第18章

类别:其他 作者:H.Rider Haggard字数:9088更新时间:19/01/07 15:17:55
\"You’lldothatanywaywhenyourtimecomes,Bickley,Imeandecease,ofcourse,\"interruptedBastin。\"Andwhoknows,perhapsallthisisanopportunitygivenbyProvidencetoopenyoureyes,which,Imustsay,aresingularlyblind。Youthinkyouknoweverythingthereistolearn,butthefactisthatliketherestofus,youknownothingatall,andgoodmanthoughyouare,obstinatelyrefusetoadmitthetruthandtoseeksupportelsewhere。FormypartIbelievethatyouareafraidoffallinginlovewiththatGlitteringLadyandofbeingconvincedbyherthatyouarewronginyourmostunsatisfactoryconclusions。\" \"Iamout—votedanyway,\"saidBickley,\"andfortherest,Bastin,lookafteryourselfandleavemealone。IwilladdthatonthewholeIthinkyouarebothright,andthatitiswisestforustostopwhereweare,forafterallwecanonlydieonce。\" \"Iamnotsosure,Bickley。Thereisathingcalledtheseconddeath,whichiswhatistroublingthatoldscoundrel,Oro。NowI willgoandlookforthosebooks。\" Sotheideaofflightwasabandoned,althoughIadmitthateventomyselfithadattractions。ForIfeltthatIwasbeingwrappedinanetofmysteriesfromwhichIsawnoescape。Yes,andofmorethanmysteries;IwhohadswornthatIwouldneverlookuponanotherwoman,waslearningtolovethissweetandwondrousYva,andofthatwhatcouldbetheend? Wecollectedallwehadcometoseek,andstartedhomewardsescortedbyMaramaandhispeople,includinganumberofyoungwomenwhodancedbeforeusinalightarrayofflowers。 Passingouroldhouse,wecametothegrovewheretheidolOrohadstoodandBastinwassonearlysacrificed。Therewasanotheridoltherenowwhichhewishedtoexamine,butintheenddidnotasthenativessoobviouslyobjected。IndeedMaramatoldmethatnotwithstandingthemysteriousdeathofthesorcerersontheRockofOfferings,therewasstillastrongpartyintheislandwhowouldbegladtodousamischiefifanyfurtheraffrontwereofferedtotheirhereditarygod。 Hequestionedusalsotentativelyabouttheapparition,forsuchheconceivedittobe,whichhadappearedupontherockandkilledthesorcerers,andIansweredhimasIthoughtwisest,tellinghimthataterriblePowerwasafootintheland,whichhewoulddowelltoobey。 \"Yes,\"hesaid;\"theGodoftheMountainofwhomthetraditionhascomedowntousfromourforefathers。Heisawakeagain;hesees,hehearsandweareafraid。Pleadwithhimforus,O Friend—from—the—Sea。\" Ashespokewewerepassingthroughalittlepatchofthickbush。Suddenlyfromoutofthisbush,Isawaladappear。Heworeamaskuponhisface,butfromhisshapecouldnothavebeenmorethanthirteenorfourteenyearsofage。Inhishandwasawoodenclub。Heranforward,stopped,andwithayellofhatehurledit,IthinkatBastin,butithitme。AtanyrateIfeltashockandrememberednomore。 Dreams。Dreams。Endlessdreams!Whatweretheyallabout?Idonotknow。ItseemedtomethatthroughthemcontinuallyIsawthestatelyfigureofoldOrocontemplatingmegravely,asthoughheweremakinguphismindaboutsomethinginwhichImustplayapart。Thentherewasanotherfigure,thatofthegraciousbutimperialYva,whofromtimetotime,asIthought,leantovermeandwhisperedinmyearwordsofrestandcomfort。Norwasthisall,sincehershapehadawayofchangingsuddenlyintothatofmylostwifewhowouldspeakwithhervoice。OrperhapsmywifewouldspeakwithYva’svoice。Tomydisorderedsenseitwasasthoughtheywereonepersonality,havingtwoshapes,eitherofwhichcouldbeassumedatwill。Itwasmoststrangeandyettomemostblessed,sinceinthelivingIseemedtohavefoundthedead,andinthedeadtheliving。More,Itookjourneys,orrathersomeunknownpartofmeseemedtodoso。OneoftheseI remember,foritsmajesticcharacterstampeditselfuponmymindinsuchafashionthatallthewatersofdeliriumcouldnotwashitoutnorallitswindsblowawaythatmemory。 IwastravellingthroughspacewithYvaathousandtimesfasterthanlightcanflash。Wepassedsunaftersun。Theydrewnear,theygrewintoenormous,flamingGloriesroundwhichcircledworlduponworld。Theybecamesmall,dwindledtopointsoflightanddisappeared。 Wefoundfootinguponsomefarlandandpassedamarvelouswhitecitywhereinwerebuildingswithdomesofcrystalandalabaster,inthelatterofwhichweresetwindowsmadeofgreatjewels;sapphiresorrubiestheyseemedtome。Wewentonupalovelyvalley。Totheleftwerehills,downwhichtumbledwaterfalls;totherightwasariverbroadanddeepthatseemedtooverflowitsbanksasdoestheNile。Behindwerehighmountainsontheslopesofwhichgrewforestsofglorioustrees,someofthemaflamewithbloom,whilefarawayuptheircrestsstoodcolossalgoldenstatuessetwideapart。Theylookedlikeguardianangelswatchingthatcityandthatvale。Thelandwaslitwithalightsuchasthatofthemoon,onlyintensifiedandofmanycolours。Indeedlookingup,Isawthataboveusfloatedthreemoons,eachofthembiggerthanourownatthefull,andgatheredthathereitwasnight。 Wecametoahousesetamidscentedgardensandhavinginfrontofitterracesofflowers。Itseemednotunlikemyownhouseathome,butItooklittlenoteofit,becauseofawomanwhosatupontheverandah,ifImaycallitso。Shewascladingarmentsofwhitesilkfastenedabouthermiddlewithajewelledgirdle。 Onherneckalsowasacollarofjewels。Iforgetthecolour; indeedthisseemedtochangecontinuallyasthelightfromthedifferentmoonsstruckwhenshemoved,butIthinkitsprevailingtingewasblue。Inherarmsthiswomannursedabeauteous,sleepingchild,singinghappilyassherockedittoandfro。Yvawenttowardsthewomanwholookedupatherstepandutteredalittlecry。ThenforthefirsttimeIsawthewoman’sface。Itwasthatofmydeadwife! AsIfollowedinmydream,alittlecloudofmistseemedtocoverbothmywifeandYva,andwhenIreachedtheplaceYvawasgone。Onlymywiferemained,sheandthechild。Thereshestood,solemnandsweet。WhileIdrewnearshelaiddownthechilduponthecushionedseatfromwhichshehadrisen。Shestretchedoutherarmsandflungthemaboutme。SheembracedmeandIembracedherinaraptureofreunion。Thenturningsheliftedupthechild,itwasagirl,formetokiss。 \"Seeyourdaughter,\"shesaid,\"andbeholdallthatIammakingreadyforyouwhereweshalldwellinadaytocome。\" Igrewconfused。 \"Yva,\"Isaid。\"WhereisYvawhobroughtmehere?Didshegointothehouse?\" \"Yes,\"sheansweredhappily。\"Yvawentintothehouse。Lookagain!\" IlookedanditwasYva’sfacethatwaspressedagainstmyown,andYva’seyesthatgazedintomine。Onlyshewasgarbedasmywifehadbeen,andonherbosomhungthechangefulnecklace。 \"Youmaynotstay,\"shewhispered,andlo!itwasmywifethatspoke,notYva。 \"Tellmewhatitmeans?\"Iimplored。 \"Icannot,\"sheanswered。\"Therearemysteriesthatyoumaynotknowasyet。LoveYvaifyouwillandIshallnotbejealous,forinlovingYvayouloveme。Youcannotunderstand?Thenknowthis,thatthespirithasmanyshapes,andyetisthesamespirit—— sometimes。NowIwhoamfar,yetnear,bidyoufarewellawhile。\" Thenallpassedinaflashandthedreamended。 SuchwastheonlyoneofthosevisionswhichIcanrecall。 Iseemedtowakeupasfromalongandtumultuoussleep。ThefirstthingIsawwasthepalmroofofourhouseupontherock。I knewitwasourhouse,forjustabovemewasapalmleafofwhichIhadmyselftiedthestalktotheframeworkwithabitofcolouredribbonihadIhadchancedtofindinmypocket。ItcameoriginallyfromtheprogrammecardofadancethatIhadattendedatHonoluluandIhadkeptitbecauseIthoughtitmightbeuseful。FinallyIusedittosecurethatlooseleaf。Istaredattheribbonwhichbroughtbackafloodofmemories,andasIwasthusengagedIheardvoicestalking,andlistened——Bickley’svoice,andtheLadyYva’s。 \"Yes,\"Bickleywassaying,\"hewilldowellnow,buthewentnear,verynear。\" \"Iknewhewouldnotdie,\"sheanswered,\"becausemyfathersaidso。\" \"Therearetwosortsofdeaths,\"repliedBickley,\"thatofthebodyandthatofthemind。Iwasafraidthatevenifhelived,hisreasonwouldgo,butfromcertainindicationsIdonotthinkthatwillhappennow。Hewillgetquitewellagain——though——\"andhestopped。 \"Iamverygladtohearyousayso,\"chimedinBastin。\"ForweeksIthoughtthatIshouldhavetoreadtheBurialServiceoverpoorArbuthnot。IndeedIwasmuchpuzzledastothebestplacetoburyhim。FinallyIfoundaverysuitablespotroundthecornerthere,whereitisn’trock,inwhichonecan’tdigandthesoilisnotliabletobeflooded。InfactIwentsofarastoclearawaythebushandtomarkoutthegravewithitsfoottotheeast。Inthisclimateonecan’tdelay,youknow。\" WeakasIwas,Ismiled。ThispracticalproceedingwassoexactlylikeBastin。 \"Well,youwastedyourlabour,\"exclaimedBickley。 \"Yes,IamgladtosayIdid。ButIdon’tthinkitwasyouroperationsandtherestthatcuredhim,Bickley,althoughyoutakeallthecredit。IbelieveitwastheLife—waterthattheLadyYvamadehimdrinkandthestuffthatOrosentwhichwegavehimwhenyouweren’tlooking。\" \"ThenIhopethatinthefutureyouwillnotinterferewithmycases,\"saidtheindignantBickley,andeitherthevoicespassedawayorIwenttosleep。 WhenIwokeupagainitwastofindtheLadyYvaseatedatmysidewatchingme。 \"Forgiveme,Humphrey,becauseIhere;othersgoneoutwalking,\"shesaidslowlyinEnglish。 \"Whotaughtyoumylanguage?\"Iasked,astonished。\"BastinandBickley,whileyouill,theyteach;theyteachmemuch。Manjustsamenowashewashundredthousandyearsago,\"sheaddedenigmatically。\"Allthinkonewomanbeautifulwhennootherwomanthere。\" \"Indeed,\"Ireplied,wonderingtowhatproceedingsonthepartofBastinandBickleyshealluded。Couldthatself—centredpair—— oh!itwasimpossible。 \"HowlonghaveIbeenill?\"IaskedtoescapethesubjectwhichIfelttobeuncomfortable。 Sheliftedherbeautifuleyesinsearchofwordsandbegantocountuponherfingers。 \"Twomoon,onehalfmoon,yes,tenweek,countingSabbath,\"sheansweredtriumphantly。 \"Tenweeks!\"Iexclaimed。 \"Yes,Humphrey,tenwholeweeksandthreedaysyoufirstbad,thenmad。Oh!\"shewenton,breakingintotheOrofenantonguewhichshespokesoperfectly,althoughitwasnotherown。ThatlanguageofhersIneverlearned,butIknowshethoughtinitandonlytranslatedintoOrofenan,becauseofthegreatdifficultywhichshehadinrenderingherhighandrefinedideasintoitssimplermetaphor,andthestrangewordswhichoftensheintroduced。\"Oh!youhavebeenveryill,friendofmyheart。AttimesIthoughtthatyouweregoingtodie,andweptandwept。 Bickleythinksthathesavedyouandheisveryclever。Buthecouldnothavesavedyou;thatwantedmoreknowledgethananyofyourpeoplehave;onlyIprayyou,donottellhimsobecauseitwouldhurthispride。\" \"Whatwasthematterwithmethen,Yva?\" \"Allwasthematter。First,theweaponwhichthatyouththrew—— hewasthesonofthesorcererwhommyfatherdestroyed——crushedintheboneofyourhead。Heisdeadforhiscrimeandmayhebeaccursedforever,\"sheaddedintheonlyoutbreakofrageandvindictivenessinwhichIeversawherindulge。 \"Onemustmakeexcusesforhim;hisfatherhadbeenkilled,\"I said。 \"Yes,thatiswhatBastintellsme,anditistrue。Still,forthatyoungmanIcanmakenoexcuse;itwascowardlyandwicked。 Well,Bickleyperformedwhathecallsoperation,andtheLordOro,hecameupfromhishouseandhelpedhim,becauseBastinisnogoodinsuchthings。Thenhecanonlyturnawayhisheadandpray。I,too,helped,holdinghotwaterandlinenandjarofthestuffthatmadeyoufeellikenothing,althoughthesightmademefeelmoresickthananythingsinceIsawoneIlovedkilled,oh,long,longago。\" \"Wastheoperationsuccessful?\"Iasked,forIdidnotdaretobegintothankher。 \"Yes,thatcleverman,Bickley,liftedthebonewhichhadbeencrushedin。Onlythensomethingbrokeinyourheadandyoubegantobleedhere,\"andshetouchedwhatIbelieveiscalledthetemporalartery。\"Theveinhadbeencrushedbytheblow,andgaveway。Bickleyworkedandworked,andjustintimehetieditupbeforeyoudied。Oh!thenIfeltasthoughIlovedBickley,thoughafterwardsBastinsaidthatIoughttohavelovedhim,sinceitwasnotBickleywhostoppedthebleeding,buthisprayer。\" \"Perhapsitwasboth,\"Isuggested。 \"Perhaps,Humphrey,atleastyouweresaved。Thencameanothertrouble。Youtookfever。Bickleysaidthatitwasbecauseacertaingnathadbittenyouwhenyouwentdowntotheship,andmyfather,theLordOro,toldmethatthiswasright。Attheleastyougrewveryweakandlostyourmind,anditseemedasthoughyoumustdie。Then,Humphrey,IwenttotheLordOroandkneeledbeforehimandprayedyoulife,forIknewthathecouldcureyouifhewould,thoughBickley’sskillwasatanend。 \"’Daughter,’hesaidtome,’notoncebutagainandagainyouhavesetupyourwillagainstmineinthepast。WhythenshouldI troublemyselftograntthisdesireofyoursinthepresent,andsaveamanwhoisnothingtome?’ \"Irosetomyfeetandanswered,’Idonotknow,myFather,yetIamcertainthatforyourownsakeitwillbewelltodoso。I amsurethatofeverythingevenyoumustgiveanaccountatlast,greatthoughyoube,andwhoknows,perhapsonelifewhichyouhavesavedmayturnthebalanceinyourfavour。’ \"’SurelythepriestBastinhasbeentalkingtoyou,’hesaid。 \"’Hehas,’Ianswered,’andnothealone。Manyvoiceshavebeentalkingtome。’\" \"Whatdidyoumeanbythat?\"Iasked。 \"ItmattersnothingwhatImeant,Humphrey。Bestillandlistentomystory。Myfatherthoughtawhileandanswered: \"’Iamjealousofthisstranger。Whatishebutashort—livedhalf—barbariansuchasweknewintheolddays?Andyetalreadyyouthinkmoreofhimthanyoudoofme,yourfather,thedivineOrowhohaslivedathousandyears。AtfirstIhelpedthatphysiciantosavehim,butnowIthinkIwishhimdead。’ \"’Ifyouletthismandie,myFather,’Ianswered,’thenwepart。RememberthatIalsohaveofthewisdomofourpeople,andcanuseitifIwill。’ \"’Thensavehimyourself,’hesaid。 \"’PerhapsIshall,myFather,’Ianswered,’butifsoitwillnotbehere。Isaythatifsowepartandyoushallbelefttoruleinyourmajestyalone。’ \"NowthisfrightenedtheLordOro,forhehastheweaknessthathehatestobealone。 \"’IfIdowhatyouwill,doyouswearnevertoleaveme,Yva?’ heasked。’Knowthatifyouwillnotswear,themandies。’ \"’Iswear,’Ianswered——foryoursake,Humphrey——thoughIdidnotlovetheoath。 \"ThenhegavemeacertainmedicinetomixwiththeLife—water,andwhenyouwerealmostgonethatmedicinecuredyou,thoughBickleydoesnotknowit,asnothingelsecouldhavedone。NowI havetoldyouthetruth,foryourownearonly,Humphrey。\" \"Yva,\"Iasked,\"whydidyoudoallthisforme?\" \"Humphrey,Idonotknow,\"sheanswered,\"butIthinkbecauseI must。Nowsleepawhile。\" ChapterXIX TheProposalsofBastinandBickleySofarasmybodywasconcernedIgrewwellwithgreatrapidity,thoughitwaslongbeforeIgotbackmystrength。ThusIcouldnotwalkfarorendureanysustainedexertion。Withmyminditwasotherwise。Icannotexplainwhathadhappenedtoit; indeedIdonotknow,butinasenseitseemedtohavebecomedetachedandtohaveassumedakindofpersonalityofitsown。Attimesitfeltasthoughitwerenolongeraninhabitantofthebody,butratheritsmoreorlessindependentpartner。Iwasperfectlyclear—headedandofinsanityIexperiencednosymptoms。 Yetmymind,Iusethattermfromlackofabetter,wasnotentirelyundermycontrol。Foronething,atnightitappearedtowanderfaraway,thoughwhitheritwentandwhatitsawthereI couldneverremember。 Irecordthisbecausepossiblyitexplainscertainmysteriousevents,iftheywereeventsandnotdreams,whichshortlyImustsetout。IspoketoBickleyaboutthematter。Heputitbylightly,sayingthatitwasonlyaresultofmylongandmostsevereillnessandthatIshouldsteadydownintime,especiallyifwecouldescapefromthatislandanditsunnaturalatmosphere。 Yetashespokeheglancedatmeshrewdlywithhisquickeyes,andwhenheturnedtogoawayIheardhimmuttersomethingtohimselfabout\"unholyinfluences\"and\"thatconfoundedoldOro。\" Thewordswerespokentohimselfandquitebeneathhisbreath,andofcoursenotmeanttoreachme。Butoneofthecuriousconcomitantsofmystatewasthatallmysenses,andespeciallymyhearing,hadbecomemostabnormallyacute。Awhisperfarawaywasnowtomelikealoudremarkmadeinaroom。 Bickley’sreflection,forIcanscarcelycallitmore,setmethinking。YvahadsaidthatOrosentmemedicinewhichwasadministeredtomewithoutBickley’sknowledge,andasshebelieved,savedmylife,orcertainlymyreason。Whatwasinit? Iwondered。ThentherewasthatLife—waterwhichYvabroughtandinsisteduponmydrinkingeveryday。Undoubtedlyitwasamarveloustonicanddidmegood。Butithadothereffectsalso。 Thus,asshesaidwouldbethecase,afteracourseofitI conceivedthegreatestdislike,whichImayaddhasneverentirelyleftme,ofanyformofmeat,alsoofalcohol。AllI seemedtowantwasthiswaterwithfruit,orsuchnativevegetablesastherewere。Bickleydisapprovedandmademeeatfishoccasionally,buteventhisrevoltedme,andsinceIgainedsteadilyinweight,aswefoundoutbyasimplecontrivance,andremainedhealthyineveryotherway,soonheallowedmetochoosemyowndiet。 AboutthistimeOrobegantopaymefrequentvisits。Healwayscameatnight,andwhatismoreIknewwhenhewascoming,althoughhenevergavemewarning。HereIshouldexplainthatduringmyillnessBastin,whowassoingeniousinsuchmatters,hadbuiltanotherhutinwhichheandBickleyslept,ofcoursewhentheywerenotwatchingme,leavingouroldbed—chambertomyself。 Well,IwouldwakeupandbeawarethatOrowascoming。Thenheappearedinasilentandmysteriousway,asthoughhehadmaterialisedintheroom,forIneversawhimpassthedoorway。 Inthemoonlight,orthestarlight,whichflowedthroughtheentranceandthesideofthehutthatwasonlyenclosedwithlatticework,Iperceivedhimseathimselfuponacertainstool,lookinglikeamostmajesticghostwithhisflowingrobes,longwhitebeard,hookednoseandhawkeyes。Intheday—timehemuchresembledthelateGeneralBoothwhomIhadoftenseen,exceptforcertainaddedqualitiesofheightandclassicbeautyofcountenance。Atnight,however,heresemblednoonebuthimself,indeedtherewassomethingmightyandgodlikeinhisappearance,somethingthatmadeonefeelthathewasnotasareothermen。 Forawhilehewouldsitandlookatme。Thenhebegantospeakinalow,vibrantvoice。Whatdidhespeakof?Well,manymatters。Itwasasthoughhewereunburdeningthathoarysoulofhisbecauseitcouldnolongerendurethegrandeurofitsownloneliness。Amongstsundrysecretthings,hetoldmeofthepasthistoryofthisworldofours,andofthemightycivilisationswhichforuncountedagesheandhisforefathershadruledbythestrengthoftheirwillandknowledge,ofthedwindlingoftheirraceandofthefinaldestructionofitsenemies,althoughI noticedthatnowhenolongersaidthatthiswashisworkalone。 OnenightIaskedhimifhedidnotmissallsuchpompandpower。 Thensuddenlyhebrokeout,andforthefirsttimeIreallylearnedwhatambitioncanbewhenitutterlypossessesthesoulofman。 \"Areyoumad,\"heasked,\"thatyousupposethatI,Oro,theKingofkings,canbecontenttodwellsolitaryinagreatcavewithnonebuttheshadowsofthedeadtoserveme?Nay,Imustruleagainandbeevengreaterthanbefore,orelseItoowilldie。Bettertofacethefuture,evenifitmeansoblivion,thantoremainthusarelicofagloriouspast,stilllivingandyetdead,likethatstatueofthegreatgodFatewhichyousawinthetempleofmyworship。\" \"Bastindoesnotthinkthatthefuturemeansoblivion,\"I remarked。 \"Iknowit。Ihavestudiedhisfaithandfindittoohumbleformytaste,alsotoonew。ShallI,Oro,creepasuppliantbeforeanyPower,andconfesswhatBastinispleasedtocallmysins? Nay,Iwhoamgreatwillbetheequalofallgreatness,ornothing。\" Hepausedawhile,thenwenton: \"Bastinspeaksof’eternity。’Whereandwhatthenisthiseternitywhichifithasnoendcanhavehadnobeginning?Iknowthesecretofthesunsandtheirattendantworlds,andtheyarenomoreeternalthantheinsectwhichglittersforanhour。Outofshapeless,rushinggasestheygatheredtolivetheirday,andintogasesatlasttheydissolveagainwithalltheybore。\" \"Yes,\"Ianswered,\"buttheyreformintonewworlds。\" \"Thathavenopartwiththeold。Thisworld,too,willmelt,departingtowhenceitcame,asyoursacredwritingssay,andwhatthenofthosewhodweltanddwellthereon?No,Manoftoday,givemeTimeinwhichIruleandkeepyourdreamsofanEternitythatisnot,andinwhichyoumuststillcrawlandserve,evenifitwere。Yet,ifImight,Iconfessit,Iwouldliveonforever,butasMasternotasSlave。\"