第17章

类别:其他 作者:H.Rider Haggard字数:10126更新时间:19/01/07 15:17:55
Shesmiled,and,afteralast,longglance,gavemebackthephotographandtheminiature,sayingasshedeliveredthelatter: \"Irejoicetoseethatyouarefaithful,Humphrey,andwearthispictureonyourheart,aswellasinit。\" \"Thenyoumustbeaveryremarkablewoman,\"saidBickley。 \"NeverbeforedidIhearoneofyoursexrejoicebecauseamanwasfaithfultosomebodyelse。\" \"HasBickleybeendisappointedinhislove—heart,thatheissoangrytouswomen?\"askedYvainnocentlyofme。Then,withoutwaitingforananswer,sheinquiredofhimwhetherhehadbeensuccessfulinhisanalysisoftheLife—water。 \"HowdoyouknowwhatIwasdoingwiththeLife—water?DidBastintellyou?\"exclaimedBickley。 \"Bastintoldmenothing,exceptthathewasafraidofthedescenttoNyo;thathehatedNyowhenhereachedit,asindeedI do,andthathethoughtthatmyfather,theLordOro,wasadevilorevilspiritfromsomeUnder—worldwhichhecalledhell。\" \"Bastinhasanopenheartandanopenmouth,\"saidBickley,\"forwhichIrespecthim。Followhisexampleifyouwill,LadyYva,andtelluswhoandwhatistheLordOro,andwhoandwhatareyou。\" \"Havewenotdonesoalready?Ifnot,Iwillrepeat。TheLordOroandIaretwowhohavelivedonfromtheoldtimewhentheworldwasdifferent,andyet,Ithink,thesame。Heisamanandnotagod,andIamawoman。Hispowersaregreatbecauseofhisknowledge,whichhehasgatheredfromhisforefathersandinalifeofathousandyearsbeforehewenttosleep。Hecandothingsyoucannotdo。Thus,hecanpassthroughspaceandtakeotherswithhim,andreturnagain。Hecanlearnwhatishappeninginfar—offpartsoftheworld,ashedidwhenhetoldyouofthewarinwhichyourcountryisconcerned。Hehasterriblepowers; forinstance,hecankill,ashekilledthosesavages。Also,heknowsthesecretsoftheearth,and,ifitpleaseshim,canchangeitsturningsothatearthquakeshappenandseabecomesland,andlandsea,andtheplacesthatwerehotgrowcold,andthosethatwerecoldgrowhot。\" \"Allofwhichthingshavehappenedmanytimeinthehistoryoftheglobe,\"saidBickley,\"withoutthehelpoftheLordOro。\" \"Othershadknowledgebeforemyfather,andothersdoubtlesswillhaveknowledgeafterhim。EvenI,Yva,havesomeknowledge,andknowledgeisstrength。\" \"Yes,\"Iinterposed,\"butsuchpowersasyouattributetoyourfatherarenotgiventoman。\" \"Youmeantomanasyouknowhim,manlikeBickley,whothinksthathehaslearnedeverythingthatwaseverlearned。Butitisnotso。Hundredsofthousandsofyearsagomenknewmorethanitseemstheydotoday,tentimesmore,astheylivedtentimeslonger,orsoyoutellme。\" \"Men?\"Isaid。 \"Yes,men,notgodsorspirits,astheuninstructednationssupposedthemtobe。Myfatherisamansubjecttothehopesandterrorsofman。Hedesirespowerwhichisambition,andwhentheworldrefusedhisrule,hedestroyedthatpartofitwhichrebelled,whichisrevenge。Moreover,aboveallthingshedreadsdeath,whichisfear。Thatiswhyhesuspendedlifeinhimselfandmefortwohundredandfiftythousandyears,ashisknowledgegavehimstrengthtodo,becausedeathwasnearandhethoughtthatsleepwasbetterthandeath。\" \"Whyshouldhedreadtodie,\"askedBickley,\"seeingthatsleepanddeatharethesame?\" \"BecausehisknowledgetellshimthatSleepandDeatharenotthesame,asyou,inyourfoolishness,believe,forthereBastiniswiserthanyou。BecauseforallhiswisdomheremainsignorantofwhathappenstomanwhentheLightofLifeisblownoutbythebreathofFate。ThatiswhyhefearstodieandwhyhetalkswithBastinthePreacher,whosayshehasthesecretofthefuture。\" \"Anddoyoufeartodie?\"Iasked。 \"No,Humphrey,\"sheansweredgently。\"BecauseIthinkthatthereisnodeath,and,havingdonenowrong,Idreadnoevil。I haddreamswhileIwasasleep,OHumphrey,anditseemedtomethat——\" Heresheceasedandglancedatwheresheknewtheminiaturewashanginguponmybreast。 \"Now,\"shecontinued,afteralittlepause,\"tellmeofyourworld,ofitshistory,ofitslanguages,ofwhathappensthere,forIlongtoknow。\" Sothenandthere,assistedbyBickley,IbegantheeducationoftheLadyYva。Idonotsupposethattherewaseveramoreaptpupilinthewholeearth。Tobeginwith,shewasbetteracquaintedwitheverysubjectonwhichItouchedthanIwasmyself;allshelackedwasinformationastoitsmodernaspect。 Herknowledgeendedtwohundredandfiftythousandyearsago,atwhichdate,however,itwouldseemthatcivilisationhadalreadytouchedahigherwater—markthanithaseversinceattained。 Thus,thisvanishedpeopleunderstoodastronomy,naturalmagnetism,theforceofgravity,steam,alsoelectricitytosomesubtleuseofwhich,Igathered,thelightingoftheirundergroundcitywastobeattributed。Theyhadmasteredarchitectureandthearts,astheirbuildingsandstatuesshowed; theycouldflythroughtheairbetterthanwehavelearnedtodowithinthelastfewyears。 More,they,orsomeofthem,hadlearnedtheuseoftheFourthDimension,thatistheirmostinstructedindividuals,couldmovethroughopposingthings,aswellasoverthem,upintothemandacrossthem。Thispowerthesepossessedinatwo—foldform。I mean,thattheycouldeitherdisintegratetheirbodiesatonespotandcausethemtointegrateagainatanother,ortheycouldprojectwhattheoldEgyptianscalledtheKaorDouble,andmodernTheosophistsnametheAstralShape,toanydistance。 Moreover,thisDouble,orAstralShape,whileitselfinvisible,still,sotospeak,hadtheuseofitssenses。Itcouldsee,itcouldhear,anditcouldremember,and,onreturningtothebody,itcouldavailitselfoftheexperiencethusacquired。 Thus,atleast,saidYva,whileBickleycontemplatedherwithacoldandunbelievingeye。Sheevenwentfurtherandallegedthatincertaininstances,individualsofherextinctracehadbeenabletopassthroughtheetherandtovisitotherworldsinthedepthsofspace。 \"Haveyoueverdonethat?\"askedBickley。 \"OnceortwiceIdreamedthatIdid,\"sherepliedquietly。 \"Wecanalldream,\"heanswered。 Asitwasmylottomakeacquaintancewiththisstrangeanduncannypoweratalaterdate,Iwillsaynomoreofitnow。 Telepathy,shedeclared,wasalsoadevelopedgiftamongtheSonsofWisdom;indeed,theyseemtohaveuseditasweusewirelessmessages。Only,intheircase,thesendingandreceivingstationswereskilledandsusceptiblehumanbeingswhowentondutyforsomanyhoursatatime。Thusintelligencewastransmittedwithaccuracyanddespatch。Thosewhohadthisfacultywere,shesaid,alsoveryaptatreadingthemindsofothersandthereforenoteasytodeceive。 \"IsthathowyouknowthatIhadbeentryingtoanalyseyourLife—water?\"askedBickley。 \"Yes,\"sheanswered,withherunvaryingsmile。\"AtthemomentI spokethereofyouwerewonderingwhethermyfatherwouldbeangryifheknewthatyouhadtakenthewaterinalittleflask。\"Shestudiedhimforamoment,thenadded:\"Nowyouarewondering,first,whetherIdidnotseeyoutakethewaterfromthefountainandguessthepurpose,and,secondly,whetherperhapsBastindidnottellmewhatyouweredoingwithitwhenwemetinthesepulchre。\" \"Lookhere,\"saidtheexasperatedBickley,\"Iadmitthattelepathyandthought—readingarepossibletoacertainlimitedextent。Butsupposingthatyoupossessthosepowers,asIthinkinEnglish,andyoudonotknowEnglish,howcanyouinterpretwhatispassinginmymind?\" \"PerhapsyouhavebeenteachingmeEnglishallthiswhilewithoutknowingit,Bickley。Inanycase,itmatterslittle,seeingthatwhatIreadisthethought,notthelanguagewithwhichitisclothed。Thethoughtcomesfromyourmindtomine—— thatis,ifIwishit,whichisnotoften——andIinterpretitinmyownorothertongues。\" \"Iamgladtohearitisnotoften,LadyYva,sincethoughtsaregenerallyconsideredprivate。\" \"Yes,andthereforeIwillreadyoursnomore。WhyshouldI,whentheyaresofullofdisbeliefofallItellyou,andsometimesofotherthingsaboutmyselfwhichIdonotseektoknow?\" \"Nowonderthat,accordingtothestoryinthepictures,thoseNations,whomyounamedBarbarians,madeanendofyourpeople,LadyYva。\" \"Youaremistaken,Bickley;theLordOromadeanendoftheNations,thoughagainstmyprayer,\"sheaddedwithasighThenBickleydepartedinarage,anddidnotappearagainforanhour。 \"Heisangry,\"shesaid,lookingafterhim;\"nordoIwonder。 ItishardfortheverycleverlikeBickley,whothinkthattheyhavemasteredallthings,tofindthatafteralltheyarequiteignorant。Iamsorryforhim,andIlikehimverymuch。\" \"Thenyouwouldbesorryformealso,LadyYva?\" \"Why?\"sheaskedwithadazzlingsmile,\"whenyourheartisathirstforknowledge,gapingforitlikeafledgling’smouthforfood,and,asitchances,thoughIamnotverywise,Icansatisfysomethingofyoursoul—hunger。\" \"Notverywise!\"Irepeated。 \"No,Humphrey。IthinkthatBastin,whoinmanywaysissostupid,hasmoretruewisdomthanIhave,becausehecanbelieveandacceptwithoutquestion。Afterall,thewisdomofmypeopleisalloftheuniverseanditswonders。Whatyouthinkmagicisnotmagic;itisonlygatheredknowledgeandthefindingoutofsecrets。Bickleywilltellyouthesame,althoughasyethedoesnotbelievethatthemindofmancanstretchsofar。\" \"Youmeanthatyourwisdomhasinitnothingofthespirit?\" \"Yes,Humphrey,thatiswhatImean。Idonotevenknowifthereissuchathingasspirit。OurgodwasFate;Bastin’sgodisaspirit,andIthinkyoursalso。\" \"Yes。\" \"Therefore,IwishyouandBastintoteachmeofyourgod,asdoesOro,myfather。Iwant——oh!somuch,Humphrey,tolearnwhetherweliveafterdeath。\" \"You!\"Iexclaimed。\"Youwho,accordingtothestory,havesleptfortwohundredandfiftythousandyears!You,whohave,unlessImistake,hintedthatduringthatsleepyoumayhavelivedinothershapes!Doyoudoubtwhetherwecanliveafterdeath?\" \"Yes。Sleepinducedbysecretartsisnotdeath,andduringthatsleeptheIwithinmightwanderandinhabitothershapes,becauseitisforbiddentobeidle。Moreover,whatseemstobedeathmaynotbedeath,onlyanotherformofsleepfromwhichtheIawakesagainupontheworld。Butatlastcomestherealdeath,whentheIisextinguishedtotheworld。ThatmuchIknow,becausemypeoplelearnedit。\" \"Youmean,youknowthatmenandwomenmayliveagainandagainupontheworld?\" \"Yes,Humphrey,Ido。Forintheworldthereisonlyacertainstoreoflifewhichinmanyformstravelsonandon,tillthelotofeachIisfulfilled。Thencomestherealdeath,andafterthat——what,oh!——what?\" \"YoumustaskBastin,\"Isaidhumbly。\"Icannotdaretoteachofsuchmatters。\" \"No,butyoucananddobelieve,andthathelpsme,Humphrey,whoamintunewithyou。Yes,ithelpsmemuchmorethandoBastinandhisnewreligion,becausesuchiswoman’sway。Now,I thinkBickleywillsoonreturn,soletustalkofothermatters。 Tellmeofthehistoryofyourpeople,Humphrey,thatmyfathersaysarenowatwar。\" ChapterXVIII TheAccidentBickleydidreturn,havingrecoveredhistemper,sinceafterallitwasimpossibleforanyonetoremainangrywiththeLadyYvaforlong,andwespentaveryhappytimetogether。Weinstructedandshewasthehumblepupil。 Howswiftandnimblewasherintelligence!Inthatonemorningshelearnedallouralphabetandhowtowriteourletters。Itappearedthatamongherpeople,atanyrateintheirlaterperiods,theonlyformofwritingthatwasusedwasahighlyconcentratedshorthandwhichsavedlabour。Theyhadnojournals,sincenewswhicharrivedtelepathicallyorbysomeformofwirelesswasproclaimedtothosewhocaredtolisten,andonitallformedtheirownjudgments。Inthesamewaypoemsandevenromanceswererepeated,asinHomer’sdayorinthetimeoftheNorsesagas,bywordofmouth。Noneoftheirsecretknowledgewaswrittendown。LiketheritualofFreemasonryitwasconsideredtoosacred。 Moreover,whenmenlivedforhundredsofyearsthiswasnotsonecessary,especiallyastheirgreatfearwaslestitshouldfallintothehandsoftheoutsidenations,whomtheycalledBarbarians。For,beitremembered,theseSonsofWisdomwerealwaysaverysmallpeoplewhoruledbytheweightoftheirintelligenceandthestrengthoftheiraccumulatedlore。Indeed,theycouldscarcelybecalledapeople;ratherweretheyafewfamilies,allofthemmoreorlessconnectedwiththeoriginalrulingDynastywhichconsidereditselfhalfdivine。Thesefamilieswerewaiteduponbyamultitudeofservantsorslavesdrawnfromthesubjectnations,forthemostpartskilledinoneartoranother,orperhaps,remarkablefortheirpersonalbeauty。 Stilltheyremainedoutsidethepale。 TheSonsofWisdomdidnotintermarrywiththemorteachthemtheirlearning,orevenallowthemtodrinkoftheirLife—water。 Theyruledthemasmenruledogs,treatingthemwithkindness,butnomore,andasmanydogsruntheircourseanddieinthelifetimeofonemaster,sodidmanyoftheseslavesinthatofoneoftheSonsofWisdom。Therefore,theslavescametoregardtheirlordsnotasmen,butgods。Theylivedbutthreescoreyearsandtenliketherestofus,andwenttheirway,they,whosegreat—great—grandfathershadservedthesamemasterandwhosegreat—great—great—grandchildrenwouldstillservehim。WhatshouldwethinkofalordwhoweknewwasalreadyadultinthetimeofWilliamtheConqueror,andwhoremainedstillvigorousandall—powerfulinthatofGeorgeV?One,moreover,whocommandedalmostinfiniteknowledgetowhichweweredeniedthekey?Wemighttremblebeforehimandlookuponhimashalf— divine,butshouldwenotlongtokillhimandpossesshisknowledgeandtherebyprolongourownexistencetohiswondrousmeasure? Such,saidYva,wasthecasewiththeirslavesandthepeoplesfromwhencethesesprang。Theygrewmadwithjealoushate,tillatlengthcametheendweknew。 Thuswetalkedonforhourstillthetimecameforustoeat。 AsbeforeYvapartookoffruitandweofsuchmeatsaswehadathand。These,wenoticed,disgustedher,because,assheexplained,theChildrenofWisdom,unlessdriventheretobynecessity,touchednoflesh,butlivedonthefruitsoftheearthandwinealone。OnlytheslavesandtheBarbariansateflesh。IntheseviewsBickleyforonceagreedwithher,thatis,exceptasregardsthewine,forintheory,ifnotinpractice——hewasavegetarian。 \"IwillbringyoumoreoftheLife—water,\"shesaid,\"andthenyouwillgrowtohatethesedeadthings,asIdo。Andnowfarewell。Myfathercallsme。Ihearhimthoughyoudonot。To— morrowIcannotcome,butthedayafterIwillcomeandbringyoutheLife—water。Nay,accompanymenot,butasIseehewishesit,letTommygowithme。Iwillcareforhim,andheisafriendinallthatlonelyplace。\" Soshewent,andwithherTommy,rejoicing。 \"Ungratefullittledevil!\"saidBickley。\"Herewe’vefedandpettedhimfrompuppyhood,oratleastyouhave,andyetheskipsoffwiththefirststranger。Ineversawhimbehavelikethattoanywoman,exceptyourpoorwife。\" \"Iknow,\"Ianswered。\"Icannotunderstandit。Hullo!herecomesBastin。\" Bastinitwas,dishevelledandlookingmuchtheworseforwear,alsominushisBibleinthenativetongue。 \"Well,howhaveyoubeengettingon?\"saidBickley。 \"Ishouldlikesometea,alsoanythingthereistoeat。\" Wesuppliedhimwiththesenecessaries,andafterawhilehesaidslowlyandsolemnly: \"IcannothelpthinkingofachildishstorywhichBickleytoldorinventedonenightatyourhouseathome。Irememberhehadanargumentwithmywife,whichhesaidputhiminmindofit,IamsureIdon’tknowwhy。Itwasaboutamonkeyandaparrotthatwerelefttogetherunderasofaforalongwhile,wheretheyweresoquietthateverybodyforgotthem。Thentheparrotcameoutwithonlyonefeatherleftinitstailandnoneatallonitsbody,saying,’I’vehadnoendofatime!’afterwhichitdroppeddownanddied。Doyouknow,Ifeeljustlikethatparrot,onlyI don’tmeantodie,andIthinkIgavethemonkeyquiteasgoodashegaveme!\" \"Whathappened?\"Iasked,intenselyinterested。 \"Oh!theGlitteringLadytookmeintothatpalacehallwhereOrowassittinglikeaspiderinaweb,andleftmethere。Igottoworkatonce。HewasmuchinterestedintheOldTestamentstoriesandsaidtherewerepointsoftruthaboutthem,althoughtheyhadevidentlycomedowntothemodernwriter——hecalledhimamodernwriter——inalegendaryform。Ithoughthisremarksimpertinentandwithdifficultyrefrainedfromsayingso。LeavingthestoryoftheDelugeandallthat,Ispokeofothermatters,tellinghimofeternallifeandHeavenandHell,ofwhichthepoorbenightedmanhadneverheard。Ipointedoutespeciallythatunlessherepented,hislife,byallaccounts,hadbeensowicked,thathewascertainlydestinedtothelatterplace。\" \"Whatdidhesaytothat?\"Iasked。 \"Doyouknow,Ithinkitfrightenedhim,ifonecouldimagineOrobeingfrightened。AtanyrateheremarkedthatthetruthorfalsityofwhatIsaidwasanurgentmatterforhim,ashecouldnotexpecttolivemorethanafewhundredyearslonger,thoughperhapshemightprolongtheperiodbyanotherspellofsleep。 ThenheaskedmewhyIthoughthimsowicked。Irepliedbecausehehimselfsaidthathehaddrownedmillionsofpeople,whichshowedanevilheartandintentionevenifitwerenotafact。Hethoughtalongwhileandaskedwhatcouldbedoneinthecircumstances。Irepliedthatrepentanceandreparationweretheonlycoursesopentohim。\" \"Reparation!\"Iexclaimed。 \"Yes,reparationwaswhatIsaid,thoughIthinkImadeamistakethere,asyouwillsee。AsnearlyasIcanremember,heansweredthathewasbeginningtorepent,asfromallhehadlearnedfromus,hegatheredthattheraceswhichhadarisenasaconsequenceofhisaction,wereworsethanthosewhichhehaddestroyed。Asregardsreparation,whathehaddoneoncehecoulddoagain。Hewouldthinkthematteroverseriously,andseeifitwerepossibleandadvisabletoraisethosepartsoftheworldwhichhadbeensunk,andsinkthosewhichhadbeenraised。Ifso,hethoughtthatwouldmakeveryhandsomeamendstothedepartednationsandsethimquiterightwithanysuperiorPower,ifsuchathingexisted。Whatareyoulaughingat,Bickley?Idon’tthinkitalaughingmatter,sincesuchremarksdonotseemtometoindicateanyrealchangeinOro’sheart,whichiswhatIwastryingtoeffect。\" Bickley,whowasconvulsedwithmerriment,wipedhiseyesandsaid: \"Youdearolddonkey,don’tyouseewhatyouhavedone,orratherwouldhavedoneiftherewereawordoftruthinallthisridiculousstoryaboutadeluge?Youwouldbeinthewayofmakingyourpreciouspupil,whocertainlyisthemostmasterlyoldliarintheworld,repeathisoffenceandsendEuropetothebottomofthesea。\" \"Thatdidoccurtome,butitdoesn’tmuchmatterasIamquitecertainthatsuchathingwouldneverbeallowed。Ofcoursetherewasarealdelugeonce,butOrohadnomoretodowithitthanI had。Don’tyouagree,Arbuthnot?\" \"Ithinkso,\"Iansweredcautiously,\"butreallyinthisplaceIambeginningtolosecountofwhatisorisnotpossible。Also,ofcourse,theremayhavebeenmanydeluges;indeedthehistoryoftheworldshowsthatthiswasso;itiswritteninitsgeologicalstrata。Whatwastheendofit?\" \"TheendwasthathetooktheSouthSeaBibleand,afterIhadexplainedalittleaboutourletters,seemedtobeabletoreaditatonce。Isupposehewasacquaintedwiththeartofprintinginhisyouth。Atanyratehesaidthathewouldstudyit,Idon’tknowhow,unlesshecanread,andthatintwodays’timehewouldletmeknowwhathethoughtaboutthematterofmyreligion。Thenhetoldmetogo。IsaidthatIdidnotknowthewayandwasafraidoflosingmyself。Thereuponhewavedhishand,andI reallycan’tsaywhathappened。\" \"Didyoulevitateuphere,\"askedBickley,\"likethelatelamentedMr。Homeatthespiritualisticseances?\" \"No,Ididnotexactlylevitate,butsomethingorsomeoneseemedtogetaholdofme,andIwasjustrushedalonginamosttumultuousfashion。ThenextthingIknewwasthatIwasstandingatthedoorofthatsepulchre,thoughIhavenorecollectionofgoingupinthelift,orwhateveritis。Ibelievethosebeastlycavesarefullofghosts,ordevils,andtheworstofitisthattheyhavekeptmysolar—tope,whichIputonthismorningforgettingthatitwouldbeuselessthere。\" \"TheLadyYva’sFourthDimensioninaction,\"Isuggested,\"onlyitwouldn’tworkonsolar—topes。\" \"Idon’tknowwhatyouaretalkingabout,\"saidBastin,\"butifmyhathadtobeleft,whynotmybootsandothergarments? Pleasestopyournonsenseandpassthetea。ThankgoodnessI haven’tgottogodowntheretomorrow,asheseemstohavehadenoughofmeforthepresent,soIvoteweallpayavisittotheship。Itwillbeaverypleasantchange。Icouldn’tstandtwodaysrunningwiththatoldfiend,andhisghostsordevilsinthecave。\" Nextmorningaccordingly,fearingnoharmfromtheOrofenans,wetookthecanoeandrowedtothemainisland。Maramahadevidentlyseenuscoming,forheandanumberofhispeoplemetuswitheverydemonstrationofdelight,andescortedustotheship。Herewefoundthingsjustaswehadleftthem,fortherehadbeennoattemptattheftorothermischief。 WhilewewereinthecabinafitofmoralweaknessseemedtoovercomeBickley,thefirstandImayaddthelastfromwhichI eversawhimsuffer。 \"Doyouknow,\"hesaid,addressingus,\"Ithinkthatweshoulddowelltotrytogetoutofthisplace。Eliminatingagreatdealofthemarvelouswithwhichweseemtohavecomeintouchhere,itisstillobviousthatwefindourselvesinverypeculiarandunhealthysurroundings。Imeanmentallyunhealthy,indeedIthinkthatifwestayheremuchlongerweshallprobablygooffourheads。Nowthatboatonthedeckremainssoundandseaworthy。Whyshouldnotweprovisionherandtakeourchance?Weknowmoreorlesswhichwaytosteer。\" BastinandIlookedateachother。Itwashewhospokefirst。 \"Wouldn’titberatherariskyjobinanopenboat?\"heasked。 \"However,thatdoesn’tmattermuchbecauseIdon’ttakeanyaccountofrisks,knowingthatIamofmorevaluethanasparrowandthatthehairsofmyheadareallnumbered。\" \"Theymightbenumberedunderwateraswellasaboveit,\" mutteredBickley,\"andIfeelsurethatonyourownshowing,youwouldbeasvaluabledeadasalive。\" \"WhatIseemtofeel,\"wentonBastin,\"isthatIhaveworktomyhandhere。Also,thelocumtenensatFulcombenodoubtrunstheparishaswellasIcould。IndeedIconsiderhimabettermanfortheplacethanIam。ThatoldOroisatoughproposition,butIdonotdespairofhimyet,andbesideshimthereistheGlitteringLady,amostopen—mindedperson,whomIhavenotyethadanyrealopportunityofapproachinginaspiritualsense。 Thenthereareallthesenativeswhocannotlearnwithoutateacher。SoonthewholeIthinkIwouldratherstaywhereIamuntilProvidencepointsoutsomeotherpath。\" \"Iamofthesameopinion,ifforsomewhatdifferentreasons,\" Isaid。\"Idonotsupposethatithasoftenbeenthefortuneofmentocomeintouchwithsuchthingsaswehavefounduponthisisland。Theymaybeillusions,butatleasttheyareveryinterestingillusions。Onemightlivetenlifetimesandfindnothingelseofthesort。ThereforeIshouldliketoseetheendofthedream。\" Bickleyreflectedalittle,thensaid: \"OnthewholeIagreewithyou。OnlymybraintottersandIamterriblyafraidofmadness。IcannotbelievewhatIseemtohearandsee,andthatwaymadnesslies。Itisbettertodiethantogomad。\"