrowing。Nowwiththeproperdead,thehairwillgoongrowing——\" \"Iknow,\"saidWarming,withaflashofpaininhisexpression。 Theypeeredthroughtheglassagain。Grahamwasindeedinastrangestate,intheflaccidphaseofatrance,butatranceunprecedentedinmedicalhistory。 Tranceshadlastedforasmuchasayearbefore——butattheendofthattimeithadeverbeenwakingoradeath;sometimesfirstoneandthentheother。Isbisternotedthemarksthephysicianshadmadeininjectingnourishment,forthatdevicehadbeenresortedtotopostponecollapse;hepointedthemouttoWarming,whohadbeentryingnottoseethem。 \"AndwhilehehasbeenIyinghere,\"saidIsbister,withthezestofalifefreelyspent,\"Ihavechangedmyplansinlife;married,raisedafamily,myeldestlad—— Ihadn’tbeguntothinkofsonsthen——isanAmericancitizen,andlookingforwardtoleavingHarvard。 There’satouchofgreyinmyhair。Andthisman,notadayoldernorwiser(practically)thanIwasinmydownydays。It’scurioustothinkof。\" Warmingturned。\"AndIhavegrownoldtoo。I playedcricketwithhimwhenIwasstillonlyalad。 Andhelooksayoungmanstill。Yellowperhaps。 Butthatisayoungmannevertheless。\" \"Andthere’sbeentheWar,\"saidIsbister。 \"Frombeginningtoend。\" \"AndtheseMartians。\" \"I’veunderstood,\"saidIsbisterafterapause,\"thathehadsomemoderatepropertyofhisown?\" \"Thatisso,\"saidWarming。Hecoughedprimly。 \"Asithappens——havechargeofit。\" \"Ah!\"Isbisterthought,hesitatedandspoke: \"Nodoubt——hiskeephereisnotexpensive——nodoubtitwillhaveimproved——accumulated?\" \"Ithas。Hewillwakeupverymuchbetteroff—— ifhewakes——thanwhenheslept。\" \"Asabusinessman,\"saidIsbister,\"thatthoughthasnaturallybeeninmymind。Ihave,indeed,sometimesthoughtthat,speakingcommercially,ofcourse,thissleepmaybeaverygoodthingforhim。Thatheknowswhatheisabout,sotospeak,inbeinginsensiblesolong。Ifhehadlivedstraighton——\" \"Idoubtifhewouldhavepremeditatedasmuch,\" saidWarming。\"Hewasnotafar—sightedman。Infact——\" \"Yes?\"